https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2Oufq_YZag
1:00 – “We’re back. Hope you enjoyed that Nerd episode: The Rocketeer”.
Umm…well, hope springs eternal.
And there’s just something unsettling about this. Because you know that this was filmed weeks ago but he’s trying to make this sound like it was filmed recently. There’s a dishonesty to this.
Jimmy credits the “Rocket beer” idea to Justin. You know, that part of the video where the games were strapped to two cans of beer and this inexplicably turned into a rocket. Jimmy found that really funny. So…there’s one person on earth who did.
Oh fuck. They’re going to talk about the Rocketeer for the first few minutes. That’s fine…it makes sense…but this is…maybe I have the wrong attitude going into these things. Maybe I should just sit back and let Jimmy and the Screenwave Gang entertain.
3:30 –
Justin: Alright, it’s that time again. So if you don’t remember, this part of the podcast is Whatcha Doin? What have you been doing, James?
Jimmy: What have I been doing?
Justin: Yeah. Have you been watching anything.
Jimmy: I’ve been working on videos but if you’re talking about Whatcha Watching —
Justin: Yeah.
I’m so glad that Jimmy called Justin out on this. Justin fucked up his own segment idea. What the hell is Whatcha Doin? That’s not a thing. Why is this even a graphic?
I thought that Whatcha Doin was like an umbrella term for the Whatcha family (Whatcha Watching, Whatcha Drinking, and to a lesser extent Whatcha Reading and Whatcha…whatever the other ones were). But now Justin is saying to hell with all of those, let’s just make “Whatcha Doin” an actual segment and eschew the more specific Whatcha’s.
THIS WAS JUSTIN’S IDEA. How can Justin not remember his own fucking idea? Don’t introduce this shit and then abandon it on the third episode. The people demand Whatcha Watching, Whatcha Drinking, and whatever the third major one was. With or without the “g” at the end of the second word of these segments. Don’t give me this general bullshit of Whatcha Doin?
Fucking unbelievable. It’s like having a segment called, “So What Have You Been Up To Lately?” That’s just fucking banal chit chat that you would have with the mailman in passing. What’s next? “How’s the Weather?”
Here’s my question to Justin, Whatcha Doin With This Fucking Podcast?”
Anyway, Jimmy has been watching SpaceJam and the new SpaceJam. Whatever it’s called.
He saw it with his kids…
7:00 – I don’t know why I’m noticing this but it’s refreshing to see Justin wear a plain shirt like a normal adult. No Punisher logo or any of this stupid shit.
8:15 – Justin says, “Okay, Kieran. What have you been doing? Whatcha Playing, Watching, anything?”
No. Justin. I’m rejecting Whatcha Doin. So is Jimmy. So is everyone. That’s too broad. We had the fucking categories. YOU came up with the categories. Don’t take them away now.
11:00 – Jimmy talking about his children again.
See, here’s what I want: structure. Make this more structured. Whatcha Watching should be ONLY about what everyone has been watching. Whatcha Playing should be ONLY about what everyone has been playing. And have a new segment called Whatcha Parenting where Jimmy talks about his children.
Jimmy’s children should not be mentioned in any segment other than Whatcha Parenting. This way, I can more easily skip over it.
Anyway, Jimmy was playing Goat Simulator with his children. Hey guys! Remember that awkward as fuck James & Mike & for some reason Ryan video from like five years ago where these three people played Goat Simulator and Jimmy found the game REALLY funny for some inexplicable reason? Well, he’s still playing it. But now it’s with his kids.
Oh, and then Justin references the video. And AlphaOmegaSin was there too. I forgot about that. My mind must have blocked him from my memory as a defence mechanism.
12:00 – Kieran says, “What are you doing, Justin?”
No. Put a stop to this right now, Jimmy. Take charge. This is bullshit.
As stupid as Whatcha Watching and Whatcha Drinking and Whatcha Playing are, they at least made sense. Whatcha Doing is just…”talk about whatever the fuck you want.” If that’s the case, why even have the label? Why have this be a segment? Whatcha Doin doesn’t even make sense.
Then fucking…Justin has been collecting Gengars. Is this why he made this sudden change to the generic? Why not just start a new segment called Whatcha Collecting? Then Jimmy could talk about his poop collection, Kieran can talk about his gun collection, and you can talk about your Gengar collection.
13:00 – Jimmy says that his kids would like this Gengar toy. Justin says, “This is for grown man children only”. Pretty funny, but Jimmy steps on the joke to talk about his kids some more.
Jimmy: They like all of these props that we end up with like for the Ecco the Dolphin episode, we had that big dolphin. They saw me bringing it in and they wanted it so it was done. I just gave it to them.
Kieran: After you took a dump in it’s blowhole.
Jimmy: Yeah, they’ll never know. Well, maybe one day they’ll know what it was used for.
Kieran: It was spitting out diarrhoea .
This was pretty funny too. Jimmy gave his kids a toy that he pretended to defecate on and Kieran pointed out the absurdity of this.
14:00 – Then Jimmy tells a story about how he was trying to puncture a beer keg with a hammer and a screwdriver, in spite of the fact that Justin warned him of the obvious danger. But Jimmy, having spent seven and a half years in special education, proceeded.
15:45 – Speaking of special education, Jimmy says, “You forget when you’re underwater that you have to hold your breath.”
Oh fuck. By the way, they’re talking about particular AVGN scenes that were hard to film. Jimmy thinks that this is the sign of a good episode: if he had to put a lot of work into filming it. No, Jimmy. WRITE GOOD SCRIPTS.
By the way, these chairs are clearly too comfortable. Jimmy is regularly just rocking in the chair. You need better chairs. You’re not buying chairs to lounge around in your living room. These should be more like office chairs. Chairs that you can do a professional-looking podcast on.
17:30 – Justin talks about how he wants to get footage of a buffalo defecating on a game. He says it’s for an AVGN episode but it might just be for his personal spank bank.
Jimmy then suggests that you can just get stock footage of a buffalo defecating. Jimmy sure loves his greenscreen. And where exactly is such stock footage?
18:00 – Jimmy says, “The idea, I think it started with actually having a buffalo shit in my ear. We thought about it and I think basically it just turned out that, when we got into the details of it, it would actually be too dangerous to really do.”
So…what? Jimmy contemplated having an actual buffalo take a shit on his face? Come on. Let’s just end this whole thing here. Shut down the channel. James is completely fucked up. I don’t even want to watch this any more.
Then Justin says, “I don’t even know how you could give a buffalo diarrhoea. And Jimmy says, “Well, yeah.” They’re obviously really thinking about this. This is disgusting. Why would…I mean, we know that Jimmy REALLY likes poop. Apparently to the point where he wants large bovines to take a shit on his face. That is the single most fucked up thing I’ve ever heard of.
How the fuck was this not edited out? James Rolfe is admitting to wanting to take part in bestiality scat porn. I’ve never even heard of this. And he’s not joking. And now the Screenwave Gang are egging him on.
Jimmy says, “And I would be wearing an earplug, by the way.” Like that’s the concern. He’s literally talking about a buffalo defecating on his face. This is not a joke. This is what he wants to happen. This is his ultimate fantasy. He’s given this a lot of thought. They’ve contacted farmers about this.
22:00 – Jimmy says, in reference to how the podcast is just about “whatever” that, “I know my audience so I know what people are interested in.”
No. Jimmy does not have a clue what the audience wants. The audience does not want scat porn. The audience does not want constant shit half-jokes. The audience does not want greenscreen-heavy AVGN episodes. The audience does not want your stupid lore. The audience does not your novelty Youtube band. And the audience does not want this meandering podcast.
22:15 – Kieran starts singing a jingle for a local farm. Some of that rural Pennsylvania humour, I guess.
God, I really don’t want to watch any more of this. I keep thinking about Jimmy literally wanting a buffalo to shit on his face. And this is in the fucking podcast. HOW COULD ANYBODY THINK THAT THIS IS A GOOD IDEA?
As far as I’m concerned, Jimmy’s career is over. It has to be. This is going to be on the fucking news. James Rolfe: The Angry Video Game Nerd, attempts to arrange for a buffalo to defecate on his face. Full story at 10:00.
23:00 – Now Jimmy is talking about the first “swear” that he learned. It was “shit”. “My grandmother taught me it. And she taught me on purpose, actually.”
He just can’t get enough. He LOVES faeces. Why is this fucking happening? Why was this video released? This is the sort of thing that people would use for blackmail. “If you don’t give me $100,000 I’m going to release that podcast where you talk obsessively about your scat fetish.”
They just fucking released this. They think that this is normal.
“She took us to a farm one time and the pigs were shitting all over and she was just like, ‘Oh, look at the pigs shit. They roll in their shit.’ And we started using it.”
This is disgusting. Jimmy is talking lovingly about multigenerational scat fetishists in his family. This is…I mean…incestual bestiality scat? How much lower can we get?
Justin released this video. He didn’t see any problem with any of this. What in the name of fuck is his problem? How can he be this fucking stupid? This is the end of James Rolfe. This is all done. The podcast is over. AVGN is done. This is the last video they’re ever going to release.
Kieran says that “shit” was also the first “swear” that he learned, and he learned it from Back to the Future. Jimmy’s eyes light up and he says that he just showed the Back to the Future trilogy to his youngest daughter. Oh my god. How….he’s going to get his daughter involved with this now?
“I showed her Jurassic Park and, “That is one big pile of shit'” and he laughs. He likes showing his children movies that have shit in them. What the fuck?
I can’t fucking believe this. This has to be it. Jimmy is going to have his children taken away. He’s not fit to be a parent. He’s fucking retarded. Big time. And he has this scat obsession that overwhelms his life.
I’m at 28:00 but I can’t even comment on anything else. I’m supposed to comment on the minutia after James Rolfe just spent about 20 minutes talking about his incestuous bestiality scat fetish? What the fuck?
I can’t. I’m at 34:00 but I’m done. I’m just blown away by this. This is the last video they’re ever going to release. How can anybody possibly watch AVGN after James Rolfe revealed what a completely sick fuck he is? This is beyond sick. He’s completely deranged.
And they just release the video like this. Nobody thinks that this might be a problem. Oh, Jimmy wants a buffalo to take a shit on his face. And we actually called farmers to enquire about this. And his grandmother had a barnyard scat fetish. And he’s passing this on to his own children.
This is okay? People think that this is okay? No. There has to be outrage over this.