https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=007vSbuEFOQ
It’s dumb. These streams where she plays various games on “X” system are stupid. It’s just a way for her to find games to do full streams on. She can’t even do this “research” in her spare time. Everything involving video games has to be on stream, for money.
0:00 – “Somebody suggested something and it sounded interesting and I don’t know where that went.”
We’re off to a good start.
0:45 – Somebody suggests some Japanese game. “Oh my god. Where am I?” She dies within five seconds of starting the game. Naturally, she has never played this before.
1:30 – “So I’m not really entirely sure what you’re doing but this is interesting.”
Strongly disagree.
4:15 – “I think I’ll have to look up the rules on this but this looks interesting. I’ll write it down.”
And that’s it. She played the game for four minutes. And she doesn’t know what the fuck she’s doing. But the game was “cute”. That’s enough for her.
5:30 – “Sparkster. I don’t know if I’ve played Sparkster. I liked Rocket Knight.”
Has she done a stream or video on this? Maybe she played it in a previous stream like this. For four minutes. That counts in Erin’s world.
She’s really surprised by the graphics. But she says that she enjoyed Rocket Knight. I never heard of the game. Let me look this up.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtId7oQz8-s
Looks identical to what she’s playing. So if she played Rocket Knight, she should be familiar with the sequel: Sparkster: Rocket Knight Adventures 2.
“It’s been a while since I played any Rocket Knight game. I’ve never beaten any Rocket Knight game but I’ve played a little bit. I liked what I played of it.”
I can almost guarantee that she’s talking about one of these previous streams where she plays games for no more than five minutes each. It is absolutely insane that she counts this as having played the game. But she does.
She’s horrible at the game, by the way. And she doesn’t know the controls.
8:45 – “Oh, they’re like projectiles. I can just stay back. Duh.”
I don’t even know how she didn’t know this. It’s the same in Rocket Knight, by the way. But even without knowing this, you can clearly see in the game that he’s shooting something. How does she not see this?
Oh yeah. And in this game called Rocket Knight, which Erin claims to have played before, she totally eschews using the titular rocket.
10:00 – “I wish I could jump up there.”
She’s trying to reach some gun that keeps shooting at her. It must be possible to reach but she doesn’t know the controls. Perhaps the rocket would help?
11:00 – “Okay, so I really like this.”
Why would she be surprised? The game seems to be have an identical play style to the previous game in the series.
And she doesn’t know what the fuck she’s doing. Like at all. She doesn’t know the controls whatsoever. How is it possible if she played the previous game?
It’s like playing Megaman 4 after playing Megaman 3. If you’ve played Megaman 3, you pretty much know how Megaman 4 operates.
But not Erin. She doesn’t even know the basic controls. At all. How is it possible? Because she never played Rocket Knight. Not for any appreciable length, anyway.
11:15 – “I’m not really sure what to do here.” So she looks at the chat. “I can fly?”
She didn’t know this. She didn’t that Rocket Knight can fly. The clue is in the name.
And I looked at this playthrough of Rocket Knight. First level the guy is using the rocket. Flying all over the place. Straight away. Somehow this crucial gameplay mechanic has passed Erin by.
It’s like playing Mario and saying, “Wait…you can jump?”
Then somebody tells her how to attack to break some crates and she says, “Thank you. I would not have known that.”
Again, this appears to be a crucial gameplay mechanic. Presumably, it was also in the first Rocket Knight.
11:45 – Then she gets stuck again. “How do I fly?”
You don’t know? How did she play the first Rocket Knight without knowing this? She couldn’t have got too far.
I mean, look at this. In the second level of the game, there’s a section which requires using the rocket. I assume that it was similar in the first game. Fairly quickly, they want you to use this mechanic because it’s presumably going to feature prominently in the game. Erin didn’t know this.
So she looks to the chat again. “If you hold a direction, you’ll fly in that direction?” She tries and fails. “I don’t understand. How do you fly?”
“Oh, I just hold Y? Ohhhh.”
And she’s able to use the rocket.
I just don’t get it. People are there in the chat. They’re watching this. They’re hearing what she says. Doesn’t it raise questions? How can she have played the first game in the series, which has identical gameplay mechanics, and not know how the sequel works?
Contra? How do you shoot?
Bonk’s Adventure? How do you headbutt stuff?
F-Zero? How do you accelerate?
There is absolutely no way that she played the previous game. It’s impossible. So why did she say it? Let’s look at the quote.
It’s been a while since I played any Rocket Knight game. I’ve never beaten any Rocket Knight game but I’ve played a little bit. I liked what I played of it.
She never beat it. Well, that’s an understatement. But this phraseology is suggesting that she at least got pretty far. Maybe halfway through?
You know what this quote doesn’t imply? That she played it for about five minutes, on stream, for money. And that’s it. Nobody would ever think that from that quote, unless you know Erin and her somewhat peculiar use of language coupled with her complete lack of experience with video games, knowledge of video games, and interest in video games.
And this is intentional. She’s intentionally misleading the audience. Why not be honest and say, “I only played the original for five minutes, on stream, for money”? Because that would be stupid. And people would say, “Why even mention this? Just say that you never played the game.” But she doesn’t want that. She’ll use any excuse not to have to say, “I never played this before.”
14:00 – “I’ll switch to something else soon but I really like this.”
She doesn’t know the controls, she has no idea what she’s doing, but she claims to like it.
And the game is identical to the first Rocket Knight. Why isn’t she playing that obsessively if she likes the game so much? Forget about obsessively, why isn’t she playing ANY game AT ALL in her spare time if she likes video games so much?
“I like how this looks better than the Genesis one, the first one, but I know people say that that’s the better game.”
There’s just no way that she played the first game.
16:00 – She gives up. “I’ll play a little bit longer. What else do you guys want?”
Really? She’s about ready to stop streaming at 15 minutes? This goes on for 42 minutes. Yeah. Well, I’ve reached my limit anyway. So maybe she should have stopped here.
Somebody in the comments talks about Fivel Goes West, which is a game that she played in this stream, for money. Of course, it’s based on the film. And Erin say, “I’ve actually never seen it! Which is crazy cuz it was popular when I was a super little.”
You don’t say. You mean there’s something that you didn’t do. Tell us more. I love your stories about things that you didn’t do. You’ve really packed your life with fun and adventure, Erin.