Gamer Girls

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gk1ump0J5Iw

This is the Valentine’s Day video for Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining.  A video about dogs.  She has a very close relationship with her dog.  I’ll just say that.

0:00 – Whoa!  She’s wearing a sweater and it’s pretty loosely-knit so you can see the outline of her bra.  Her dog will appreciate that.  Actually, will it?  Dogs don’t have good eyesight.  Well, her dog will appreciate the peanut butter later tonight.

Then she’s there with her dog Lily.  Lily has the look of a grizzled veteran.  She’s seen it all.  

Oh, TheGebs24 will also be in this.  She’s also a lesbian, same as Pam.  Although…as far as I’m aware, TheGebs24 isn’t getting it on with dogs.  

How fucking gross is this?  I’m not even joking.  I mean, do I have definitive proof that Pam aka CannotBeTamed is doing sexual stuff with her dog?  No.  But all the signs point to yes.  

2:15 – Pam is droning on about not wanting to fight Cerebrus, the three-headed dog of Hell in some game.  

4:45 – Now we’re over to “Gemma”, who is TheGebs24.  Thank the almighty fuck.  I never thought that I’d be happy to see TheGebs24 but here we are.  Anything to get away from this creepy as fuck love fest between Pam and fictional dogs.

God, this accent is really off-putting.

5:30 – She talks about Family Dog for the Super Nintendo.  She used to rent the game from Blockbuster.  “How much do you miss Blockbuster?”

Not at all, frankly.  I’m sorry that people lost their jobs but no, I don’t miss billion dollar multi-national corporations.  I also don’t miss having to go to a store to rent games or videos.  Isn’t what we have now better?  Being able to download whatever you want from the comfort of your home and keep it forever, for free?  

She doesn’t even realise that it was based on a cartoon.  Wasn’t it?  There was a short-lived cartoon in the early 1990s called Family Dog.  Let me look this up.

Yeah.  June 1993 to July 1993.  There were 10 episodes.  This was during the animation boom spurred on by The Simpsons.  Networks were scrambling to find the next big cartoon.  There was Fish Police and Capitol Critters.  None of them were successful.

It reminds me of Family Guy.  I remember British people talking about how much they loved Family Guy.  And I didn’t really get it.  This was early in the Family Guy run and there were a lot of references to US popular culture and New England more specifically.  So I didn’t understand how a British could possibly appreciate these jokes.  But whatever, you can appreciate things on different levels.  You don’t have to get every single joke.

6:30 – Pam pronounces “Camus” phonetically.  I remember her making this same mistake before and the horntards in the comments correcting her.  It has to be a mistake.  There’s no way that it’s “cam-us”.  

9:45 – She invites the horntards to talk about their own favourite dogs in video games.

Ummm….

Oh my god.  Then Pam makes out with her dog.  It’s uncomfortable as fuck.  That’s probably how she behaves with human partners as well, hence her being single.

But…oh fuck, I wish I wouldn’t have seen that.  Let’s just…video game dogs.  That was the topic.  What’s my favourite video game dog?  Fuck, I don’ t know.  I can’t even think of any.  Oh, there was that fucking dog in Fallout 3.  I didn’t give a shit about it, though.  

Dogs…video game dogs…mmmm….there must be loads.  Nothing springs to mind, though.  I’m so traumatised by Pam dry humping her dog that I can’t think straight.  Let’s just check out the comments.

Oh yeah.  Somebody in the comments mentions that bug in Fallout 3 which makes the dog almost invincible.  I think that that’s the case for all of your companions.  When I found this out, I quit the game.  I did wonder why my companions never died.  Maybe I’m just really awesome at the game.  But no, it’s because they have like six billion hit points.  I think that there was a patch that fixed this but I was already so far into the game that I got disillusioned.  

Somebody mentions the dog in King’s Quest III.  Yeah, I remember that.  Hardly note-worthy, though.

– “You forgot the dog from secret of evermore”

Pam says, “I didn’t forget anything.”

She really hates when people tell her that she forgot certain games like this.  The guy is obviously just leaving a comment, talking about a dog that he likes, but she gets personally offended by just about everything.  She has real trouble interacting with people.  Hence, her passion for dogs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dg4uNP46PBk