Gamer Girls

 https://www.tiktok.com/@erinplays87

I assumed that she gave up on this and…she kind of did.  But she’s still putting up some REALLY half-assed “content”.

https://www.tiktok.com/@erinplays87/video/6967926772713180422?

This was taken when she was in her parents’ home.  She shows off some Hello Kitty shit that she has.  For like seven seconds.  And then the video just cuts off mid-word.

https://www.tiktok.com/@erinplays87/video/6967955609236802821?

This is part 1 in a two part series where she puts money into some kind of Sailor Moon capsule machine.  I assume that this was taken somewhere in California too.  She says that she used to use these machines as a child.  I…guess that these machines still exist.

So part 1 just shows the machines and her putting the tokens in them.  I don’t know why the machines take tokens as opposed to quarters.  I don’t know where these machines are located.  Where do you get the tokens?  She doesn’t explain anything.

https://www.tiktok.com/@erinplays87/video/6967959278430719237?

The thrilling conclusion.  

“So I’m new to TikTok and I opened all of these and I made it really cute and then I accidentally deleted the video and I don’t know how to get it back but anyway…”

Then she goes on to show what she got from these capsules.  “I got this and this and a little cinnamon roll that I need to put together but it’s –” and the video cuts out.

She really paints a picture.  What the fuck is this shit?  She doesn’t even know.  It’s some kind of…I don’t know…hair barrette?  Maybe it’s just nothing.  Maybe it’s just decorative.

The other item is some kind of little bag, I guess.

And I don’t know what the cinnamon roll is or why she described it as such.

Holy shit.  This is so bad.  

It’s not going to work, Erin.  You put absolutely no effort into this shit, as usual.  

TikTok is for doing stupid song and dance routines.  Let’s see it.  What are the trending dances right now?  Let me look this up.

Umm…god, this is even more stupid than I was anticipating.  Let me search for Britney Spears songs.  Maybe that would help.

Here we go:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOuiuH1ii74

That girl shows you how to do some dance for Britney Spears’ hit Gimme More.  I never heard of it, but I’m sure it was all the rage.

So yeah, this girl shows you exactly how to do the dance.  The difficulty is that she doesn’t show you the end result.  But I found a compilation.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_sVW0Dma30

Now imagine Erin doing this.  In a bikini and fishnet stockings.  Shaking her ass.  You’re telling me that that wouldn’t get views?  ShiShi would lose his mind.

I think that it’s intended to be a duet.  According to the comments, the girls at 3:48 created the dance.  

Well, no problem.  Get Mike involved.  Put him in a little crop top and some booty shorts.  

It would get a million views.  

Why not?  She’s obviously desperate for views.  This would get them.  Just learn the fucking dance and take the time to create a COMPETENT video.  If you fuck up, DO IT AGAIN.  Don’t just release the first attempt.  Get it right, make sure it looks good, and then release the video.  Put the time in.  You have nothing else to do.  So do it right.  

Obviously, it would be embarrassing.  But what dignity does Ern even have at this point?  

And I wouldn’t have any problem with it.  It would be hilarious, of course, but she’d be using the platform appropriately.  This is what TikTok is for.  Not these fucking shitty seven second Sailor Moon collection videos.  .

None of these gamer grrls do anything new and interesting.  I suppose that Madam Fomo has tried a few different things: try on hauls, cosplay, softcore porn but those ideas were all terrible.   And Bobdunga is trying new things.  

But everyone else: same old shit over and over and over again.  It’s all so formulaic.  Why not mix things up?  Try something new.  

A video of Erin and Mike shaking their ass to a Britney Spears song.  If done right, it would take off.  And then suddenly, they’re getting a huge influx of new viewers to their Youtube channels.  

Or maybe the video would become so popular that they’d say to hell with Youtube and make dance videos on TikTok full time.  

I think it would be good.  Maybe it would be something that Erin actually likes doing.  She could even come up with her own dances.  Do some dances to some Sailor Moon songs.  Or the fucking Match Game theme song.  She could dress up as Patti Deutsch and do some funky 70s dance number.