Gamer Girls

 Who would win in a fight out of Erin, Bobdunga, Pelvic Gamer, Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining, Madam Fomo, Retro Ali, SupaPixelGirl, and SuperVideoGameGal?  I’m disallowing John Riggs.  

Let me do a seeded tournament bracket for this since we have a convenient number of competitors.  I’ll seed by popularity on this blog.  So we have:

Erin v SuperVideoGameGal
Bobdunga v SupaPixelGirl
Destiny Fomo v Pelvic Gamer
CannotBeTamed v Retro Ali

Erin vs SuperVideoGameGal

This is a tough one.  Initially, I was thinking Erin because of all the quiche and tofu that SuperVideoGameGal enjoys with that hippie California bullshit but then I realised that Erin is from California too.  She probably still enjoys that shit.

Wait a minute.  But Erin also enjoys McDonalds.  And judging by her larger physique of late, she probably is also enjoying the local Pennsylvania cuisine (those big pretzels, hoagies, what have you).  So yeah, Erin has the weight advantage.

Oh, but the back injury.  Should we factor that in?  I’m not even sure if it’s real.  No, we won’t factor in the back injury.

Fighting ability…it has to be almost nil for both contenders.  SuperVideoGameGal is maybe slightly more street than Erin.  She has a bunch of tattoos doesn’t she?  And her husband does.  Erin just has the one.  

I mean, it’s just going to be a slap and hair pulling match so hair length…I think as long as Erin doesn’t wear the extensions, her hair should be shorter.  That’s an advantage in fights.  

So yeah, I’m going with Erin based on the weight advantage and the shorter hair.  Surely neither one of them can fight but my money would be on Erin.

Oh fuck.  But what about Erin’s asthma and wrist problems and allergies and everything else?  No, I’m changing my mind.  I have to give the edge to SuperVideoGameGal when you consider all of Erin’s health problems, both real and imaginary.  I know that it’s an upset but I have to be fair.  

Winner: SuperVideoGameGal

Bobdunga vs SupaPixelGirl

This is another close matchup.  Bobdunga is crazy as fuck so that’s worth something in a fight but SupaPixelGirl is no slouch in the crazy department either.  I say that they’re both equally crazy so it cancels out.

SupaPixelGirl has the obvious weight advantage.  That’s to count for something.

Have either of them been in a fight before?  Maybe?  It’s tough to guess.  I’m going to say that schools in the US are broadly rougher than schools in Canada.  But does that mean that SupaPixelGirl ever got into a fight in school?  Girls rarely do that.

I suppose that Bobdunga is a few years younger than SupaPixelGirl.  That’s an advantage, of course.  She’s in better shape.  Bobdunga seems fairly athletic.  She has a swimmer’s physique.  

Still…SupaPixelGirl probably has a 40 pound weight advantage.  And again, it’s just going to be slapping and hair pulling.  Yeah, I have to go with SupaPixelGirl.

Destiny Fomo vs Pelvic Gamer

I had Madam Fomo as the favourite to take the whole thing but the more I think about it, I’m not so sure.

Yeah, she’s definitely been in fights before.  Probably loads of them.  We’ve all seen videos of working girls fighting on the street.  And Madam Fomo alleges that she had like seven siblings.  There was probably fighting within the family.  And she’s probably from a poor background.  She was raised in either Florida or New York, depending on what her story is on any particular day.

But she’s like five feet tall.  And the big tits aren’t an advantage in a fight.  They’re a liability.  Decreased movement range.

Then you look at Pelvic Gamer.  Also presumably from a disadvantaged background.  She’s from Florida.  A lot of trash down there.  I assume that she’s been in some fights.  

But she is very slim.  

If I was betting money on this…yeah, I’d have to go with Madam Fomo.  Madam Fomo has to be the most experienced fighter in this tournament.  By some margin.  And yeah, I just don’t think that Pelvic Gamer has the power.  Too slim.

CannotBeTamed vs Retro Ali

This is probably the easiest match to call so far.  

Retro Ali has the youth advantage (by like ten years), the rough working class background advantage, and I think that she had brothers growing up.  I just remember seeing a video of her in somebody’s backyard and there were two dudes with her, who may or may not have been related to her.  

Advantages for CannotBeTamed?  I’m struggling.  I suppose there’s the shorter hair but it’s still enough to grab on to.  She was probably some sort of a goth in her youth.  Maybe got into some fights because of that.  But I doubt it.  Plus, with it being Canada and all.  

No.  Retro Ali has this thing in the bag.

So on to the semi-finals.

SuperVideoGameGal vs SupaPixelGirl 

Battle of the lame similar names.  

Well, let’s not tease this one too much.  SupaPixelGirl would destroy SuperVideoGameGal.  She’s got the weight advantage and the crazy advantage.  

SuperVideoGameGal has NOTHING.  She was only able to beat Erin because Erin is a fucking invalid.  

So SupaPixelGirl with an easy second match.  But we’re not taking previous matches into account.  This isn’t like an early UFC one day tournament where if you have a hard first match, you’re going to be fatigued for your second match.  This tournament is taking place over a few weeks to allow everyone time to recuperate.

Destiny Fomo vs Retro Ali

I just can’t see a way for Retro Ali to win this one.  She has the glasses and she’s probably about the same height as Destiny Fomo.  

We’re talking about Retro Ali, a hardcore Pokemon enthusiast, squaring off against a prostitute.  It’s just not even close.  

Who did Retro Ali beat to get in here anyway?  Oh yeah.  Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining.  She had to be second weakest competitor in this thing.  

So yeah.  Destiny Fomo wins this one no problem.

It all comes down to this then.  Battle of the titans.

SupaPixelGirl vs DestinyFomo

Yeah, I think the right two ladies came out on top of this thing.  It’s not like there was a fluke early elimination due to a bad matchup.   These are definitely the top two fighters, in my opinion.

I wish that I had full height and weight for everyone but…wait a minute.  I bet that information is out there on some obsessive Wiki.  No.  SupaPixelGirl is on Fandom dot come but there’s no height or weight.  

Still, I think that SupaPixelGirl is at least of average height.  Maybe above average.  I’m going to say that she has at least six inches on Madam Fomo.

As for weight…fuck.  Forty pound advantage?  Sixty pounds? 

Plus the craziness.

Madam Fomo has the experience but…that’s a lot to overcome.  

It’s a tough one.  We’re assuming a regular catfight for all of these.  No weapons or anything.  

Yeah, I have to give SupaPixelGirl the slight advantage.  Madam Fomo might be able to pull off some sleazy tactics but SupaPixelGirl would just go crazy beast mode on her and with the height and weight advantage, I don’t think that Madam Fomo would have an answer to it.

WINNER: SUPAPIXELGIRL

Oh, I didn’t even realise that both of these ladies are on OnlyFans.  So there’s that.

But yeah, it’s too bad that SupaPixelGirl doesn’t make “content” any more.  I mean, other than weird non-nude stuff on OnlyFans or stolen pictures on OnlyFans.  She used to put out some class-A crazy bullshit and I’d like for her to be a regular feature on the site.

When I was having the banner made, I wanted to put SupaPixelGirl in there but I just don’t write about her enough to justify it because she doesn’t make any “content”.  So I had to go with John Riggs instead.  

As for the Superfight between John Riggs and SupaPixelGirl.  It ends in a disqualification.  John Riggs managed to get her down but then was trying to hump her like a dog.