Gamer Girls

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=geILc-mUhmY

So this is two and a half hours of Erin playing Doom Eternal, on stream, for money.

She originally discussed wanting to do this way back in April 2020.  These were the first blog posts that I made, I think.

https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2020/04/original-doom-practice-stream-okay-let.html

https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2020/04/doom-1-gzdoom-practice-stream-erin.html

https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2020/04/playing-some-original-doom-erin-plays.html

She played the original Doom (a modded version) in an effort to “get good” and “graduate” to Doom Eternal.  But she never managed that.  She was really, really, unbelievably bad at Doom.  She also made the remarkable confession that this was the first time that she ever played a game “with mouse and keyboard” before.  

Two and a half hours…well, let’s see how it goes.  If it’s good, I’ll do a multi-part series.  If it’s bad, I’ll quit after ten minutes.  If it’s somewhere in the middle, I’ll skip around the video looking for anything worth talking about.

0:15 – “I played this when it first came out and it’s like one of the only modern games that I’ve really….enjoyed.”

I thought that she was going to say “played”.  And she probably was.  But no.  She caught herself.  It’s one of the only modern games that she’s enjoyed.  Because she’s all about retro games.  That’s “where her hearts is.”  She only plays games on stream, for money, in case anyone is new here.

“It’s been about a year since I’ve played it.”

Yeah.  Over a year.  I mentioned the Doom streams that she was doing.  This was all just to prepare her for Doom Eternal.  She might have played it briefly, on stream, for money with Mike.  I don’t remember.  

Then she says that she probably won’t be very good at the game and she implies that it’s because she hasn’t played the game in over a year.  

First of all, if she has played this game, it was very, very briefly.  And on stream, for money.  So of course she’s not going to be good at the game.

Secondly, she has very little experience with video games AT ALL.  That’s why she’s bad at every game that she plays.  It’s not unique to Doom Eternal.

Thirdly, if you want to get better at games ACTUALLY START PLAYING VIDEO GAMES IN YOUR SPARE TIME.  

0:30 – She has a poll for the horntards to decide which “blind bag” she should open.  This is…stupid.  So she’s only going to open one of them?  What is she going to do with the other one?  Wipe her ass with it?  

The options are a cute banana bag or a Sailor Moon bag.  I just don’t get what she’s doing here.  Open both of them.  What the fuck?  What kind of idiotic chat interaction is this?  

And who cares anyway?  What do I care what’s in this bag?  

Then there’s an edit.  Let’s see what she’s hiding.

She’s talking to the chat.  Somebody says something that they’ve done.  Erin says, “That’s cool”.  That’s her usual response.

Some horntard says that he liked part 2 of her Castlevania 64 video.  Erin says, “It’s probably the most detailed review that I’ve done.”  Really.  I’ve noticed no difference between that video and her other boring as fuck videos.  In fact, that video was more boring than is typical for Erin.  I barely got through it.

That’s it.  Why bother editing this out?  Why go to the effort?

1:45 – She lacks the strength to open the bag so gets scissors.  Another edit.  

She gets the scissors, greets the horntards, and then says that she never streamed Doom Eternal but has played it in her spare time.  I’ll bet.  For how many minutes?

2:00 – She bungles the unbagging badly.  She’s holding the bag to the camera, she’s cut it open, she’s about to pull the thing out of the bag, then for whatever reason, she gets tripped up and drops her hands.  So we can’t see what was in the fucking bag.  We missed the great reveal.

Anyway, it’s Sailor Mars.  Erin says, “She’s cute”.  Great stuff, Erin.  

But now I’m curious about that banana bag.  What’s inside?  Some kind of cute anthropomorphic banana, I’d imagine, but what is he or she doing?  Or wearing?  

2:30 – “Maybe later we’ll open this one: banana cat.”

Oh.  Now THIS is going to make me watch the full two and a half hours.  It’s a banana cat.  I didn’t catch that the first time.  

Okay, so I’ve DuckDuckGo’d this now.  They’re keychains depicting semi-peeled bananas with a Japanese anime type cat face on them.  If you follow.  The tagline is “the cat who lives in a banana.”  There seem to be four possibilities but they all look the same to me.  Maybe that’s racist.  I’m being racist to Japanese anime cat bananas.

Then there’s another edit.  

Some horntard gave her money and said that she’s his third favourite streamer.  She makes a face at this and says, “At least I’m in the top ten.”

What an ego.  Erin, who makes complete dog shit streams, thinks that she’s deserving to be people’s favourite streamer.  

He also says that she’s the most beautiful streamer and she says, “I don’t know about that but thank you for being honest…about the favourite streamer part.”  She’s still annoyed that the guy said that she’s his third favourite streamer.

Then other horntards say that she’s their favourite streamer.

She says that this isn’t on the “new X-Box”.  “What’s it called?  I always forget what it’s called.”

Yet another example of Erin “always” “forgetting” something related to video games. 

Now we’re back to the Youtube version.  

3:15 – Wow.  This is bad.  She’s at the beginning of the game and she’ll look at an enemy, line him up, take another second to make sure that he’s in her sights, and then shoot.  

Also, why is she playing this on a console?  Everyone knows that first person shooters are better played “with mouse and keyboard.”  I don’t even know how these games work on consoles.  I’ve never played a first person shooter on a console.  But my understanding is there’s some kind of aimbot that assists you.  That’s probably why she’s playing a console version.

3:30 – Okay.  So she killed the three zombies or whatever, then she tries to open a door but it was just her secondary attack.  She elbowed the door instead.  Then she looks around this SINGLE ROOM and says, “Did I do something wrong?”

She’s stuck in the first fucking room of the game.  Please explain to me how she could have possibly played this game before.  Or ANY game.  Of ANY genre.  

How is it possible that somebody could get stuck in the first room of the game?  Even if you’ve never played it before.  If that door is supposed to open, she obviously pressed the wrong button.  It’s just unbelievable.  Go back there and press all of the fucking buttons.

“Did I come in the wrong way?”

She’s already lost.  She’s lost in the first fucking room of the game.  How the fuck did she play this before?  It’s impossible.  It’s just more insane, ridiculous, obvious lies from her.

Then it turned out that she had to kill another guy.  But…that wasn’t actually the problem.  She wasn’t trapped in the first place.  She just didn’t explore the area.  She was running around in circles.  In the first fucking room.  In this game that she says she played before.

4:00 – “I’m playing this on X-Box because I really like how the controller feels.”

Plus, the aimbot.  Plus, she has almost no experience playing games “with mouse and keyboard”.

“I pay a lot more attention to controllers now, like how they feel, since I have such…umm…hand problems.”

Shout out to her fake carpal tunnel syndrome.

4:15 – Okay, we got the chainsaw.  It’s always fun.”

She’s never seen this before.  She never got this far in the game before.  

4:30 – After you get the chainsaw, a little tutorial plays, showing you how to use it.  Erin says, “I like this because they like let you have little demos to learn how to use it.  So I like that.”

So all this tutorial did was show you how to change weapons.  Specifically, how to change to the chainsaw.  You press “X”.  

Now there are three like dummy zombies for you to practice this on.  This is all part of the tutorial.  Erin doesn’t know what the fuck she’s supposed to do here.  She jumps and then just presses all of the buttons and then by brute force, she figures out what button she was supposed to press.

The game just fucking started.  She’s playing the tutorial.  And she doesn’t know what she’s doing.  Even when the tutorial told her exactly what to do not two seconds earlier.

5:00 – Then she starts looking for a “secret”.  “Isn’t there a secret here?  Like you get a little action figure?”

You tell us, Erin.  You’ve played this before.  Allegedly.

Then she immediately gives up and says, “No?  Okay, maybe it’s somewhere else.  Well, whatever.”

5:45 – Then she’s lost again.  “Chill out, Erin.  Which way are you going?”

She’s on the first fucking level.  The tutorial level.  Of this game that she says she’s played before.  There’s only way to go.  It’s completely linear.  

Then she goes back to where she started.  How is it fucking possible that she’s played this before?  Why is the chat not rioting?  

6:00 – “See, I’m too honest.  I’m telling you that I’m nervous to stream this because I don’t really stream newer games.”

Oh yeah.  Erin is “too honest.”  

Maybe Erin can in all honesty explain to us how it’s possible to get lost in the first level of a game that she’s played before.  It’s nothing to do with playing the game, on stream, for money.  ANYONE would be able to navigate this level without any difficulty, on stream or off stream.  Even if they’ve never played it before.  

How is it remotely possible that she’s played this before?  

You had to punch something.  You had to punch a wall.  I guess.  Erin didn’t know this.  Even though a tutorial popped up when you got near this breakaway wall.  How did Erin not know that this is what you’re supposed to do?  She’s played this before.  Or so she says.  THIS IS THE FIRST FUCKING LEVEL OF THE GAME.

And when the tutorial for “punchable walls” came up, Erin said, “Punchable Lunchable.”  Hey guys!  Remember Lunchables?  

I do, Erin.  I remember them.  Now focus on what you’re doing.  Show us what a pro you are at this game.  At least get through the fucking tutorial level.

6:15 – “Oh, that’s why it didn’t work.  I didn’t have the double jump yet.”  This was another tutorial.  She didn’t know about this double jump thing.  From the tutorial level.  In spite of the fact that she’s played the game before.

7:00 – “Sorry, I’ll look at the chat.  I just got into this.  (reads)  I do like this game.  It’s really fun.  It’s like I said earlier, it’s really like one of the only modern games that I’ve really enjoyed.”

Oh sure.  You’re a real pro, Erin.  You’ve clearly put a lot of time into this.

How can she possibly expect anyone to believe this?  All she does is lie.  Everything she says is a lie.  

7:15 – “I played this when it came out.  I didn’t get super far in it.”

She didn’t get past the first fucking room of the first fucking level.  How far is she actually claiming she got to?  Because so far, absolutely everything has been a surprise to her.  Everything has been a struggle.

“But I did play it when it came out.”

For how long?  Seconds?  It’s probably literally a matter of seconds that she played this game.  And she has the audacity to sit there and say that she not only played the game before but that she LIKES it.  It’s the only modern game that she likes.  And look at this.  Look at this fucking gameplay.  She doesn’t have the foggiest idea what’s going on.  She got lost in the first fucking room.  

8:00 – “How would I rate it?  Well, I’ve only played like Doom II, Doom 64, stuff like that.  Like it’s totally different from Doom II.”

Well, obviously.  But how do you rate it?  Compare it to other first person shooters.  You’ve played other first person shooters, right?  

Of course she hasn’t.  And she only played those games on stream, for money.  And it wasn’t even Doom II that she played.  It was Ultimate Doom, which, from my understanding, is an expansion for the original Doom.  It added levels.  And then she added a mod to it called GDoom or something that lets you look around and aim using the mouse.

“Like I would play like Brutal Doom and stuff and I really liked those.”

I don’t think that she’s played Brutal Doom.  Show me the stream.  Mike streamed it, though.  That’s how she knows about it.

She thinks that what she played before, in the links that I’ve provided, from over a year ago, were Doom II and/or Brutal Doom.  She doesn’t even know what any of this is.  She doesn’t know what a mod is or all of these expansions and shit.  I don’t even know what they are and I’ve played the fucking games.  There’s loads of this shit.  

I played Final Doom as a kid.  Which one is Final Doom?  I have no fucking idea.  It’s something.  

“I like it.  I can’t really…ummm…compare it to that.”

Why not?  I haven’t played Doom Eternal but I’ll compare it to the older Doom games.  It sucks ass.  I don’t want to play this shit.  I don’t even want to play the original Doom.  Or whatever I had.  They all look the same.

8:45 – Then she mentions some modern games that she allegedly likes (upon the prompting of the horntards, who had to remind her what games she likes) and then she says, “I don’t know.  I just like my retro games.  I’m sorry.”

What proof exists for Erin liking retro games?  Every fucking game, “I’ve never played this before.”  Or on the few occasions where she says that she has played the game before, she knows absolutely nothing about the game and gets completely lost on the first fucking level.  Just like she’s done here.  Everything is a surprise to her.  Everything is new.  

“I don’t know a lot about Dragonball.  I’m sorry.”

Maybe that can be her next fake interest.  The horntards are really into Dragonball, Erin.  Watch a few episodes.  Then make a video about it.  Maybe buy some of the toys.  Put them on your shitty shelf next to Skeletor.

After she misses a few zombies, really, really badly, she says, “This game is really satisfying to play.”

Yeah…

Is she even going to get through the first level?  I don’t want to watch this any more.  I’m at ten minutes.  That’s enough.

10:00 – She takes loads of damage from these level one enemies.  “One thing I got to get better at is looking around and moving a lot more than I move.”

Umm…I don’t even know what she’s saying.  But I’m not sure if that’s the problem.  You suck, Erin.  Work on that.  Try to suck less.

She keeps going back and forth over this bridge and I think that enemies are respawning.  And she just keeps missing her shots and taking more and more damage.  Why is she just pacing up and down this bridge?  Go find the fucking exit.

“Like I said, it’s been a year since I’ve played this so I’m not going to be too hard on myself.”

She’s clearly never played this AT ALL.  But if she’s afraid that she’s merely a bit rusty, why didn’t she play the game a bit before she streamed it?  You know…in her spare time.  Like a normal person.  A normal person who enjoys video games.

10:30 – She’s lost again.  She just keeps going back and forth to the same place.  I have no idea why.

God, this has to be the worst Doom Eternal footage ever recorded.

11:30 – “Low ammo?  Well, we better find some.”

So she retraces her steps yet again.  It’s ridiculous.  She has no idea how to play the game.  

“I know there’s ammo here unless I already got it all.”

Unbelievable.  She’s been in the same little room for ages now.

12:00 – “Am I going the right way?  I’m not going the right way.”

Are there even levels in this game?  I just want to watch her get through the first level.  But not if it’s going to take an age.  

And just look at this fucking game.  How many women would want to play something like this?  You’re in a gritty, zombie-filled space station or something.  There’s nothing “cute” about this.  Why the fuck would Erin play this?  Erin has absolutely no interest in this.  I can’t imagine ANY woman wanting to play this.  I can’t think of many adult men who would want to play this.  This is a game for 14 year old boys.  

“That’s why I’m telling you that I’m nervous because then you’ll be like, ‘Why can’t she get her surroundings?’ and I’m like, ‘I’m nervous.  My nerves are getting to me'”

That does not even come close to explaining what I’m seeing here.  This is somebody who says that she’s played the game before.  Can you not navigate the tutorial level?  

12:30 – She finally starts going in the right direction and she says, “This part’s funny.”

So she has seen this before.  Apparently.  In some capacity.  At least once.  Maybe somebody else’s playthrough.  Maybe she saw Mike playing the game.  Mike streamed this, by the way.

12:45 – “That’s right.  You do get ammo from chainsawing the monster.  Yeah, that’s right.”

She was reading from the chat.  So why was she looking for ammo?  This was also in the tutorial.  The tutorial explained this.  So instead of looking for ammo, why didn’t she just look for an enemy and do a “glory kill” or whatever it is?  You apparently get ammo from that.  Because she didn’t know about this.

13:15 – So I think that’s the first level over.  She killed the guy.  I don’t know.  There wasn’t a boss fight, it was just a cut scene.  

That’s as much as I can do.  This is some real shit.  She has no clue what she’s doing.  This is absolutely atrocious gameplay.  

There’s also a fucking map.  I guess that Erin “forgot” about the map.  She “always” “forgets” about the map.

Two and a half fucking hours of this.  How can anyone do it?  And you have ShiShi and the gang jerking off over this.  “Oh yeah.   This is a real gamer!  A hot gamer grrl!  She plays Doom!  I want to shoot my space marine jizz in her face!”  Complete fucking retards.

– “You did great for not having played this in a while. I need to finish it myself. I got to the final boss but I just never finished it.”

Are you out of your fucking mind?  First of all, he’s enabling her lies about having played this before.  Secondly, what part of this was at all “great”?  Do you mean the part where she got lost in the very first room of the game?