Born Free Movie Review – Cinemassacre

They’re not calling them “Rental Reviews” any more.  At least not in the titles.  Isn’t that just admitting that the series is unsuccessful?  “We can’t call the series by it’s title because the title is toxic.”  People associate “Rental Reviews” with bad videos.  So they have to disguise it.

I’m still waiting for Rectal Reviews.  They can talk about poop in cinema or like the biggest shit they ever took or any faecal-related pranks that they may have played.  Anything poo-related, really.  James would love that.  He’d be in his element.

Speaking of autism, go to 2:15.  James is talking about the counsellor he would see in his youth.

Born Free is the most I’ve ever teared up from a movie.  I even brought it up to a counsellor once, as a kid.  It wasn’t the reason that I was there but I would have my weekly meeting with the counsellor.  Then she said, “How have you been doing this past week”, like, “What happened?”  And I didn’t really have much that week and I said, “Yeah, I’ve been thinking a lot about this movie I saw, Born Free, and I keep tearing up over it.”  She’s like, “Oh, yeah.  That movie.  I cried because of that too.”

I assume that this is something that he went to as part of his special education classes.  I used to work in a “school”, for lack of a better term, for children with severe mental health problems and they had weekly sessions with a psychiatrist or psychologist or whatever it is.  It was normal.  Everyone did it.  These kids had serious problems so there were therapists, on staff, who the kids would see on a weekly basis, or more if needed.  I think that this is common in any special education situation.

I’ll tell you where it’s not common: normal schools.

Weekly appointments with a therapist?  Yeah, that’s special education alright.  I wish James would just say what the problem is.  Why was he in special education for seven and a half years?  What was the diagnosis?  Autism?

Maybe it will all come out in his autobiography.  I’d buy it just for that.  Well, not really.  Who’s buying books any more?  Still, I’d be interested to know.

You look at the poop obsession.  That’s clearly not normal.

But you also look at that dreadful AVGN movie with a story that was all over the place.  Same with Wizard of Oz 3: Dorothy Goes to Hell, which was very much like the AVGN movie in terms of just loads of wacky ideas all thrown in.  No coherent story.  The Board James finale was another example of this sort of thing.  It’s the product of scattered, confused thinking.  It’s clearly some mental illness.

Aside from poop, James also is obsessed with time-travel and this features prominently in his work as well.

Poop and time travel.  What does it all mean?  What mental condition gives scattered thinking?  Let me look this up.

ADHD is the first result.  Yeah, I think James mentioned that before.  But going to special education for seven and a half years for ADHD?  There has to be more to it than this.

Schizophrenia also would explain scattered thinking but probably not the poop stuff.  Poop stuff is clearly autism or something.  And if he had  schizophrenia he’d be talking about some weird shit.  You can see a good example in the videos here:

James isn’t anything like that with the manic states.  But maybe that’s being bi-polar.  She says she has schizophrenia but maybe she has other stuff too.

Back to the video.

14:30 – Kieran is amazed that lions are bigger than people.  He keeps going on about this.  “They’re huge.  They weigh more than any of us.”

I just found this hilarious.  How much does a lion weigh?  Like 600 pounds, right?  Let me look this up.

No.  Male lions are 400 pounds.  Females about 300 pounds.  So I guess he’s right.  It is kind of close.

“The two of us combined probably don’t even make up a full lion”.

He’s probably right.  Let’s say Kieran is 220 pounds.  James might be 160.  I don’t know.  I’m not good at this.  I’ll never get a job in one of those carnival booths.

Also, I like how James isn’t bothering to shave.  That’s like one of the first signs of depression.  You stop personal hygiene.  Hopefully he pulls himself together.

That’s the video.  This was a Disney film from like the 1960s, wasn’t it?  They never mentioned any of this.

No…it was from the 60s but not Disney.

There’s always something creepy about these “family” films from the 60s and 70s.  There are always like British characters and something just seems off.  Those awful Herbie movies, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, even Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

I read some sort of interview that said that they made the setting of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory intentionally ambiguous.  Like in the book, it takes place in England but in the movie you’re not really sure.  I think that Veruca Salt is English but there’s also that German kid and I think the rest of the kids are American.  But they have kind of weird accents. 

English people in American media seemed to be big in the 60s and 70s.  I wonder why.  The Beatles played a part, I guess.  But watching that shit now…I don’t know.  It’s unsettling.  It died out by the 80s so I’m just not accustomed to it.

I’m also reminded of Bentley from The Jeffersons.  It’s supposed to be an English character but the actor was American.  I showed my English girlfriend a clip of this and she didn’t even realise that he was supposed to be English.  I always thought he was, though.

Then there’s that Charles Winchester from MASH.  I always thought the character was English but no.  He’s supposed to be from Boston.  He’s putting on a Mid-Atlantic accent that was popular with wealthy Americans, perhaps especially from New England, from about the 1940s to the 1970s.  But if you don’t know this information, he just sounds kind of English.  And it’s off-putting.

Anyway, just a little accent *nostalgia*.

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