https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2jetF5-ZyY
Hey guys! Remember Neo Turf Masters?
Not really. I must have played it but probably only briefly.
About twenty years ago, I was really into emulation. It was a new thing. And I just got the internet so that was a new thing too. It was just mind blowing that you could play all of these games for free and on your computer.
I played shit from just about every console Nintendo 64 and earlier as well as arcade roms but I made it my mission to collect every rom for Neo Geo. This was before torrents and this shit wasn’t really on Kazaa or whatever so I think that I got them from mame.dk and there was Joseq? Something like that.
Also, the emulator (NeoRage, probably) listed all of the games that were compatible. They would grey out the ones that you didn’t have. So it was like an incentive to get them all. And when you’d find a game that wasn’t on the list, that was like a cool bonus. And these games not on the list still ran. So that was cool.
Another thing is that Neo Geo was attainable. There weren’t hundreds of games. It was less than 100, I’d guess. So it was something that you could do. Just click the download link and then wait, whatever four hours for this 30mb rom to download over your 56k modem. It was great.
It was great to be able to play arcade games on your computer. And these games were pretty new. Metal Slug 3 was from 2000. Neo Geo was still releasing games.
I remember as a kid seeing Neo Geo being sold in some catalogue and it was $600. And I’d think, “Who is possibly buying that?” As it turns out, nobody. Plus, the games were like $200. It’s crazy. But I don’t know. Maybe there was some rich kid out there who had this thing.
So we have Erin here. She never played this game before. Or any Neo Geo game. But she’s here with Mike. Mike is wearing an X-Men shirt. Hey guys! Remember X-Men? I remember them, Mike.
Let’s check it out. Hopefully a golf game won’t be too taxing on Erin’s wrists. She has the wrists of an 80 year old, apparently.
0:00 – She says that Duo will be making more emotes. There is no way that this guy is getting paid for this. He also gives “gift subs” A LOT to Mike and Erin. He was playing the game with Mike, Valheim or whatever, and CONSTANTLY gifting subs. He’s actually LOSING money from all of this work that he’s doing. It’s disgusting how they take advantage of him. This is what Mike does, though. He did the same thing with Jimmy “Rainman” Rolfe.
I mean, Mike and Erin really deserve each other. Two vile scumbags.
0:30 – “So the first time I tried this out was the other day on stream.”
Of course…but it’s good that she’s admitting this.
0:45 – “You and me played this last night. Not on stream or anything.”
She has to mention that last part because it’s just so ridiculously rare that she plays anything not on stream, for money.
1:00 – “Hey Retail Archaelogy.”
Pathetic. I noticed him commenting on a lot of her inane Twitter shit. He’s obviously trying to get something going with this. How many subscribers does he have? 98,000. No. That’s not enough to leave Mike for.
1:15 – She immediately goes to easy mode. Mike says, “Since we’re versing (is that a word?) each other anyway, I don’t think it matters but…”
She’s fucking pathetic.
3:00 – “I just had a revelation. So the whole time I thought they were yelling ‘fort’ but it’s ‘fore'”.
How is it even possible that she didn’t know this? I’ve never played golf. I’ve never watched it on tv. I’ve played few golf games and none of them have the word ‘fore’ in them, as far as I’m aware. But of course I know that they say “fore” in golf.
She has done absolutely nothing with her life. What the fuck were her parents doing? Erin just sat and stared at a wall from the time she was born to the age of 27 when she started this Youtube channel.
3:15 – “My whole life, I thought that it was ‘fort’. Am I the only person who thought that?” And Mike says, “Yes.”
He’s right. There’s something seriously wrong with Erin.
4:15 –
Erin: I think I literally am the only person who thought it was “fort”.
Mike: I think you are.
Erin: That is so embarassing.
Mike: Darn, you didn’t know that golf term. I’m sorry you didn’t know that golf thing.
Mike is trying to downplay how absolutely retarded this is. How is it possible that somebody would not know this? I’ve seen it in cartoons as a child. That’s probably how I know about it. It’s just part of the culture. You don’t have to be a hardcore golf enthusiast to know this.
4:45 – “I’ve learned over the past month, I guess, I really enjoy golf games.”
I can not wait for Erin to start running golf games into the ground like she’s done for Castlevania. This will be the final nail in the coffin for her dying channel. Even Shishi will say, “Actually, I’d rather watch some anime tonight.”
Mike says, “I remember kind of liking Monkey Ball golf”. And Erin says, “Oh yeah. I never played that.”
Of course not. We never saw a stream of it, after all.
6:15 – “Wow, I’m first place for once in my life.”
She’s tied with Mike. She doesn’t even know what’s going on.
6:45 – “I’ve never played any South Park games.”
You don’t say.
9:30 – Erin says “par”, clearly not knowing what the fuck that means. She’s just repeating what the in-game announcer says. She did the same thing earlier when he said “birdie”. She has no clue what any of this means.
14:00 – “There is a Neo Geo bowling game? Really? I’ll have to look that up.”
Yeah, I played this one extensively. But of course Erin never even heard of it.
17:15 – “I didn’t know about Shirt Tales until you told me.” Then Mike says, “That’s because I’m ancient.”
Yeah, it’s really hilarious how people always talk about how old they are, at every age. But age isn’t a factor for Erin. She’s a big Jem fan and that was on at the same time that Shirt Tales was. That’s how Erin rolls. She was watching all kinds of shit before she was born.
17:45 – “There was a mole? I don’t remember there being a mole.”
She just fucking got through saying that she never saw the show before and never even heard of it until Mike told her about it. So OF COURSE she wouldn’t remember details about the show. Fucking dumb, compulsively lying bitch.
27:45 – “Was this on MS-DOS? I don’t know. I mean, it’s called Neo Geo Turf Masters so I don’t think so.”
Mike looked like he was about to lose his shit when she started talking but he wasn’t able to interrupt in time to save her. It was obviously a joke question but Erin didn’t get it because she doesn’t know what MS-DOS is. Naturally, MS-DOS was no longer in use WAY before this game was released. And there is no way that this game could run on any DOS-era system.
Also, she got the name of the game wrong.
People should do this more often. Ask obviously stupid questions and see how she replies.
Let me look this up. Wow. DOS was still going in 2000. And Neo Turf Masters was released in 1996. But no, of course there was no DOS version of Neo Turf Masters. Erin doesn’t even know what DOS is.
30:45 – “You were kicking my ass last night.”
Shishi has to change his underpants. Actually, is that sexual or not? Depends what you’re into, I guess.
34:00 – I’m done. I’m just bored.