First Time Playthrough of Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow – Erin Plays

I’ve been putting this off but let’s just get through this.  It’s not like I’m going to watch the whole two hours anyway.  It will be ten minutes at best.

0:15 – “I’ve never played this before.”

You don’t say.

“I’m totally open for suggestions, tips, et cetera but just please keep it chill.  Don’t get angry if I don’t know everything because I haven’t played this before.”

So you’ve said.

“If I’m not super fast with equipping or knowing how to use items and everything, just bear with me.”

Why doesn’t she just play the game beforehand?  For like an hour?  That’s it.  That’s all she has to do.  Play the game for an hour before you do the stream.  Then you’ll know what you’re doing and you won’t get stressed out by the horntards explaining stuff to you.

And why does she get stressed out by that anyway?  

1:30 She reads the scrolling text of the intro but can’t keep up because she’s an idiot.

2:15 – She’s at the name select screen.  “I’ll put my name in.  No funny business.”

She always says this.  And the reason that she never puts a funny name in is because she has absolutely no personality.  

“I’ll put a skull by my name.  That’s cute.  Look at that skull.  That’s adorable.”

What a fucking moron.

2:30 – “Thank you Hungry Goriya for subscribing for 23 months.”

Wow.  When does the hot lesbian action start with these two?  That’s obviously why Horny Goriya gives Erin money.  Maybe this can be Patreon-exclusive content.  Or OnlyFans.  A “collab”, if you will.

3:00 – Erin does god awful voice acting for these characters.  This is some of that delightful female comedy that the world loves.

5:30 – She’s reading from the chat.  “Did I watch Castlevania on Netflix in it’s entirety?”

Anyone want to field this one?  No.  Fucking of course she didn’t.  She doesn’t do ANYTHING and she’s certainly not interested in fucking video game adaptation tv shows.  She’s not interested in Castlevania either.  This is all a scam, you fucking retards.

She claims to have watched the first season.  Uh huh.  I’ll bet.

 And this is all coming from a big Castlevania fan, by the way.  Or so she wants the horntards to believe.

“I couldn’t really get into it.  Maybe I’ll give it another chance some day.”

Well, it is about a video game series.  I can see why it didn’t appeal.  

6:15 – Erin gets hit by the first fucking enemy.  This is unbelievable.  She doesn’t even know the controls.  Why didn’t she take time to learn this sort of shit BEFORE the stream?

Some horntard told her that she should farm the first little section on this level.  Is she really going to do this?  She’s just going to sit here and kill the same enemies over and over again?  And anyway, she’s really struggling with these enemies.  This is awful.  Nobody wants to watch this.

6:45 – “I’m getting hit a lot.  Should I come back here?”

No.  Just learn the fucking controls.  And if you’re getting hit by the first enemies, what hope do you have with the later enemies?

7:15 – “Thank you, Sergio”. 

He must have said that her hair is really pretty today or something.  That’s his usual compliment.  It’s safe to compliment hair.  Riskier compliments involve the boobs or ass or anything to do with the body, really.

The chat told her to farm and she doesn’t want to but she said that she’s going to do it anyway.  But she’s not.  She’s going through the level.  I don’t think that she knows what “farming” is.

8:00 – “I like that background.”

Riveting stuff, Erin.  When does the hue discussion begin?

8:15 – “I like how these guys walk.”

Then she laughs.  This is comedy in her mind.  Just pointing out stuff.  “Cute” walk animations, for example.  

9:00 – “A little bit, Sergio.  Thank you.”

He must have asked if her hands are feeling better.  Somebody else made a similar comment.  They’ve now been conditioned to ask her about her hands.  They’re fucking morons.  There is nothing wrong with her hands.  It’s all a lie, as everything is with Erin.

10:45 – The chat tells her to turn off the “soul gadget”.  Erin says, “When I think of ‘gadget’, I think of (short pause) ‘Oh, look.  A free Ipad'”

Yeah, she’s all about Mike’s career.  She always expresses such deep interest in anything Mike has to say about his Youtube experience.

11:45 – “I don’t know how much to farm.  I guess until it tells me that I’ve levelled up?”

She’s so bad at this.  First of all, she’s not even farming.  She’s going through the level.  But secondly, she’s getting hit CONSTANTLY.  By these fucking level 1 easy zombies.

12:45 – “Thank you, Sergio.”

What the fuck is he constantly saying?  Go jerk off, Sergio.  This is fucking embarrassing.

By the way, the game is paused and it clearly tells you what level you’re on and how much experience you need to get to the next level.  Erin doesn’t know this.  She has no idea how any of these basic video game tropes work.

13:00 – “Kill seven more.  Okay.  I appreciate you guys keeping track because I’m a little scatter-brained right now.”

They weren’t counting the fucking zombies, you idiot.  They just read the fucking pause screen that clearly said that you need seven more points to advance to the next level.

Then she moves on.  She’s done with the “farming”  Even though she didn’t farm AT ALL.  She went through the fucking level.  And got hit repeatedly.  She would have got this much experience anyway.  She has no idea what farming is.

13:45 – “I guess that I’ll keep the cloth tunic.”

The game clearly tells you the stats of the various items.  Tunic is armour, for example, and it’s clearly the best armour that she has at the moment.  You can see it.  It tells you on the fucking pause screen.  The screen that she’s looking at right now.  But she doesn’t know anything about this because she doesn’t know anything about video games.  Not even the most basic of information like this.

15:45 – She thanks Games and Movies for subscribing at the tier 2 rate.  Let’s see how much that is.

Ten dollars.  And for anyone new here, Games and Movies is a severely retarded man.  I’m not saying that as an insult.  He’s genuinely mentally retarded.  Massively so.  He has hundreds of videos of him in Disneyland hugging the costumed characters.  And most of his comments on Youtube consist only of “HUGS!”

Erin is taking money from this guy.

16:15 – Erin says that she played this game briefly before streaming just to get a feel of things.  That’s shocking.  There is absolutely no way.  She knows nothing whatsoever about the game.

18:15 – “Am I excited for Thanksgiving?  Sure.  I like stuffing so I’m excited to eat stuffing.”

She seemed really annoyed by the question.  What is Thanksgiving going to be like at the Matei homestead?  Is Erin going to make a delicious stuffed turkey with all the trimmings?  I want to see homemade cranberry sauce, none of that canned shit.  Maybe a pumpkin pie.  

I wouldn’t be surprised if they don’t do anything.  I don’t think that Erin cooks.  The only thing we know she cooks is Kraft macaroni and cheese with two packets of cheese.

Maybe they just get some food delivered.  Whatever is open on Thanksgiving.  Chinese food, for example.  

And it’s not even that I blame them.  It’s just the two of them.  Why would they make a big deal about Thanksgiving?  Maybe they’re going to one or the other’s family.

18:45 – “That’s cool, Games and Movies.”

Let’s see what he said.  I’m intrigued.  What could severely mentally impaired Games and Movies possibly have said that was so cool?  Of course, “That’s cool” is Erin’s only response to anything that anyone says.

“Saw Disneyland is all Christmas stuff now in November”

“I am going back to Disneyland Next Month should I take my Keyblade again”

So when she said, “That’s cool”, that didn’t even answer his fucking question.  And it seems that all that he talks about is Disneyland.

He brought this “keyblade” with him during a previous visit and took some videos with the costumed characters while holding it.  Even I know this.  I know more about this guy than Erin does.  He’s not even paying me.

I’m not here to dunk on the mentally retarded but this is who she’s talking to:


It’s completely unethical.  He can’t even dress himself.  She’s taking ten dollars a month from this guy.  She’s pretending to be this guy’s friend.  It’s fucking disgusting.

20:00 – She’s hitting the walls.  “I don’t remember if there’s wall meat, really, in these.”

How could she not remember?  She never fucking played the game before.

She’s going back through the level, by the way.  I have no idea why.  She’s looking for a save spot location but it wouldn’t be this far back.

21:00 – Some horntard asks her what her least favourite Castlevania game is.  She’s just racking her brain thinking of which games she played, on stream, for money.  Once.  And then never again.  She can’t even remember the names of these games.  Any of them.

“That one with Sonya.  On my god, I always forget what that one’s called.”

She loves saying “always” and “forget” in totally inappropriate situations.  She’s not forgetting.  She doesn’t know because only played the game one fucking time.  On stream, for money.  And how often is this topic coming up to the point where she says “always”?  

The horntards had to “remind” her of the name of this game that she played once, on stream, for money.

22:15 – “Which way should I go?  See, there’s so many ways to go.”

No.  It’s largely linear.  And you’re clearly going back the way you came from.  I have no idea why.  

Isn’t there also a map?

“Oh wait.  This is where we came from, right?”

Yes.  Why are you doing this?  She’s such a fucking moron.  She should be hanging out with Games and Movies at Disneyland with her “keyblade”.  Hugging the costumed characters.  While drooling.

24:45 – A horntard mentions her “hoodie” and Erin says, “Yeah, I’m wearing my Hello Kitty hoodie.”

She’s a big Sanrio fan, guys.  Let me check the archives.  I remember her demonstrating a complete lack of knowledge about the characters before.

I’m not seeing it, but for her birthday last year, Mike bought her a $500 Hello Kitty Dreamcast.  She hasn’t touched that thing since.

So now she found the save spot but she’s still going backwards.  Why?  She doesn’t have the slightest idea what she’s doing.  She doesn’t know how video games work.

By the way, she has a projectile attack that uses mana but she never uses this attack.  And she doesn’t understand the concept of mana.  It’s the green bar in the game.  So you can use this projectile attack, it will take a bit of your mana away, and the mana regenerates fairly quickly.  

Erin doesn’t know any of this, which makes the game considerably more difficult.

26:00 – She’s at the boss.  She used the projectile once but I think it was accidental.

27:00 – She beats the easy level 1 boss (barely) and then keeps hitting the motionless remains of the boss, apparently thinking that this might do something.

“So I’m trying to think.  Should I go backwards and go to that save or keep going right?”

She has no idea how video games work.  You don’t go back to the previous level’s save, you fucking moron.  There’s likely to be a save coming up.  And I’d be surprised if you even can go back to the previous level’s save.

27:15 – “Wait, was that skull moving?”

She’s attacking the motionless remains of the boss again.  She’s a fucking moron.

27:30 – “I’m going to be brave and go to the right.  Do you guys really think that there’s a save coming up soon?”

This is what the horntards must have been telling her.  Yes, Erin.  This is how video games work.  

28:00 – Then there’s a save in the next screen.  As one would expect.  One who plays video games, anyway.

She doesn’t know how to save.  She’s pressing all of the buttons and failing.  

The horntards tell her that you have to press up.

That’s enough for me.  Let me just look at some random spots.  I think that she talks about her carpal tunnel syndrome because I skimmed this video before but I don’t want to hunt for it.

59:45 – “I don’t know what to do.”

It’s basically this ANYWHERE in the video.  I’m just skipping around randomly and everywhere I stop, Erin doesn’t know what she’s doing.  

1:15:15 – “Should I use potion or coffee?”

You can read the description under each item.  Potion gives you 100 HP.  Coffee seems to do nothing.  Erin is low on health.  She can’t decide between these two.  She’s not reading the description because she doesn’t know how video games work.  Even if she read that, she wouldn’t understand.  She doesn’t know what “HP” is.  She has no idea what she’s looking at.

“Now where the hell am I going?  I don’t know.”

It’s this for the entire video.

1:21:00 – “Yeah, this is really fun.  I’m so glad that I’m finally playing it.”

Oh sure.  It looks like like she’s having a blast.  Playing this game that she has no idea what’s going on for a bunch of horny retards.  She’s getting $6,900/year for this.

1:46:30 – “I forget they can climb stairs.”

Uh huh.  “Forgot”.

1:47:40 – “So first thought.  I love this.  I’m having so much fun.”

Uh huh.

“I’m so happy that I like this game.”

Oh, we’re happy for you, Erin.  I’m like those idiots on Reddit who say that they like it when James looks happy in his videos.  

“I would totally keep going if I didn’t have to worry about hand pain.”

But you don’t.  This is all made up bullshit, Erin.  Many doctors have told you this already.  In fact, not a single doctor has EVER told you that your hand pain is real.  It’s all lies.  

Alternatively, if this is real (which it isn’t) Erin should quit immediately.  Stop making the videos.  It’s not worth it.  $6,900/year to destroy your hands?  That’s the value that Erin places on her hands? 

This is how she ends every steam now.  Every stream ends with her talking about her crippling hand pain.  It’s ridiculous.  

Oh my god.  I was going to do a separate post on this but…actually, have I already done an article on Games and Movies?  No.  Oh, thank god.  

Anyway, I’ll just stick this here as some bonus “content” because I’d feel awful making a whole article on him.

He actually has a Twitter.  When I first saw this, I thought, “How is this possible?  He can write?”  But I suppose that he’s writing comments in Erin’s chat so of course he can write.

I won’t copy and paste the description but we can all see it.  What the fuck?  He writes much better in Erin’s chat.  Why is his description so bad?

Most of his tweets are just counting down the days until his next trip to Disneyland.  “30 days until I’ll be going back to Disneyland”, “29 days until I’ll be going back to Disneyland” et cetera and he’ll post a picture of him with a costumed Disney character along with this countdown.

Here he is with Pocahontas.

That’s one foxy lady.  And if she’s with a guy like Games and Movies, maybe I have a shot.

He’s also with the queen from Sleeping Beauty.

She doesn’t do it for me.  Lose the attitude, bitch.

Here he is doing a hadouken with some unknown European nobility.

Have hadoukens featured in any of the Disney princess movies?  I haven’t seen many of them.  But yeah, I’m passing on those ladies too.

Here’s a red haired woman.  Ariel from The Little Mermaid?

I’m not interested in any fish women.

He retweets a number of weird tweets about erotic furry art and amateurs dressed as anime girls.  These are almost certainly guys dressed as these anime girls, which adds another bizarre layer to this.

Here’s Minnie Mouse.

I’m not into the cross-species stuff.

He re-tweets a video of Justin Silverman opening a package of Gengar shit.

Oh, he also wears a Monster Madness shirt in some of these pictures.

And he retweets EVERYTHING that Erin tweets.

He wishes Erin a happy birthday here:

She doesn’t reply.

The Brave Little Toaster?  I saw that.  Maybe even twice.  It was on tv when I was probably too old to be watching it but I liked it.

He says “Your so cute hugs” to some creepy Frenchman who dresses up as female furries.

It’s fucking gross.  Everything about this is gross.  He needs way more supervision.  Either his parents or the state or whoever is taking care of him.  He should not be pissing his money away on fake gamer grrls and he should not be corresponding with freaks who dress as anime girls and the like.

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