Talking Troma with Lloyd Kaufman – Cinemassacre

Tony from Summarise the Movies already did this.  A MONTH AGO.

I tried to watch it, a month ago, and couldn’t do it.  I made it to 4:23.  Here are the problems:

– I don’t know what “Troma” is
– I barely know who Lloyd Kaufman is
– He just acts like a weird old Jewish man

As a kid, I didn’t know any Jewish people.  As an adult, I’ve come across a few and…let’s just say that my encounters have never been favourable.  The stereotypes all seem to ring true.  Maybe I’ve just had extraordinarily bad luck with the Chosen People.

But going back to my childhood, I’d see people on tv doing and/or saying weird things and…it didn’t make sense to me.  You’d watch the Jerry Lewis Telethon or something, and he’d be up there making weird noises and weird behaviours and you’d think, “This isn’t funny.   I don’t know what it is but it’s not funny.”

It was Jewish.  This is Jewish comedy.  These are Jewish behaviours.  Jewish people think that this is funny.  And given their domination of the entertainment industry, this is what gets presented as comedy in America.  

0:15 – Enter Lloyd Kaufman playing a clarinet.  He did the same “comedy” routine on Tony’s video.  They call it “schtick”.  Is anybody laughing?  Show me.  Show me one person who finds this funny.  Are Jewish people laughing at this?  It’s just weird and uncomfortable.

By the way, he’s wearing the same suit and tie that he wore in Tony’s video so these were obviously filmed on the same day.  I assumed as much but this confirms it.  It’s not like he was going to hang out with the Screenwave losers over multiple days.

Then Lloyd starts making weird old Jewish man jokes.  James looks uncomfortable and laughs, presumably because he’s nervous.  There’s this doddering old man here.  What is going on?  I better just laugh and hope that it all ends soon.

And obviously, James has zero conversation skills so he’s not equipped to deal with any of this.

1:00 – But first, a word from our sponsors.  Some shitty mobile game that James never played in his life.

3:45 – Now Lloyd Kaufman is talking about the last time he had diarrhoea.  He claims that it was in China in 1979.  

First of all, there’s no way that somebody hasn’t had loose stool in 40 years.  Secondly, who cares?  This is just more weird Semitic stuff.

So he’s saying all of this stuff and making random Jewish jokes and comments and James is just totally out of his depth.  He can’t respond to any of this.  He’s mentally challenged.  So he just laughs.  

And this is edited so badly.  James has no idea what to say so the next thing we get is Lloyd asking James what James’ next project is.  And James doesn’t even know.  He can’t even answer that simple question.  And why is Lloyd doing the interview?  It’s because James is totally inept.

The book.  That’s what Jimmy manages to spit out.  He’s working on his shitty autobiography.  And he says that it was inspired by Lloyd Kaufman’s book.  We’ve all read that, right?

I’m thinking that I only know Lloyd Kaufman through AVGN.  Maybe I knew the name before then but I wouldn’t be able to recognise him or tell you anything about him.  

I only know Toxic Crusaders through the cartoon and toy line, neither of which I had any interest in, but you’d see the commercials.  

What else has he done?  I don’t know.  And I don’t give a shit.

5:00 – Lloyd is talking about his books and his theories about movie making and shit like this and he’s really struggling to come up with new things to talk about because Jimmy contributes NOTHING to any of this.  So it’s just this guy doing a soliloquy.  He’s filibustering.  “How long can I keep talking before this retarded man jumps in with an observation of some sort?”

James does say “yeah” and “mm-hmm” sometimes but that’s not sufficient.  He’s totally checked out and it’s painful because I know that he can’t help it.  He’s doing his best but he just doesn’t have the mental acumen or the confidence or the skills or the concentration or whatever to have a conversation.  

6:45 – Now Lloyd is talking about Tony from Hack the Movies.  Again, James has said NOTHING in the past two or three minutes other than “yeah”.  So it’s just this guy constantly trying to think of new things to say.

7:00 – Then Lloyd says that he has a literary agent and he’s clearly suggesting that he can help Jimmy out with his book.  But Jimmy just ignores this because he’s an idiot.  He just goes on to the next question on his list.

This is brutal.  I’d like to finish this but I don’t know if I can.  James is just…he can’t do this shit.  I don’t care how much it’s edited.  

I can’t.  I’m at ten minutes.  James is fucking…you have fucking Rainman here and Lloyd Kaufman desperately trying to make this thing watchable.  This is awful.  All James can do is read from his fucking list of questions that Kieran probably wrote.  He can’t have a conversation AT ALL.  

It’s like a man talking to a child.  A mentally challenged child.  This should not happen.  James should not be making videos like this.  I thought that he was giving up on the unscripted stuff.  That was a wise move.  So why this?  

Let’s see what the boys on Reddit have to say. 

They didn’t much care for it.

God.   I interrupted Newt Week for THIS?  Sorry, Newt.  

6 thoughts on “Talking Troma with Lloyd Kaufman – Cinemassacre

  1. No, it's because you're PalpitationSea4098 from Reddit and you know that you're not wanted here. You're a spammer, you're mentally challenged, and you're a homosexual. I am not interested. I'm sorry. Take your special education homosexual obsession elsewhere. I won't publish any more of your comments so don't bother.

  2. You call me a toxic spammer well at least I'm liked by people in the Cinemassacre reddit community, and I'm also not banned from the Truth sub which you are. And at least I'm not a bigot.

  3. Just for everyone's benefit, it's because of this idiot that I had to turn moderation on. Because otherwise he spams the blog. This is what he does. He's a spammer. He said that he was in special education. I can believe it. He's clearly mentally challenged. AND GAY!I've told him 100 times that I am not interested. Even if I was gay, I would not be interested. I'd be going out with a hot local dude, not some special education retard from Reddit.He says the same stuff over and over and over again. He's been banned from all of Reddit for his insane spamming. He's clearly mentally challenged. He's banned from my sub-reddit and I don't want him here. He knows this. But there's no way to ban him. He has a weird, sexual obsession with me. I can set the blog so that only registered users can reply and that would help in terms of banning him but it would be a hassle for people. Not many people are going to sign up for a Blogger account just to post here.So thank this mentally retarded faggot for the moderation.

  4. Damn, I didn't realize this Chris Chan wannabe is the reason comments need approval.Only other sociopaths would “like” this guy's reddit posts so that's an immediate lie lol.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *