https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHEnUCpuyjI
She’s getting desperate with these clickbait titles. “You’ll never believe how bad this gameplay is!”.
Relax, Erin. It’s a video game. We can believe it. It’s no big deal.
0:00 – “So I’m doing another Blockbuster rentals video.”
That’s why she’s playing this. Everything has to be on stream, for money. She’s recording footage that will later be used in this upcoming horrendous Blockbuster video.
God, that first Blockbuster video was terrible even by Erin’s standards. It didn’t even make sense. She had a list of the most popular video games that Blockbuster rented and then she just did half-reviews on these games. She didn’t even play most of the games that she was “reviewing” but that’s not even what I’m taking issue with here. The format didn’t make any fucking sense.
It might as well be a list of ten random games. Who cares what Blockbuster’s most popular rentals were?
She didn’t say anything about Blockbuster. She didn’t get any of her personal experiences renting these video games at Blockbuster. Because she doesn’t have any such stories. She just reviewed the games. Kind of. I don’t know.
Then she says that she rented the Super Nintendo version of this game as a child at Albertons. Or something. I think that it’s a grocery store on “The West Coast”. Let me look this up.
Yeah. How many people are going to fucking know this? I don’t even know why I know this. Sergio in Argentina is scratching his head over this comment.
We’re just supposed to know. Everybody on earth is supposed to know about Erin’s local grocery store.
There are 392 of these stores in the US. That’s not many. The overwhelming majority of them are in California with 126 locations. So we’re all supposed to know about a fucking California grocery store.
0:30 – “So there’s Bowser’s museum, which looks like we’re in a cemetery.”
Mausoleum. But I wouldn’t expect Erin to know the word.
1:15 – Then one of the horntards mentions this “mausoleum” thing and she just makes an awkward comment.
1:45 – She’s playing a mini-game that’s obviously based on the original Mario Bros game and she doesn’t mention this fact once. Because she’s unfamiliar with Mario Bros.
2:15 – She gets an apple. This is some kind of artefact . Then I guess you travel back to related time period.
Erin says, “Okay, apple. I think, okay, the beginning of humans. Right? Adam and Eve?”
What? This is a game about history. Not religion. Maybe she’s one of these bible literalists like her friend Adam the Woo. Maybe she believes that Noah was chilling with dinosaurs on the ark too.
Anyway, I immediately thought of Isaac Newton.
“I like apples too, Super Jeff.”
Boy, this is some good commentary. Do you have a favourite variety, Erin? Golden delicious? Granny Smith? Tell us everything that you know about apples. I think that she already did.
“We go in the time machine. Now we have to pick which year the apple belongs to.”
Yeah. Isaac Newton. I don’t know. When was this? 1600s?
2:45 – “Oh, it could be Isaac Newton.”
Even the mentally challenged people in the chat know this. And it’s all news to Erin. Even though she claims to have played this game before. As a child. She never got past this part? The very first stage?
“So we’ll see what the makers of this game…what year apples represent. I don’t know.”
Isaac Newton. What are you, retarded? That’s obviously it. It’s not obscure. What a fucking idiot.
3:15 – “So is it…that year?”
She doesn’t know what “80mBC” means. So she just said “that year”. She doesn’t know that the “m” stands of “million”. Unbelievable.
“So 80…heh…80 million BC.”
She had to guess. And she was unsure of herself so she laughed.
“Wait. What is that ‘m’? I don’t remember. I’m sounding like such an idiot right now. Just — it’s happening. It’s here.”
Indeed.
Everyone in the chat is telling her that it’s one of the two 1600s options. These mentally challenged people all know the answer. But Erin still thinks that this is something obscure. Like nobody would know what an apple is supposed to represent. This is somebody with a degree. Allegedly.
Then the mentally challenged people in the chat give her the correct date.
This is a game for children, by the way. Erin doesn’t have a fucking clue.
Then she just jumps around and doesn’t know what she’s doing. How is it possible that she played this game before?
5:15 – Then after ENORMOUS struggle, she managed to jump on the appropriate block and it revealed the answer. “Okay, Newton. So you guys were right!”
Well no shit. She’s the only person who didn’t know the answer. Adam and Eve. What the fuck.
Then she reads the quote, “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” And the way she reads it, it’s clearly that she’s never heard this before.
So she says, “Okay, hopefully we all absorbed this information. We’re learning tonight.”
No. Everybody knew it already. You’re the only one who needs this game for children. The retards in your chat already know this shit.
5:45 – “So let’s go to the left, I guess. Nope.”
She never played this before. It’s impossible. She lied yet again.
And by the way, typically in side-scrolling games, you move to the right. This is another bit of video game information that Erin doesn’t possess.
6:00 – “Even though I rented the Super Nintendo version, I was probably like eight and I haven’t rented the Super Nintendo version since then.”
So she’s saying that she doesn’t remember this at all because she only played it once, when she was eight. Well, okay. How about playing some games that you have played before? We’ve seen how that goes. She’s just as bad and clueless at Yoshi’s Island and Super Mario Bros as she is at games that she’s never played before.
7:45 – “I like how Mario is purple. That’s kind of fun.”
Oh, we all love comments about colours.
By the way, she’s completely unable to do this platforming. It’s not exactly challenging either. This is a game for eight year olds.
9:30 – “Can you actually take damage from enemies? I think you can.”
The person is asking this because there were at least two times when Erin clearly got hit by an enemy and nothing happened. So no, I don’t think that you can take damage. But Erin is just completely clueless.
“Erin should start her own Youtube physics channel. It should be called Erin Teaches Physics. Can you imagine? And the channel takes off.”
Well, it can’t be any worse than this. Do you want to hear about physics from a woman who knows nothing about physics or do you want to hear about video games from a woman who knows nothing about video games? Physics would be something different at least.
10:45 – “No, I’m sure there are good channels on physics, it’s just it would be funny if I made a channel on physics because I would not know what the fuck I’m talking about.”
Uh huh. You don’t see the irony in this statement, Erin?
12:00 – She stumbles through the level. “That…I mean, I get why they used the apple but it’s like…Newton could have found other apples.”
I don’t think that she actually does know why the apple was used. There was a tree at the end of the level. She never mentioned this tree. She doesn’t know the story.
12:15 – She makes a weird “joke” about how the apple wouldn’t have survived all of this time but that a person who invented a time machine would probably be able to invent “food preservation even better than McDonalds”. Okay?
13:00 – “And now for a really sexy blowing my nose. Sorry.”
And she inhales this tissue. Why doesn’t she just turn around when she does this? Or walk off screen for a second? She knows it looks bad. Maybe this is somebody’s fetish. “Oh yeah. Stick your fingers all the way up your nose! Hot!”
13:15 – “I want that statue outside of my house. Isn’t that cute?”
It’s a statue of a star. Go get a job, Erin. Then you can buy all the statues you want. And maybe a house one day.
It’s weird that she described Mike’s house as her house. She’s surely not paying anything toward it. And they’re not married. So she has no claim whatsoever on this.
“So we have to do this shit again. We have to get another item.”
Yeah. You have to play a version of Mario Bros again. She seriously doesn’t know this. She doesn’t recognise the game. She never played it before. Mario Bros.
13:45 – “Oh my god, a torch.”
I’ll say first Olympic games. I don’t know. Something BC. But not that 80mBC. I think that the “m” stands for million. Is that right? Fucking idiot.
Oh, my god. She got it. “I think we’re going to talk about the Olympics. Don’t you think? Or what do you guys think.”
“Wouldn’t a torch be the first Olympics? I think so.”
Okay. You got it. You don’t have to keep bragging.
Then the horntards suggest 776 BC.
Whatever happened to BCE and CE, by the way? I know that this game pre-dates that shit, at least in my experience, but in college BCE and CE was all the rage. This was like 20 years ago. But nobody in the real world uses that, do they? Do they still use it in colleges, though?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common_Era#Support
Oh. It’s an issue that the Chosen People have. But yeah, I’ve never seen anybody use these terms outside of my time in college.
It’s just one of those stupid college things. Like safe spaces and whatnot. That shit might fly in college but the the population at large isn’t going to go along with that shit.
It’s not a liberal/conservative thing. It’s just an opposition to stupid bullshit thing.
15:30 – Erin got tripped up by the word “pentathlon” but managed to get through it. She obviously never saw the word before.
It reminds me of when Mike reads shit. He’s fucking embarrassing. He skips so many words because he can’t fucking pronounce them. If it’s an unfamiliar word, like some made up video game place name or something, he just skips it. Did he not take phonics classes as a kid? Can he not sound the word out? He’s really, really bad.
Do they still teach phonics? I think that it was kind of controversial in the 1980s. Previously they taught children how to read using the “whole word” method or something.
16:00 – Extended “X looks like Y” discussion.
But the Olympics. She’s reading some facts about the Olympics. Except for the first block, which she skipped because she couldn’t reach.
What about the fact that they competed naked? Are any of the horntards going to mention that?
16:30 – “Can Mario participate in the Olympics?”
Well, he did. Wasn’t there that game Sonic and Mario at the Olympics or something?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Mario_sports_games#Mario_&_Sonic_at_the_Olympic_Games_series
Yeah, there’s a whole series of games. Erin never played any of them, of course. Or even heard of them.
18:30 – She’s back to Mario Bros and gets a sledgehammer. This one is a bit more obscure. I’d guess it would have to be something from the 20th century.
Wait. Maybe it’s a railroad thing. So maybe 19th century. Well, let’s find out.
18:30 – “Is it the song from the 80s? Sledgehammer! You know what I’m talking about?”
Not at all. Let’s see if it’s on Youtube.
Oh. Hey guys! Remember Peter Gabriel?
No. Not at all.
Tell us more about Peter Gabriel, Erin. Or sing a few bars from his hit song Sledgehammer? You only sang one word.
Then she actually checks the dates to see if it’s a Peter Gabriel reference. I’m not even sure if she’s kidding or not.
Then she suggests that somebody should do a hack of this game but make it about 90s pop culture trivia.
First of all, the song is from the 80s.
Secondly…Erin was born in 1987. Her knowledge of “the 90s” is going to be necessarily limited.
Somebody suggests the Industrial Revolution. That makes sense.
Erin is on the 1989 option and somebody says “Berlin Wall”. Erin doesn’t understand this. She thinks that he’s still talking about the sledgehammer. “Berlin Wall? Do you really think that the sledgehammer is for the Berlin Wall?”
I’d say 1862. Erin says 1602. Is she joking? Oh my god. She wasn’t.
Oh my god. Then one of the horntards says 1687 so she goes with it.
Obviously, the Industrial Revolution did not take place in 1687. But even if you don’t know that, SHE ALREADY WENT TO 1687 FOR THE NEWTON ONE.
She can’t even play this history game for children.
So she’s on the same fucking level that she already did and doesn’t realise it. Then she spends about three minutes trying to make an easy jump.
25:00 – So she’s back playing Mario Bros again. She’s really bad at it. Fortunately, in this version, even if you get hit, nothing happens. And she gets an egg this time.
Umm…egg…I have no idea.
Let’s see is Erin has a guess.
“So wouldn’t you think that that means dinosaurs?”
Maybe? So try the 80mBC one. See if that “m” really does stand for “million”.
Then one of the horntards says that the sledgehammer was for the Berlin Wall. Let me check. That would be kind of stupid. But what else could you use for the Berlin Wall? Assuming that 1989 even is Berlin Wall.
Oh yeah. It is.
26:00 – “The word ‘dinosaur’ comes from the Greek word ‘terrible lizard’. That’s funny. I want to take a picture of that.”
Why? And again, Erin obviously didn’t know this. Is there anything that she does know?
“I wish that I could take more aesthetically pleasing shots of my monitor but…”
She doesn’t know about the print screen button…
“It went away? I want to see it again. For the sake of content. Or whatever.”
No, obviously this is for content. You don’t give a fuck about any of this.
“I do remember the sitcom, The Dinosaurs. I used to like that show a lot when I was little.”
So much in fact, that she calls it THE Dinosaurs. As opposed to the actual title of the show: Dinosaurs. No preceding article.
27:15 – “So where do you think we put the egg?”
Well…probably at the end of the level. Like in the previous two levels.
Then she gets to the end of the level and it was the wrong level or the wrong spot or something.
So she goes through this shit all over again and puts the egg in the right spot. I guess.
33:45 – “Should I do that stage again?”
Why on earth would you do it a third time?
34:00 – Fortunately, she got a different item. Stovepipe Hat. That’s Lincoln. 1862.
She doesn’t know what it is. She laughs when she says “stovepipe hat.”
“Is this like the Industrial Revolution?”
How is it possible that she doesn’t know that Lincoln wore a fucking stovepipe hat? What was she doing in school? Was she in special education for seven and a half years too?
34:30 – “What is a stovepipe? I don’t know. I’m going to Google it. (After a minute) It’s like what Abe Lincoln wore.”
Yes. We all learned this in the second grade. Except for Erin.
35:00 – “Look. It’s a cannon. It looks like it’s making sausage.”
Oh. This is really intelligent commentary. Interesting and funny as well.
Erin doesn’t mention that the background music is Dixie. She’s unfamiliar with the song. Never heard it before. Not the instrumental version. Not the Elvis version. Not even the version from Dinah Shore.
Man, that Burt Reynolds really knew how to pick them. Cruising down America in my Chevrolet with a hot babe like Dinah Shore. Whose alter ego is Dinah Shore?
37:15 – She beats the level and reads the message: “Abe just hasn’t been been himself without his stovepipe hat. He even refused to sign the Gettysburg Address without it.” Cool.
That’s all she has to say. She doesn’t know what any of this is.
I’m not even sure if the makers of this game know what this is. He refused to sign a speech? Why would he sign a speech? But of course, Erin didn’t pick up on this incongruity.
Oh, one of the horntards even picked up on this.
“The Gettysburg Address was a speech, he didn’t have to sign it.”
Erin doesn’t have a fucking clue what to say. She doesn’t know what the Gettysburg Address is. Even though it was just referenced in the level. They gave the first line of it.
38:45 – She gets the sledgehammer again from this Mario Bros minigame.
Erin has no idea what she’s doing in this Berlin Wall level. She’s not been able to hit even one of these trivia blocks. So…we learned nothing about the Berlin Wall. Great.
42:45 – She got a lightbulb. I’ll say Edison. And…late 19th century? Early 20th century? It has to be after the Civil War, though. Were there options after 1862?
Oh, she knew about Thomas Edison. Good for her.
One of the horntards suggests 1903.
She can’t hit any of these trivia blocks either.
I think the problem is that she never runs and jumps. If this controls like regular Super Mario Bros, you can jump higher when you run and jump. We all know this. But Erin doesn’t. So we’re just missing out on all of this trivia. This is an opportunity for Erin to learn something for once in her life but she’s failing, as usual.
Then she thinks that she was in the wrong level so goes back to the Mario Bros minigame.
45:45 – “This is random, but speaking of history, I kind of wish I was more into it growing up.”
Yeah. What were you into? Anything? Did you ever have an interest or hobby in your entire life?
Then she says that in college she took a class on California history and “really enjoyed that class.”
That’s the story. Give us an example of something that you learned. Do a Youtube video on some aspect of California history.
Then she gets the lightbulb and goes to 1879.
Once again, she’s not able to hit the trivia blocks so just gives up.
The whole point of the game is to read these trivia blocks and learn about history. She’s skipping that part. So now it’s just a game about dropping an item in a particular level. That’s fucking boring.
Then she drops it in the wrong place.
I’m done. I got to 48 minutes, though. It was fun to see just how stupid Erin is.
– “*You’re so gorgeous Erin *Long time admirer (Fan Sounds Creepy) *Love the channel”
– “…. the industrial revolution was not in the 1600s…….. I havent watched farther but I’d say it was probably the Berlin wall 🤔 and the first thing you thought of when you heard “stovetop hat” wasnt Abe Lincoln? Lol how? Erin you’re great! But that was just… wow hahahaha”
Even her mentally challenged fans are questioning her intelligence.