Gamer Girls

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZB5Nom2HXmM

Fucking Erin Plays.  And again with the fucking Castlevania.  But nobody is uploading.  Two fucking weeks.

Madam Fomo was doing a stream on Youtube today but she didn’t upload it.  It was awful.  I watched for maybe…five minutes.  Something like this.  She was playing with her hair, putting it in front of her face, and then she did some “spooky” thing where she turned the lights out and peeked in and out of the camera.  She had a foot of cleavage showing and regularly rocked back, spreading her legs, and showing her crotch.  Difficult to describe but this is just bad.  Who’s watching this?  And she was already on stream for like two hours at the time I saw this.  She said that she was wrapping up and it was like 2.00 in the morning her time.

But this is Erin’s time to shine.  The video description is:

Hey guys! This time I’m playing Castlevania III but I’m not using the “help me” code. The code gives you 10 lives before continuing, unlike the usual 3, and I’ve used this is in the past. Fun little challenge for myself 🙂

Playing the game without cheats is a CHALLENGE to her.

I don’t know why she plays these games.  Pick up a fucking RPG.  That’s what all of these gamer grrls play.  It requires absolutely no skill.  That’s why they like them.  Just sit back and enjoy the story.  There’s nothing wrong with that.

But Erin keeps playing these games that require some degree of “gaming” skill.  In spite of the fact that she completely lacks any “gaming” skill and has never played a game in her life unless it was on stream, for money.  How the fuck does she think this is going to work?  We can see how it’s working.  Really, really poorly.  So when do you change it up?

No, let’s just keep playing fucking Castlevania over and over and over again.  Really poorly.   $100/month from this shit.  I don’t get it.  She makes a total ass out of herself a couple of times a week for pocket money.

0:00 – “I just started a poll.  I tweeted that I felt like playing some Castlevania”.

So play a Castlevania game, Erin.  You don’t have to tweet this out.  Play whatever the fuck you want.  You don’t have to do it on stream, for money.  Try playing a game in your spare time.  That’s what people who enjoy video games tend to do.

Then she warns the viewers that she’s not going to beat the game.  Well, no shit.  You’re not using cheat codes.

1:00 – “All the ‘help me’ code really does is give you a few more lives before you can continue.”

Ummm….no.  I believe that it gives you 10 lives instead of the usual 3.  That makes a huge difference.  The game was designed to be played with 3 lives.  Not 10.

The mere fact that even ERIN can beat the game with 10 lives, shows you how game breaking this cheat is.

1:30 – Then she just chooses “Erin” for her name.  How fucking boring.

Most people would choose a wacky name.  No, I’ll just go with Erin.  Who needs to be entertaining?

1:45 – “This feels so cozy.  This is just what I need.”

She’s *nostalgic* for something that she first did two years ago.  She’s only played this game on stream, for money.  It just doesn’t make sense.  None of it makes sense.  Don’t even try to understand the life decisions that Erin has made.

Then she’s whipping fucking every wall and saying things like “is there anything here?”.  And she says this RIGHT AFTER she went on a long rant about how she’s played this game so much.  She’s on THE FIRST LEVEL and doesn’t know it.  Her idea of playing the game “a lot” is VASTLY different to a normal person’s.  To her, playing a game on stream, for money, for…let’s say four hours is “a lot”.

Even I know where the fucking “wall meat” is at this point, and I’ve basically only seen this game through Erin’s streams.  But she’s still whipping every fucking wall.

4:45 – “No, I haven’t, Sergio.  Is that on PS2 or am I thinking of a different game.”

Horny Argentinian loser Sergio asked Erin if she played a particular game.  OF COURSE she hasn’t.  WHY DO PEOPLE EVEN ASK?  I mean, what the fuck?  These people are there EVERY FUCKING STREAM.  They see the questions.  They hear her answers.  When has she EVER said, “Yes, I’ve played that game”?

If she hasn’t made a Youtube video or done a stream of a game, she hasn’t played it.  This isn’t fucking challenging.  How can they not know this?

7:30 – “Holy water is awesome.  See, I’m finally learning that holy water is where it’s at.”

Well, you’ve only played the game a few times and always on stream, for money.  Of course your knowledge of the finer points of the game are going to be limited.  Don’t beat yourself up over it.

She actually says that Castlevania is her favourite game.  Why would she even have a favourite game?  She only plays them fucking on stream, for money.

The only consolation is that this scam that she’s pulling is not working.  How pissed off would I be if she was actually making money from this shit?

She’s there playing some ancient games, poorly, for horny losers like ShiShi and Sergio for $100/month.  How angry could I possibly get over that?  The anger is tempered by sadness.  This is a person wasting her life.  It’s self-destructive behaviour.  If she cared at all about her life, she would quit this shit and go get a job like a normal person.

Three and a half years of “hard work” and what does she have to show for it?  $100/month.  She quit her job and moved across country to live with a man she doesn’t love over this.  For $100/month.

And she’s doing a “job” that she’s miserable at.  She must hate playing these old fucking games.  I wouldn’t want to play them and I have a passing interest in old video games.  I played video games in my youth and I still play them.  But no fucking way would I play fucking 30 year old Nintendo games.  Not for fun, not for money.  Certainly not for $100/month.

She’s doing this and she hates video games.

8:15 – Then she doesn’t know which path to take…on this game that she played “a lot”.

11:15 – “I’m definitely better.  It’s just because I’ve played the hell out of this game.”

She’s played it for maybe…eight hours.  Something like this.  Always on stream, for money.  And with cheat codes.  That makes her a pro, apparently.

12:15 – “‘Goofy is a cow?’  How come everyone is talking about what Goofy is?  Like my mom texted me yesterday.  She says that my dad is trying to figure out if Goofy is a cow or a dog.  He thinks he’s a dog.”

That is quite a coincidence.  The chat is talking about something completely inconsequential and then it turns out that Erin’s mother texted her that exact same inconsequential thing only yesterday.

Putting aside the extreme unlikelihood of that, why is her mother not texting her more important things?  “Erin, I’m worried about you.  You’re only making $100/month with this fake gamer grrl scheme.  And I’ve heard the things that Mike has said about your unusual love making.  Remember that you can always come home.”

No, let’s just talk about Goofy.  Let’s talk about something that anyone can Google in about two seconds.  He’s a dog.  There.  I didn’t even have to Google it.  Everybody knows this.  Everybody knows this but apparently it’s all the rage right now to talk about what animal Goofy is.  Erin’s chat is talking about it and her parents are talking about it.

“I have not, Shishi.”

Shishi must have asked if she played a particular game.  It just doesn’t make fucking sense.  If anyone should know that Erin doesn’t play any games, it must be Shishi.

Maybe it’s like how you’re watching porn and you know the woman isn’t actually a nurse but you go with it because you’re trying to jerk off.  You convince yourself, if only for a moment, that what you’re seeing is real.

So you have Shishi there, his dick in his hand, and with his other hand he’s asking Erin “gaming”-related questions.  Because that’s his fetish.  He has a thing for 32 year old, middling-attractive women who play video games.  “Oh yeah….you ever play Donkey Kong Country, Erin?”.  “No, I’ve never played it, Shishi.”  He must just ignore the answers because it doesn’t help with the fantasy.

Well, I made it to the 20 minute mark.  There’s another hour of this shit but…I think I’ve seen enough.

Getting back to this pornography analogy, how can Shishi and Sergio possibly stay engaged for hours?  You know?  I don’t want to get crude but once you blow your load, you turn The Maddams Family off.  You don’t then watch it until the end to see what becomes of Cousin Tit.

But Shishi and Sergio stay for the entire streams.  Maybe they have difficulties ejaculating.