Wonder Boy in Monster World review (Sega Genesis) – Cannot be Tamed


Hey guys!  Remember Wonder Boy in Monster World.

I do not.  But I did rent Wonder Boy III once as a kid and I really liked it.  It was from some weird store that rented TurboGrafx games.  I never bought it, though.  The whole idea that people would rent games and then buy games that they liked is a myth.  You would just buy whatever was in the store and base your purchasing decision on the screenshots on the back of the box.  

1:00 – “My first impression of the game is it is very cute.”

Earlier in the review, she mentioned that the game is “adorable”.  She must be taking notes from Erin Plays videos.  Maybe Pam will be sitting on the floor and wearing fishnet stockings in an upcoming video.

8:30 – “One thing that really sticks out about Wonder Boy is how adorable everything is.”

Yeah.  We know.  This is the like the tenth time that she mentioned this.  We get it.  The game has “cute” graphics.  Who cares?  

You can mention it once, I guess, but ten times?

So that’s the video.  She thought the game was okay and cute.  Super.

– “The sprites in Wonder Boy look adorable.”

Ummm…yeah, did you watch the video?  Pam mentioned that a time or two.

– “No, you’re adorable”

Go masturbate.

Speaking of which, NewWaveJunkie left a reply:

– “Charming is the perfect word to describe this game. I’m enjoying your Genesis reviews since it’s not a console I grew up with or have taken the time to explore (yet). Great work as always!”

Uh huh.  How’s your wife doing?  She’s okay with all of this?

– “I got a refund on my ps2. I plan on getting the 5th edition dnd books. I would like to be a high elf warlock.”

Is this referencing something?  A “meme” or something?

– “Great seeing this live”

Oh, that’s right.  Pam “premiered” this video.  Unfortunately, I had other commitments.  

– “Goodnight you a pretty!”

This is a little short and Pam isn’t doing anything interesting on Twitter either.

What about monetising the blog?  GamerGrrls has been getting record numbers of hits the past few months.  Google promotes AdSense in the blog tools.  How much do they pay?

“You probably know that making money from a blog or website is a very lucrative proposition.”


“You can earn $100, $200, or even $1,000 a day using Google Adsense from a home office.”

Come on.  How about a non-bullshit answer?  This was the first fucking result on my search.  Clearly a scam.

What the fuck?  The calculator on the AdSense website doesn’t even go low enough for the number of views that I’m getting.  Not even close.  But if I were to get 50,000 views a month, I could make $2,600/year.  Well…maybe when I’m getting 50,000 views a month, I’ll consider that.

All of these results are so fucking old.  Nobody is monetising blogs any more.  Nobody has blogs any more.

There’s apparently a different company that you can use if you’re getting 10,000 hits a month.  That’s closer to where I’m at.  That’s obtainable.  But where are the figures?  Why is everybody so secretive?  

Oh.  Somebody says $8 per thousand hits.

So…let’s say 10,000 hits a month.  That’s $80.  Would it be worth monetising for $80/month?  

I mean, there’s the whole issue of putting ads on the site detracting from how the site looks but who isn’t using AdBlock?  The people not using AdBlock clearly don’t mind the ads.  

But $80/month…is it worth the hassle?  Is there even hassle involved?  I mean $80…it’s nothing but it’s twice what Retro Ali is getting from her videos.  Do I just want to throw $80/month away?

Plus, I’d have to be approved.  I mean, there’s nothing inappropriate about the site but people have different ideas on these things.  

Maybe I should hire Screenwave to handle this shit.  They can work on search engine optimisation and handle all of the finances.  Maybe they can get me some sponsors and I’ll start the article with like three paragraphs about testicle shaving.  And I’ll provide my affiliate link. 

Perhaps I could even get the full service.  Just kick back and let Kieran write this shit.  “Hey guys!  Remember poopy doody giraffe dicks?”

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