Cassandra McKenna is Back to Making Video Game Content

 https://www.youtube.com/c/CassandraMcKenna/videos

No more roller skating.  Too cold for that.  Maybe ice skating can be next.

Let’s see.  Which 90 second video should we start with?  How about this one:

The Last Campfire – Nintendo Switch – First Time Playing – Video Game Review – Short Video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmksJAlLECk

It was just a boring review.  

Well, I’m not deterred.  

Wait a minute.  I’m looking at these thumbnails and I see what the problem is with these new videos.  She doesn’t appear in any of them.  Voice only.  HornyGoriya style.  

How are we supposed to jerk off to this?  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XoreD-n6G3M

Here’s one where she just recorded footage of her playing Pac-Man 99 for four minutes.  Not even a voiceover.  And for some reason, the title includes one of Erin’s favourite games: WANPAKU GRAFFITI but there’s no such footage in this video.  I don’t know why it says that.

Fuck.  This is boring.  Let me check out her Twitter.

https://twitter.com/RetroUnderrated

It’s mostly video game shit and re-tweets of stuff that apparently makes her *nostalgic*.  But here are some cookies that her father baked for her:

https://twitter.com/RetroUnderrated/status/1459352493704499202

Good for him.  They look like just stuff you get from a tube, though.  That Pillsbury cookie dough.  

I don’t know if it’s a generational thing or maybe I just appreciate the finer things in life now but I was talking to my mother a while ago about some brownies that I made.  And I didn’t make them from a box, this was all from scratch.  She tried to argue that box-made brownies are labour-intensive too because you need to add eggs and maybe something else but when I gave the list of ingredients that I used for these brownies, she conceded that it’s much more work.

It’s the same with chili.  She always used that pre-mixed spice whereas I use individual spices to get the right flavour.

It was the same when I was a kid.  She was a lazy cook.  And just lazy generally.  

What was she doing that was so time-consuming?  She didn’t have a job.  

I have a job, albeit, effectively part-time, and I have nothing but time on my hands.  

I know that back then there wasn’t the internet but there were fucking cook books.  And she had them.  She had plenty of cook books.  There’s no excuse for this.  Looking up a recipe on the internet and following the directions is no more or less difficult than doing so with a cook book.  

I remember as a kid, I had a friend and we always had to be quiet in their house because their mother was sleeping.  It wasn’t until years later when I realised why this was.  This woman was deeply depressed.  

I understand that you’re living in a shitty town and you have a shitty job and your husband left you but you have children to raise.  Get it together.  Homecooked meals every day.  It’s not difficult.

Why did I eat so many of these shitty TV Dinners?  That shit is inedible.  And when I would raise my complaints, “Why are we eating this stuff?  Are we poor?” my mother would say, “No.  These are expensive.”

She was right.  This wasn’t about saving money.  This was about her being lazy and not wanting to cook.  For what she spent on these TV Dinners, we could have had a decent homecooked meal.

It’s not even difficult.  Take these brownies, for example.  It’s like 30 minutes of prep time.  You put all of the shit in the bowl, you mix it, you pour it into a pan, and then you put it in the oven.  That’s it.  

And I don’t even have any tools to make this easier like an electric mixer or anything.  I just have a wooden spoon.  That’s all you need.  My mother had all of the tools and she still didn’t cook.

She sat there and watched trash talk shows for 10 hours a day.  This was her “job”.  Joan Rivers would have the “Club Kids” on.  Paul the Pee Drinker (the name of a real Club Kid) and his friends.  This was her idea of parenting.

It boggles the mind.  It’s these lazy fucking hippies.  “Oh waaah.  I’m depressed.  I’m going to do nothing for the next 40 years.”  And then she wonders why I don’t call.

So that was Cassandra McKenna and her lazy as fuck videos.  Go get a job, Cassandra.  And experience the joy of cooking, if you haven’t already.  What about a cooking channel?  Try that next.  Roller skating and video games don’t seem to be working.

2 thoughts on “Cassandra McKenna is Back to Making Video Game Content

  1. Whenever I talk about cooking with my mother she always has to counter everything I did with how it was wrong or I can get cheaper ingredients elsewhere.”Oh you bought a salad from Morrisons? Don't do that, they're selling them for 98p at Aldi!”Yes because I really want to drive miles out of my fucking way to save literal pennies on shit.

  2. Oh yeah. I stick to the mid-range grocery stores or better. Sainsbury's and Morrisons are my bottom limit. I'll go to Tesco if it's only grocery store in the area or the situation somehow demands it but I try to avoid Tesco. Further up, you have Marks & Spencer's. The prices are moderately higher but the quality of the food is vastly superior so it's worth the extra money. When I lived in London, I had a Waitrose nearby that I'd go to and same situation.Aldi, Asda, there's no way. It's absolute rock bottom. The food is trash, the customers are shady, the employees are an abomination. Who needs it? Even if it the food was on par with other grocery stores, which it isn't, the shopping experience is horrendous. Iceland was also bad but I haven't seen any since I left London. It's an interesting concept anyway. Virtually nothing but frozen food. Then you have your Home Bargains and pound shops and that's too depressing to even think about.

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