Gamer Girls

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3tDA6UzYRw

Some of that delicious *nostalgia* from “the 90s”.  I’m all for it.  Anything that isn’t video game content is a step in the right direction for Erin’s channel.

0:00 – “There are things that we experience as children that stick with us for the rest of our lives.”

That’s dark.  What a way to start a video.  What trauma is she going to share with us?  What happened in her childhood that caused her to lack any empathy for other people?  Neglect?  Abuse?  

I was watching some interviews with psychopaths the other day, not in the murderer sense but in the clinical sense, and a common theme was, “Nobody cared about me so I don’t care about other people.”  Maybe Erin has a similar story.

Oh, by the way, Erin’s hair grew about 18 inches for this video.  And some of her hair is a different hue.  Why does she do this?  Hair extensions are not a good look.  On anyone.  I’ll give black women and women with hair loss a pass on this but nobody else should be doing this.

“I find myself playing old commercial clips all the time on Youtube.”

Uh huh.  And just the clips?  Why not the full commercial?  She doesn’t have 30 seconds to spare, I guess.

0:30 – Zoobooks.  Hey guys!  Remember Zoobooks?  Then she shows the commercial.  Well, just a clip of it.  So maybe this is all she was watching.   But to answer the original question…yeah, vaguely.  I vaguely remember this now that I’ve seen the commercial.  Oh my god.  So much *nostalgia*!  *Nostalgia* overload over here.  I DO remember Zoobooks now, Erin.  Thanks for unlocking this precious memory for me.  

These weren’t really books, they were just thin magazines, and they had pictures of animals in them and probably some facts about animals.  I had absolutely no interest in this shit but I remember watching the commercials.  Wow.  What a great memory.  

And then Erin just…I mean…nothing interesting.  She says that some people didn’t get the advertised free tiger poster.  Who gives a fuck?  This is boring.  

What was Erin’s personal experience with Zoobooks?  None.  She never got them and she never saw them.  Of course.

2:45 – So we’re on to the Muzzy commercial.  Let’s see what complete lack of experience Erin has with this product.

Oh yeah.  Muzzy.  I do vaguely remember this one too.  The memory is even hazier than with Zoobooks.  Wow.  Thanks, Erin.  You’ve unlocked another treasured memory for me.  I used to see these commercials when I would watch tv as a child!  That’s so interesting.

3:45 – “I wanted it.  I didn’t even care what language but I wanted it.   Of course, I never got it because my parents weren’t going to shell out money for some random VHS collection that I’d probably only watch once.  And I’m glad they didn’t”

So…another great memory of something that she DIDN’T do.  

This is probably why her parents didn’t buy her video games either.  “You’re only going to play it once.”  It’s true.  That’s the way she is with video games since she started her channel.  One time, on stream, for money, and then never again.

4:00 – Then she shows off her recent acquisition.  She bought a Muzzy boxset from Ebay.  For the purposes of this video.  She says that it’s only for display purposes.  

To what end?  Who will possibly be impressed by your Muzzy VHS box?  

4:45 – “Last but not least, who remembers Betta Blocks?”

Let me rewind this.  Did she really say “Betta Blocks”?  Oh my god, she did.  What kind of pronunciation is this?  She’s trying to say “better”, by the way.

5:00 – “That’s right.  It’s ‘betta’ and not ‘better’.  Or at least that’s how they pronounce it in the commercial but it’s not spelled that way.

She showed a fucking clip of the commercial right before this and the woman is clearly saying “better”.  If there’s some other example of somebody pronouncing it “betta”, show us.  

6:30 – Then after some more bizarre, awkward commentary she shows some Better Blocks that she got.  For the purposes of this video, of course.  Are these also going to be a display item?  

8:30 – She’s sort of “unboxing” this and says, “So somebody already made, like their kid or something, a rolly thing.”

Oh what a fucking idiot.  They did that for purposes of shipping.  

“Maybe this was part of a castle?”

How could that possibly be part of a castle?  

You know what else Erin has obviously never done?  Played with Lego.

Then she wears it as a belt.  Hey, Erin, this was just a simple thing that the guy spent two minutes on to make it fit in the fucking box.  This is not some great example of creativity.  

9:15 – “Better Blocks are actually pretty cool.  I would have had fun with this.”

She says this after struggling to put them together.  I mean…this is AWFUL.  

I had high hopes for this video.  I really did.  I don’t see an Erin video and think, “Oh, yeah.  I can’t wait to shit this one.”  I always go in with an open mind.  I always go in HOPING for a good video.  And I’m always disappointed.

This video proves that she can’t make a video on ANYTHING without it being terrible.  She can’t fucking do anything and she doesn’t know anything about anything.  She also has zero charisma.  

She’s never done anything in her entire life.  That’s the problem.  It’s like watching some alien pod person who’s trying to figure out how humans behave.  

9:45 – “I feel kind of guilty taking apart the person’s creation who had this before me but got to do what you got to do.”

She’s not even joking.  It might look that way in print.  But watch the video.  She honestly believes that that coil of blocks was some guy’s Better Blocks masterpiece.  It was obviously hastily put together to fit in the fucking box.  But Erin, because she has zero experience with Legos or similar building blocks, looked at that thing and thought, “Wow.  That must have taken an age to do.”

So anyway, she’s making a crown.  Did I mention that.  And the crown in the instructions was too small because it was for children.  So Erin decides to make it bigger.  Makes sense.

But she only makes it a tiny bit bigger.  It’s still nowhere near big enough for her.  She wears it and it’s just perched on the back of her head.  Does she not have enough blocks?  She must because it was a pretty big coil of blocks.  Why didn’t she make this big enough so that it actually fits?  She lacks the physical dexterity to manipulate these blocks, she lacks the knowledge of how this is supposed to work, and she doesn’t want to spend any more time on this video.

10:15 – Then she very awkwardly puts this tiny crown on the back of her head.

10:45 – “I still can’t get over…”

And she holds up this strip of blocks that the person made.  She’s amazed at this man’s Better Blocks craftsmanship.  “Wow!  He made an elongated strip.  This is amazing!”  It’s just insane.

“Oh my god.  Do you know what I just noticed?  It totally says ‘Better Blocks’ like on the little dot itself.”

Oh right.  So kind of like Lego?  How Lego has “Lego” written on the studs (or “dots” if you prefer).  This is something that I think your entire audience noticed when they were…I don’t know…five years old?  But it’s new to Erin.  Because she never saw a Lego before.

Why would a 31 year old woman suddenly purchase a coil of Better Blocks, having never played with building blocks of any description in her entire life?  For the purposes of a Youtube video, of course.  What else?

It’s just insane.  Why doesn’t Mike watch these videos before they go out?  He could have saved Erin so much embarrassment.  “Hey, Erin.  Cut the parts out where you go on about this guy’s amazing creation.  And the part where you notice that ‘Better Blocks’ is stamped on the blocks.  Actually, maybe just scrap the entire video and start again.  I’ll help.”

No, she just puts out this trash and then expects the money and the accolades to roll in.  

11:00 – Her crown keeps breaking.  Why even include this in the video?  

That’s the video.  This was absolute shit.  That’s the only way to describe it.  Why would anybody want to watch this?

– “great video Erin, lots of memories , and as always lovely and cute. Thx so much.”

– “Grade A YouTube content, the good stuff”

– “I miss commercials as a kid”

Good news, Gabriel.  Commercials still exist.

– “your ridiculously cute lol”

– “Is Erin gonna do a Better Blocks building stream? 😂 That would actually be kinda fun!!”

Erin says, “yeah probably”

Why wouldn’t she?  Another thing that she’ll do once, for the first and last time ever, on stream, for money.

– “So strikingly beautiful Erin. Your hair is, wild!”

– “Please do more videos like this.”

– “You are the Better Blocks Queen!”

– “Erin the hottest youtuber sooooo hot”

– “Has she shown feet yet?”

Mike left a comment that’s just two heart emojis.

There is absolutely no way that he thought this video was good.  It’s impossible.