Gamer Girls

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_Om9VazVQY

Oh, Crystal Quin.  Delightful.  I’m going to refrain from making any equine-related insults today.  Because that’s not what it’s about.  If she had a nice personality, nobody would mention any resemblance to farm animals.  But she doesn’t.  She’s has a horrid personality.  And she contributes absolutely nothing to the show other than, “This actress is really hot and I’d like to have sex with her.”

0:15 – Tony explains that this is a “Rental Renew” wherein he discusses movies from Rental Reviews in episodes that he wasn’t in.  

0:45 – 

Tony: Justin Silverman didn’t want me in too many episodes back to back.  He thought that people would tune out.  

Crystal: What do you guys think?

Tony: I don’t know.  How’s Justin’s podcast doing?

This is obviously unfair.  The problem with the podcast was 100% James Rolfe.  Tony must know this.  Jimmy is completely incapable of having a conversation that doesn’t involve excrement and he sleepwalked through every episode except the one he did with the members of Rex Viper.  He couldn’t even pretend to be interested in this shit.  

Jimmy was also the reason why Rental Reviews was so bad.  And The OverAnalyzers.  

1:30 – Tony is talking about a poll that he had on Patreon asking what movie he should review.  He’s surprised that Predator didn’t win but then theorises that maybe because he already did a commentary track on Predator, people are satisfied with that.  

How many people possibly listened to that commentary track?  

The delusions continue when he says, “I guess they really wanted to know what I have to say about Last Action Hero.”

I thought that he was joking at first, but he says this a couple of times.  This isn’t a joke.

What insights is he going to have?  All he does is go through the movie scene by scene.  

Tony keeps hyping this movie.  It’s a piece of shit.  That’s the consensus.  But because he watched this as a kid, he thinks that it’s amazing.  Let me see what actual movie reviewers Siskel & Ebert had to say.

Two and a half stars from both critics in their print reviews.  Two thumbs down in the television review.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCbFXs_H-H8

7:00 – Tony mentions Paul Heyman being in some movie and Crystal starts screaming, “I LOVE PAUL HEYMAN!”

Yeah.  She’s a big wrestling fan, guys.  She’s sitting there watching this shit that’s for 12 year old boys.  

Then Tony and Crystal start talking about recent WWE events.  It’s embarrassing.  .

Newt did a recent video where he showed some of his comic collection.  He apparently sold almost all of his comics and almost all of his movie poster collection to fund this IDIOTIC movie idea of his about Shark Vampire or whatever.  What a fucking disaster that is.  Horrible decisions.  

Anyway, it gets me thinking, why am I watching this shit?  I’m not interested in any of this.  These people are GIANT nerds.  And the people watching it are giant nerds.

I liked comic books and wrestling as a kid.  But I stopped all of that shit by the time I was 18 or so.  Not because I just woke up one day and decided that this shit is for kids or nerds or whatever and I didn’t want to be a part of that.  I just naturally stopped being interested in that stuff.  You develop other interests as you get older.  Women, for example.  Jobs.  Whatever.  Or at least you should develop other interests.  A healthy person does.

Fucking anime is another one.  Star Trek.  Science fiction generally.  Again, I liked these things as a kid (not so much anime, it wasn’t big when I was a kid) but I’m an adult.  I don’t give a fuck about the Borg any more.  And any adult who does must have something wrong with them.

Video games are the only nerd activity that I still partake in but even then it’s not like when I was a kid.  I haven’t bought a console since I was in college.  There have only been about five games that I’ve played in the past 20 years.  I find a game that I like and I stick with it.  Other games come and go but generally that’s what I do.  And I’m not seeking out new games.  I’m not reading the “gaming” news.  None of this nerd shit.

10:15 – The background portion of the “review” is over and now they’re getting into the scene by scene breakdown.

11:30 – Crystal Quin is getting “horny vibes going.”  Oh.  We all give a shit about that.  We all want to know which actors and actresses you want to have sex with.  

Here’s an idea: just give a list at the start of the video of which actors and actresses you want to have sex with in the movie so that we can get that out of the way and then you can shut the fuck up while Tony just goes through the movie scene by scene for the next two hours.

15:00 – Tony shows some toy that he has.  Add this to the list of things that well-adjusted adults aren’t interested in.

You see this shit and it normalises the behaviour.  But you have to bear in mind that something like retro gaming Youtube channels attract a certain type of person, namely, giant nerds.  So what seems like normal isn’t normal.  It’s only normal in this niche community of giant nerds.  The general adult population is not interested in toys, anime, wrestling, or even video games.

19:45 – There’s an ad for a testicle shaving device.  Well, this is as good a time as any to stop this snoozefest.

I skipped to the end.  

1:35:45 – Tony is again talking about how Justin thought that people didn’t want to watch Tony in too many Rental Reviews episodes.  So Tony says something like, “Nobody would watch a show where I review movies once or twice a week”, referencing Talking About Tapes aka Hack the Movies.

Crystal then says, “I don’t think it’s just — okay, Tony.  You can just have the show by yourself.  Let’s see how that does.”

Crystal is actually suggesting that she’s part of the reason why people are watching.  She’s right in the horntard sense but I think in her mind she thinks that people are tuning in for her commentary.  You know…”That actress is really hot and I’d like to have sex with her.”

She’s delusional.  Everyone at Screenwave is delusional.  James Rolfe is delusional.  Mike Matei is delusional.  Erin is delusional.  Do any of these people want to put their Star Trek toys away for two seconds and join us in reality?  Your shows are all dogshit.  You’re dogshit.  You have no talent.  Do something else with your time.

1:36:00 – 

Tony: There have only been two episodes where I wasn’t on the review panel.

Crystal: One did phenomenal.

Tony: One got great views and no retention because they were like —

Crystal; Boobs!

Tony: They were like, “Women are talking?”

Crystal: Boobs!

Bizarre contribution by Crystal.  This is a reference to the Ghostbusters review.  I would think that that would have got the highest views.  It had Crystal Quin, Johanna, Mint Salad, and some large black woman who’s on OnlyFans.

Maybe this is what Tony is saying.  It got good views but people stopped watching.  It’s like with porn.  Once you blow your load, you turn that shit off.  You don’t continue watching to see how the plot unfolds.

I don’t remember that episode being that bad, actually.  I gave it a marginally positive review.  Let me check the archives.

https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2021/11/ghostbusters-2016-is-worst-hack-movies.html

Oh yeah.  I did give it a passably good review but then in the comments I rescinded my good review, having watched more of the episode.  Presumably, nobody had anything of substance to say, which would be par the course for these ladies.  

1:37:30 – Tony is talking about the fact that he wasn’t in some episode of Rental Reviews where they discuss Scott Pilgrim Versus the World.  He says that he knew more about the film and the books (or comic books) than anyone else who appeared.  So he says, “Fans have been pissed that I’ve been left out of that episode ever since.”

More delusions.  He doesn’t have fans and nobody gives a shit.  Nobody even knows about this.  

I used to think that he was joking with these sort of comments but he’s not.  He’s just completely delusional.