Retro Import Games & Pokemon Center Pickups! – Retro Ali

It’s just Ali doing a commercial for some company who sells shit from Japan.  She does a legitimate commercial for this company and then shows some shit that she bought from that company, so that’s a stealth commercial for the company.

Am I crazy or is Ali looking thicc?  I don’t get it.  I thought that meth made you thin.  

I don’t know.  Too many White Castles for Ali.  Getting the munchies.  Hey guys!  Remember White Castle?

Wait…maybe she’s from a Krystal area.  I can’t figure out if she’s from the Midwest or the South.  

You know who was a spokesman for White Castle?  None other than Don Adams.  Inspector Gadget himself.

I read on Wikipedia that he had a hard time finding work after Get Smart.  And his Inspector Gadget voice is basically his Get Smart voice.  I’ve never seen Get Smart so I don’t know.  

Anyway, these commercials were from the early 1990s.  Inspector Gadget ended in 1986.  So he must have been hard up for work.  Doing commercials for a regional hamburger chain.

He does his Get Smart/Inspector Gadget thing there.

A weird astronaut one there.

He’s a cowboy in this one.

Here’s a shortened version of the previous commercial because they pack in the fact that you can get 10 White Castle hamburgers for $2.99.  Holy shit.  How were they even making a profit at that price?  

How much are they now?  $5.99 in most markets, $6.99 in New York, New Jersey, and Chicago.  That’s still good but twice the price.  

I always like seeing the regional differences within the same chain.  Most White Castles had onion rings.  But I went to one in Michigan that had “onion chips” instead.  They were just like little pieces of onion, battered, and deep fried.  About half the size of a french fry.

Yeah, look at this.  I wasn’t making that up:

They give you the price of both onion rings and onion chips.  But I never saw a White Castle that offered both.

I could swear that there was a time when White Castle didn’t even offer french fries.  Can that be right?  I know that Arby’s didn’t.  They had potato cakes instead.  And even now, do Arby’s have regular fries?  I remember when they introduced curly fries and those were great, but do they have regular fries too now?  The potato cakes were also good.

Wow.  According to Reddit, they recently discontinued the potato cakes.

You can never go home again.

There’s just so much cheap food in the US.  That’s why there are so many fat bastards like Retro Ali.  

I was talking to an English guy about his recent visit to the US and all that he talked about was the food.  “I ordered breakfast and it was just a huge pile of food.  I couldn’t believe it.”  That’s all anyone talks about when they talk about going to the US.  The portion sizes of the food.

It’s true.  You can’t fucking eat all of that shit unless you’re a glutton.  But in the UK and every place in Europe that I’ve been to, they give you sensible portions.

I mean, I don’t want a fucking mountain of waffles.  I don’t want to leave the restaurant feeling sick.  Why would anyone want that?  It’s a bad experience going to a restaurant and being unable to finish the meal.

Anyway, let’s check out Ali’s Twitter.

Oh.  She likes Pokemon.  I see.  Maybe she can talk about something else for a change.

I’d also like Ali to start eating right and exercising more.  It’s in her own interests.  Aside from the obvious health benefits, her horny, mentally retarded fans are going to go elsewhere if they can’t get an erection.  Ali should be looking more like Inteleon and less like Snorlax.

4 thoughts on “Retro Import Games & Pokemon Center Pickups! – Retro Ali

  1. Generally I hit the link so I can listen while I read along. And I stopped the video to see if u noticed her weight gain as well. Only my first thought was maybe she is pregnant. I don't watch her b8ds very often. But I think she looks better with some weight. Also her voice wasn't as fast. Maybe she quit the speed? She's pausing to think and shit.

  2. if she's preggers, she may have made a note not to announce it to anyone online. this would be a crushing blow to the whole betatariat that populates the comment section in her videos and this would leave her content with an abysmal view count

  3. Her view count is already abysmal but yeah, it might decline even further were she to announce that she's pregnant.On the other hand, it might boost views. Attract the pregnancy fetishists. Even if she had a baby or five babies, I don't think that many of her “fans” would care. They'd still be interested. They'd still pretend that she's their girlfriend.

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