https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rm8O-LGMYY
Two hours. What can be said?
Well, let’s compare this. Mike recently uploaded a nearly seven hour Super Mario Bros stream. I plan on watching the whole thing. I enjoy Mike’s streams.
But Erin is just absolutely brutal. I can rarely get ten minutes in before I have to turn it off. She’s awful.
0:30 – She claims to have played this game “off stream” with Mike, a year ago, for an hour. I don’t even believe that. But look at what she’s doing here. She’s saying this as some kind of boast. “Hey, I played this game before!” Yeah. For an hour. A year ago. For most people, that wouldn’t count for anything.
Who the fuck plays a game for an hour and then never again? I don’t think I’ve ever done that. The only thing I can think of is like roms that I’ve downloaded. You know, you download all of the MAME roms or all of the SNES roms or whatever and then I’ve gone through them and played most of them just for a few minutes, said, “Well, this sucks” and moved on.
But in terms of games that I’ve actually purchased or even just downloaded…I don’t think I’ve played any game for an hour or less. Not even really bad games. Because first of all, I’m not getting games that are bad. I’m looking at reviews, I’m looking at gameplay videos, I’m getting games that I’m actually interested in. But with Erin…she’s not remotely interested in this shit so that’s how you get these one hour playthroughs. And even then, it’s only because Mike was begging her. “If you play Gauntlet Dark Legacy with me for an hour I’ll give your channel a shout out.”
“I remember that we liked it.”
Yeah. So once again, this begs the question, why did you stop at an hour? Why did you never play it again?
Then there’s a weird edit. She’s been doing this a lot lately. What is happening in this shit that she’s editing out? It’s often something embarrassing but I don’t care enough to find out.
1:00 – Somebody from The Game Chasers, which I guess is a big Youtube channel, said, “Anything new with cum” and was then banned by the moderator. Then Mike and Erin have to correct the moderator for doing that. Basically, “Oh, no, this is (some dude) from Game Chasers. He can say whatever he wants. But the rest of you? Anything less than sycophantic praise and you’ll be banned.”
Oh this looks like shit.
3:45 – Mike asks Erin who her favourite wizard is. Erin says, “That’s a hard question.”
She’s always bad at anything that requires thinking. She has no charisma whatsoever. Not exactly fast on her feet. And he’s asking some kind of video game/nerd question so she’s completely out of her depth.
Why does he ask this shit? He must know that she doesn’t know anything about this sort of thing.
“Who’s your favourite video game plumber?”
“Ummm…that’s a hard question. I’m not sure.”
She’s fucking awful. A complete charisma black hole.
LOADS of edits in this thing. This is is fucking annoying. What is she editing out? Now I have to check.
There’s about 20 minutes that she edited out.
One thing she cut out is her stating that she’s horrible at some other Gauntlet game that she barely played.
And somebody asked if this game is like the Nintendo 64 game and, of course, she didn’t know. That was edited out too.
She wanted to put the difficulty to “easy” but Mike said to keep it on “medium”. That was edited out.
She reads from the chat. “Draw Elmo drinking acid”. That was edited out.
She doesn’t know how to enter her fucking name. That was edited out.
Mike says, “This stream is all about giant boobs.” That was edited out. And it was just this one sentence that was edited out. So she’s doing this on purpose. She’s editing out any “controversial” material.
Fuck this. I don’t want to watch this horseshit. You can’t edit out all of your stupid fucking comments. That’s the whole point of these videos.
So now there’s an edit every fucking 30 seconds. It’s ridiculous. We need to hear about what colours you like. We need to know what background characters you find cute. We need to know that X looks like Y. Don’t take that away from us.
I mean, what the fuck? If you take all of this away, what are you even left with? Let’s find out.
5:00 – Then they fucking start over. Because, apparently, they picked “the same character”. Umm….no. Mike picked a valkyrie, which I assume is the female equivalent of the warrior character, and Erin picked a sorceress, which I assume is the female equivalent of the wizard character. But because they’re both female characters, they think that it’s the same character.
5:15 – Erin says, “Be a beefy dude who could like do stuff.”
He was. He was the warrior character. But female. So valkyrie.
Fucking idiots. Neither one of them bothered to check the stats or look at the class name when they were picking a character. They just picked the characters based on appearance.
6:15 – “Ooh, look at this key.”
No prizes for guessing which one of them made this riveting comment.
6:45 – Mike reads what the game says, “Destroy generators to stop enemies.” Erin says, “There’s generators? Like heating generators?”
You know how in Gauntlet there are monster generators? And how everybody who ever played any Gauntlet game, even for as little as an hour, knows this? Not Erin.
I’m reminded of a Chinese woman I went out with. God. Horrible, horrible person. But I’d talk to her and she would make faces like she understood what I was saying. But when I asked her if she understood what I was saying, she said, “I understand about two out of every three words.”
That must be what it’s like for Erin when she’s playing video games. She doesn’t have a fucking clue what’s going on. Any video game reference goes right over her head. Mike might as well be speaking Chinese. But she still pretends to understand.
And then Mike explains what the game means by “generator”. She wasn’t even joking with the “heating generator” comment. I thought that she was joking. No. She really is that stupid. She thought that there were heating generators in this game.
7:45 – Then Erin itches her nose in the heat of battle and Mike says, “I’ll save you. Don’t worry, I’ll just do it all.”
That’s exactly what he’s doing. She just follows behind him and does fuck all. This is fucking awful. Who would want to play with somebody like this? It’s even worse than single player. He’s playing this game by himself but also has to carry this worthless sack of shit who’s just slowing him down. It has parallels to their real life.
9:45 – Then another edit.
Here’s what she edited out. She claimed to have played Fortnite for the first time recently and got first place. Uh huh. And then she played a team round with Mike and they got first place again. Uh huh.
Then Shishi says, “Please stream Fortnite Erin”.
I wonder why she edited this out. I mean, this is a big achievement. I understand that it’s quite difficult to get first place in Fortnite. And on her first time playing? That’s very impressive.
Maybe because it’s total bullshit. If she was playing Fortnite, wouldn’t it be on stream? Suddenly she’s playing video games in her spare time?
The ONE TIME she’s playing a game NOT on stream, she does amazingly well. She must have really been kicking herself. “FIRST PLACE?!?! WHY WASN’T I STREAMING THIS? NOBODY WILL EVER BELIEVE THIS!”
Indeed.
This is an even more preposterous story than Madam Fomo getting a job making a comic book.
Somebody in the chat says, “NIce you got #`1 solo first try! I never got a solo victory royal the best I have ever done was place #7”
This fucking idiot actually believes her story. He’s obviously played the game. So he knows how difficult it is. He’s obviously familiar with Erin’s abysmal video game skills. And yet, he still believes it.
Show me the video footage. I want to see this footage of Erin getting first place in Fornite. We saw how she played Doom. It was the worst Doom gameplay I’ve ever seen. And she said that it was the first time she ever played a first person shooter. Indeed, it was the first time that she ever played a game “with mouse and keyboard.”
But she got first place in Fortnite on her first attempt. And then on her second attempt, when she played with Mike. That’s quite an accomplishment. She’s come a long way.
This is why she edited this out. She knows that nobody with a brain will believe this shit.
I don’t want to fucking do this shit. I don’t want to go back and forth between Twitch and Youtube to try to find out what bullshit she edited out. Just be honest, Erin. Upload the full, unedited videos and don’t pack them with lies. That’s all I ask.
Yeah, then the game crashes and they start over. I’m not doing this.
Actually, in this Super Mario stream, Mike mentioned that they only got to the boss of the first level in this game. They were unable to beat it. First level. And these are two pro gamers. Erin got first place in Fortnite on her first attempt. And then on her second attempt.