https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prkfSvjt0Og
It’s a live stream where Chris BORES promises to give us some insights into this “epic” “collab” between him and James Rolfe. He’s really milking this thing. Buy the t-shirt!
Oh, he’s actually wearing this lame t-shirt. Well…somebody had to buy one, I guess.
0:15 – “We’re on the other side of the last episode, which all of you guys seemed to have loved.”
Really? We’re doing this? People HATED this shit. It was awful.
But let’s say it was great. Let’s say that it was the greatest retro game review with dumb skits ever made. Is it really possible that EVERYONE would have loved it? Is his ego that fragile that he can’t accept the fact that even one person out there didn’t care much for the video?
No. Everyone loved it. Everyone loves everything that Chris BORES does. His mother says that he’s the most handsome guy in the world so it must be true.
“I’m wearing the shirt. I’m so excited about that.”
It’s just…this is weird. Nobody’s buying that fucking shirt. And the video was panned. Rightfully. But he can’t accept that.
According to SocialBlade, Chris BORES is making $225,000/year from that god awful Puppet Steve channel. He can’t be satisfied with that? “I’m making a small fortune with these shitty children’s videos. Who cares if people didn’t like my latest Irate Gamer video?”
No. Everyone loved it.
0:30 – “A lot of great feedback. I read just about every comment.”
It’s impossible. Well, it’s possible that he read every comment because he’s unemployed and there weren’t that many comments but it’s impossible to read every comment then come away with the idea that everyone loved the video. Unless he’s done a REALLY good job of banning all of the “haters”.
1:15 – “It’s so cool to do a collab with James and put that out.”
He’s still trying to sell this as a collaboration? Even after we all saw the video? It was the same as that Ernie Hudson video where he just paid the man to do a shitty phone video from Cameo dot com.
For $125, you can have Ernie Hudson “appear” in your Youtube video too.
Oh, you can even have other “Youtubers” “appear” in your video. Tay Zonday for $50. Remember him? That Chocolate Rain homo.
Or the Batting Stance Guy from David Letterman for only $15. Wow. He’s aged. Well, it was decades ago, I guess.
Kermit for only $30? Oh. It’s some bootleg Kermit. I can’t believe that they even allow this on the site.
Santa Clause for $20. Where’s the fucking quality control? This is bullshit.
CopperCab for $30? That takes me back. Remember Pruane2Forever? I’m so *nostalgic* for that guy. CopperCab is now 300 pounds, apparently.
Anyway, I could look at Z-list Youtubers all day but I have to get back to…a different Z-list Youtuber.
1:30 – “It just felt like to me like a summer blockbuster.”
This is Chris BORES talking about that horrendous Dick Tracy video that he did. He’s completely delusional.
2:00 – This is the second time in the video where he talks about “Irate Gamer fans”. The ego on this guy is unbelievable.
Then he talks about the “AVGN fans” were disappointed by the video. It’s…weird. It’s a weird explanation. In contrast, he says that the “Irate Gamer fans” loved the video. I don’t even get it.
3:00 – “Then you had a third party who were like, ‘Chris you suck, James you suck, this whole video sucked'”
Yeah. That “third party” comprises about 90% of the people who saw the video.
“Like wow. You guys must be the life of the party where you’re going.”
So…if you think that this Chris BORES video on Dick Tracy wasn’t a good video, that means that you’re a boring person. How the fuck does he reach that conclusion? He can’t accept that people didn’t like the video so just insults them. Maybe the criticisms are valid. Maybe the video was bad.
I mean, there’s no shame in it. So what? You can’t please everyone. Some people obviously liked it. Some people like your garbage Puppet Steve videos. Be content with that.
But also don’t be oblivious to the fact that not everybody likes your videos. And don’t insult people who don’t like your videos.
3:30 – “I know people wanted more James and me to interact and things like that. Later. All I can say is just wait.”
Why didn’t YOU wait? You released this piece of shit video where James is just reading a shitty script and recording from his phone.
Now nobody cares. I’m not going to get burned again on this shit.
Also, James didn’t seem happy with the video. He apologised to Nostalgic Critic or whoever it is for the comments that Chris BORES made about him in the video. So assuming that there were plans for an in-person video, those plans might be out the window now.
4:15 – “I know that one of the things that people loved about the video was the couple of pot shots at the Nostalgia Critic.”
Oh. Yeah, refer to my previous comment. James didn’t seem to like it.
“I thought they were great. They were excellent.”
Wow. Way to praise your own work.
This might explain why his videos are so awful. He thinks that they’re all awesome. Most people are critical of their work and look for imperfections and things that they can improve on. Not Chris BORES. Everything he does is amazing and there’s no room for improvement. That’s why it’s all garbage.
Then he apologises to Nostalgia Critic but…not really. He actually says that these insults were like an homage. Whatever.
7:00 – “Shit Pickle was a very last minute addition. I was like, ‘I have to thrown him in there. It would be totally hilarious to have Shit Pickle in there.'”
Well…at least one person found that funny, I guess.
Then he says that people complained that James was only in the video for four minutes. But he says, “But I thought it was great.”
WE KNOW! You thought that it was the greatest video ever made and you dismiss any criticism. Fine. Continue to live in your bizarre little fantasy world.
Then he talks about how he envies the “fans” out there who were sitting there speculating on what would happen.
This guy must jerk off to the mirror every day. That would also explain all of the homoerotic elements in this awful Dick Tracy video.
Then he compares this horrendous Dick Tracy video to the Hollywood blockbuster The Avengers, where all of the characters appear together in the same film.
I never saw the movie. Does Iron Man appear through footage that he recorded himself on his phone?
8:00 – “So I hope that you guys enjoyed this one. It seemed like you guys did.”
He started the video by saying that EVERYONE enjoyed it. Then he talks about how AVGN “fans” didn’t care about it. And how a “third party” didn’t like the video. Then he talks about how awesome he thought the video was. So he’s kind of all over the place. It’s like he’s trying to convince HIMSELF that it was a good video. “This was a good video. Right guys? All of those gay references were funny, right?”
8:45 – He says that he talked to Justin Silverman of Screenwave fame about how upset he is about…whatever…the whole beef with James Rolfe. Then said beef was squashed and Chris praises the whole Screenwave crew.
10:45 – “James thought that it would be funny if he shows up at the very end and I said, ‘We can’t do that. We can’t just have you show up for one second'”
What a lazy fuck James Rolfe is. And we see this in the video. It’s the most low-effort shit possible.
“If we do this, we got to go balls to the wall.”
More gay references. We get it, Chris. You’re a homosexual. It’s okay.
11:30 – He again praises the video. “I think it hit on all cylinders. If you didn’t like it, I apologise.”
It’s not something to apologise over. It was shit but who cares? Chris BORES should care because he should want to make good videos but it seems that he thinks that everything he does is just stupendous so…don’t expect any improvement.
11:45 – “But that’s my humour. That’s me. So that’s the Irate Gamer Show. I know it’s not for everybody. It’s very…you know…whatever you want to call it.”
Boring and unfunny. And gay.
“But James saw it and he really liked it.”
Come on now. Twelve fucking minutes of this. You liked it. Fine.
You can’t convince somebody that something is good by saying, “Hey, everybody else liked it.” I didn’t like it. That’s all that matters.
But that’s fine. If you think that the video is good, that’s great. Maybe all of these “haters” are wrong and it really is good.
12:45 – “Just looking at my notes here. Yeah, I think that’s all the secrets.”
Umm…I must have missed the secrets then. All he did was talk about how awesome the video was.
13:15 – “I know that you guys love the longer episodes so I tried to make this as long as I could. This was the longest Irate Gamer episode that I’ve ever done.”
Don’t tell me what I love. I prefer short Irate Gamer videos. Like as short as possible. Maybe just don’t do them at all.
Then he claims that somebody in the chat asked if there are going to be new episodes. I didn’t see that comment. By the way, he’s completely ignoring the chat.
But yes. There are new episodes in the works. Unfortunately. Then he starts talking about ideas that he has.
Here’s my idea: The Tearoom. According to The Advocate, it’s, “a historically and politically charged public bathroom sex simulator about anxiety, police, and what clandestine meetings such as this mean to gay men.”
That would be perfect for Chris BORES.
15:15 – He starts talking about a “team” that he’s getting because “I know you guys want more Irate Gamer videos” and he’s going to start “pumping them out.”
You know who Chris BORES’ biggest fan is? Chris BORES.
Haha. Somebody in the chat says, “What happened to the ghost stuff?” It wasn’t popular. That’s why he’s not doing it. But that’st the sort of stupid shit that he likes. Ghosts. Chris BORES thinks that there are spirits roaming the earth and he’s going to catch one of them on camera.
17:00 – He’s now taking questions from the chat but it seems to be only the most generic questions possible.
So somebody asks about “Ronnie”. I guess that’s the Death character. “You people kept asking for Ronnie. Ronnie! Ronnie! Ronnie! So I just threw him in there.”
I find it impossible to believe that anyone was asking for this. I didn’t even know the character’s name until just now.
Then he talks about how excited he was to include Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo in the video and how disappointed he was that nobody mentioned them. “I guess that AVGN overshadowed them.” No. People don’t give a shit about your horrible animation attempts.
You know, here’s the problem with Irate Gamer. It’s not the bad special effects or anything like this. It’s the bad fucking writing. It’s not funny.
Oh, boner biting dogs. A man with a penis for a nose. This is killer material. They’re going to love this. No. It’s stupid and it’s gay.
17:45 – “Let’s see…any more questions?”
Yeah. Loads. You’re not answering them.
Oh, he actually did answer a question. It was about ghost videos. He says that he’s not going to do it because people didn’t like the videos. Well, he didn’t say that exactly. He was much kinder to himself than I was. But he’s going to do them around Halloween. Great. We’ll look forward to that. Finally, we’ll see irrefutable proof that ghosts exist. Or we’ll just see Chris BORES filming an abandoned house for an hour.
18:45 – “You guys are asking about collabs with other people. I don’t know if they’re up for it.”
He should do a “collab” with Fred. You know, that flamer who talked in a high voice. Is he still around?
22:00 – Somebody asks what his favourite Irate Gamer episode is. “Probably the last one or the one before that.”
Uh huh.
Then he’s talking Ernie Hudson. “To get him into an episode, it took a lot.”
It’s $150 on Cameo, you fucking idiot. He wasn’t in the video. He didn’t even know that he was recording this for a video. He even says on his page that he charges MORE for videos of a commercial nature. I really doubt that Chris paid this higher rate.
“I threw like four different scripts at him and every time he was like, ‘No.'”
There’s no way. The video he recorded was just generic shit along the lines of “happy birthday” or “congratulations on the job promotion”. There is no way that Ernie Hudson thought that that was going to be used in a video.
23:45 – Chris BORES says that he wants to re-do the Back to the Future episode because it was his first one and when he watches it he thinks, “I want to change this, I want to change this.” So he actually does recognise that not everything he does is amazing. Great.
26:45 – “Am I ghost hunting now? No, because all of the lockdown stuff.”
Haha. The ghosts are all in quarantine. They’re not allowed to haunt any more. And when they do go out, which can only be for necessary trips to the ghost grocery store, they have to wear masks and stay six feet apart from each other.
Then Chris BORES says that he came up with some “Cool new communication methods” but “I don’t think that people want to hear me talking about ghost hunting too much.”
Yeah. Because we’re not fucking 19th century rubes.
27:15 – He says that he sold a lot of his retro consoles when he “retired”. One of these consoles that he sold was the “Jag-wire.”
Anyway, it goes to show that he’s not into this shit and was only doing it for the purposes of the videos.
32:00 – “I think we’re…I don’t see any other interesting things to talk about.”
The two questions that keep coming up are “Can you talk about Archfiend” and there’s one guy who keeps asking if he can review Takeshi’s Castle for the NES. He just keeps ignoring these comments but there’s nothing else that’s really being asked.
Then he starts talking about “cancel culture” and how he was the first “victim” of “cancel culture.” He paints himself as some kind of hero. But the whole thing was because he was ripping off AVGN wholesale. Not because he made some remarks that people found objectionable.
Ripping off AVGN from top to bottom is not free speech. Chris BORES is not a hero because he tried to do an exact copy of AVGN. He’s just a lazy, unemployed man who desperately jumps from one popular youth trend to another to try to avoid getting a job.
34:15 – Oh he finally answers the question about Archfiend. He says that he hasn’t watched the video.
35:15 – Somebody in the chat says, “That episode sucked. You are not good.”
He must be part of that “third party”.
And at the same time, Chris BORES is saying, “I think I only had a couple of hate comments on the last one.”
Yeah, because you banned all the “haters”.
Okay. I’m done. He’s only reading the “positive” comments. There are only four minutes left but I can’t do it.
Chris BORES might be a jam up guy but the videos are shit. You can’t sugarcoat it.
It’s the same with these gamer grrls. I don’t have anything against them personally. Not even Erin. I just think that they should stop making videos because the videos are really, really bad. They should do something else with their time. Something more productive. Something that they’re suited to.
I mean, if you like making videos, I guess there’s no harm in it, but at least realise that they’re bad. Don’t expect praise for shit videos. And certainly don’t expect money for shit videos.