https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=etmC6tPaHSo
Hey guys! Remember McDonalds?
0:00 – You got the creepy 70s Ronald with the disturbing Mayor McCheese and his phallic, bouncing nose.
McDonalds got sued by Sid and Marty Kroftt, that’s why they had to stop these fucking commercials. Sid and Marty Kroff made a bunch of children’s tv shows that were similar to these McDonald’s commercials. Guys in suits and weird shit going on. Land of the Lost is the only one that I’m familiar with, but only because I saw the version from “the 90s”. The original show was from the 1970s.
And yeah, this fucking 70s Ronald McDonald. He’s unsettling. I only remember the Squire Fridell Ronald. He was weird in his own way. Clearly gay. The 70s Ronald, I don’t know, he’s just unnerving. But clearly more masculine than the Squire Fridell version. I think the 70s actor is King Moody but I don’t know who that is.
I’m not sure what’s weirder: an effeminate, gay Ronald McDonald or a macho, heterosexual Ronald McDonald. I don’t really want to think about Ronald McDonald’s sex life in general. I’m not sure what the solution is, though.
Male children’s entertainers are almost universally effeminate homosexuals. It’s because they want a non-threatening person doing this shit. I get it. You used to be afraid of your friend’s dad and shit like this. Big, burly guys with a gruff voice can intimidate children.
But…this is what some guys are like. And they’re not trying to intimidate anyone. It gives a distorted view of reality when you have these camp guys entertaining children. You see it with teachers as well. Guys who teach young children are often effeminate homosexuals.
So I suppose that I prefer the manlier Ronald McDonald from the 1970s. It’s still weird but…the guy’s just trying to sell hamburgers. I can appreciate that.
1:00 – Some weird Ronald McDonald plush toys or possibly puppets of some kind. I’ve never seen these before. Odd.
1:30 – McDonald’s imitation ColorForms. McDonalds just loves ripping off other people’s ideas.
3:45 – Mayor McCheese says that he’s going “skin diving”. Is that…let me check what that is.
Oh. Some snorkeling or “freediving” thing.
And then yeah, we see the creepy 70s Hamburglar. They really softened the characters up after that lawsuit.
4:15 – You can get red, white, and blueberry shakes. This is for the Bicentential, presumably. “They’re as American as McDonald’s hambugers.” Shameful. Conflating nationalism with your corporate identity. “Do your patriotic duty: eat a Big Mac”
4:30 – Creepy commercial about “feeding the wastebaskets”. And then some sentient garbage cans want you to throw your trash in their mouths. What the fuck? This is somebody’s sick fetish.
But yeah, in the 70s, there was a drive against “litter” and general environmentalism.
5:30 – A rare 70s McDonald’s commercial for adults. Instead of Ronald McDonald and the copyright infringement gang, it’s just some random folksy types singing about how much they like unhealthy food.
6:30 – Ronald is showing off his “Halloween safety cuffs”. They’re…like…reflective tape that he put around his arms. It’s to show kids that it’s cool to ruin your costume by putting this high visibility shit on for trick or treating. Kids were getting hit by cars on Halloween, I guess.
Oh, I see. These are cup holders. For McDonald’s beverages. But they also want you to wear them on your arms for Halloween. They have the McDonald’s logo on them. They want children to advertise for McDonald’s on Halloween and they’re disguising this as a public health concern.
They look like fucking shit. And I question the safety benefits. I mean, come on. What costume goes well with a reflective drink holder?
7:00 – Give your loved ones McDonald’s gift certificates for Christmas. They’re fucking fifty cents. Back in my day, you could get a hamburger for fifty cents. Maybe in the 70s, you could even get an order of fries for that price. Now, you can’t get shit.
But yeah, gift certificates. What a scam.. Just give them the fucking cash. Then they can spend that fifty cents wherever they want.
And then this dumbass kid bought one for himself. What’s the fucking point? PAY CASH.
But yeah, I remember getting similar McDonald’s gift certificates for Halloween. And that was like a good house to go to. But if somebody just gave $0.50, you’d think that they’re a stingy bastard. For some reason, the gift certificate made a difference.
8:00 – Evil 70s Grimace. He was evil back then. He was like the Hamburglar but he stole shakes instead and had a bunch of arms. There was also Captain Crook who stole those god awful fish sandwiches. Does McDonald’s still sell those? What were they? Fish Fillets? Oh. Filet-O-Fish. Yeah, apparently they still sell it.
I like the regional differences in McDonalds. For instance, you can get a lobster sandwich in many New England McDonald’s. At least seasonally.
And of course internationally there are a lot of changes to the menu. India has a bunch of vegetarian shit, Japan has a bunch of weird shit. It’s basically the same menu in the UK as in the US, but everything just costs twice as much.