TOP TEN HE-MAN GAMES! – Erin Plays 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OlT7QrYkX5Q

Let’s see.  How many He-Man games do I know?  Well…I think that I saw Mike playing a fan-made He-Man game on stream once.  So there’s that.  Other than that, I can’t think of any.

So let’s see what ten He-Man games super gamer grrl Erin Plays thinks are the best.  Please bear in mind that she never played a video game in her spare time ever, in her entire life.  Also note, the only games that she has ever played have been either on stream, for money, or for a Youtube video, for money.  She plays these games for, at most two hours, and then never again.  So what the fuck is the point…let’s just move on.  I don’t want to get worked up already.

0:00 – “Quite a while ago, I did a video on the He-Man game for the Intellivision.”

You see?  These are her only references.  To games that she played on stream, for money or for Youtube, for money.  

“I came out of that experience with a newfound interest in the He-Man franchise.”

Oh do tell.  So you’ve been playing a lot of He-Man games in your spare time then?  No, of course not.  She doesn’t play games in her spare time.  She’s stated as such MANY TIMES.

“It was a little before my time so I didn’t grow up with it.”

Yeah.  Also, you know, not many girls were into He-Man.  I’m sure that there were some but the line was clearly geared to boys.  

And you know who else wasn’t in the target demographic?  32 year old women.  But suddenly, Erin is all about He-Man.  All because she played some shitty, ancient game for the…what was that console called…Intellivision.  Come on.  Is this at all credible to anyone?  Does this make any sense whatsoever?

What 32 year old woman suddenly becomes interested in He-Man?  And the genesis of this interest is her playing a THIRTY FIVE YEAR OLD GAME for some shitty Youtube video ONE TIME.  BRIEFLY.  

Who’s believing this?  It’s not remotely plausible.  It doesn’t even make sense.  Let’s just try to get through this.  I’m at 10 seconds.

“Since then, I’ve watched a lot of episodes of the cartoon series”

WHY??????  This is fucking horseshit.  Why would a 32 year old woman suddenly become obsessed with He-Man?  And it’s from playing…oh god.  Fuck off, you lying bitch.  This is most disgusting fucking video that she ever uploaded.  The whole thing is preposterous.  

She also claims to have watched some movie about the origin of She-Ra.  Come on.  Why?  Who’s believing this?  

0:45 – She claims that there are at least 11 He-Man video games, based on her extensive research (Wikipedia dot com).  

By the way, you know who is a fan of He-Man?  Mike Matei.  It’s just ridiculous.

Mike is playing Doom so suddenly Erin is all about Doom.  

Mike watches Star Trek so now Erin is all about Star Trek.

Mike enjoys He-Man so now Erin is all about He-Man.

It’s okay to have your own interests, Erin.  You don’t just have to copy all of the nerd shit that Mike is into.

A 32 year old woman suddenly becomes interested in He-Man.  It’s just unbelievable.  

1:00 – Then she talks about Jem and Rainbow Brite, two children’s cartoons that were aimed at girls.  But even this doesn’t make sense.  These cartoons were released before Erin was born.  

Oh, I looked it up.  It seems that Jem was still being made in 1988, which is about the year that Erin was born.  So perhaps she watching it as a zygote.

So…then she says that she’s going to look at these He-Man games.  So she’s once again telling you that SHE NEVER PLAYED THESE GAMES BEFORE.  How the fuck can this be a top ten if she doesn’t know anything about the games?  She’s going to base her opinion on playing the games for SECONDS.  What fucking good is this?

1:15 – She gives an “honorable mention” to the He-Man LCD game, which she admits she doesn’t own AND NEVER PLAYED BEFORE but she figures it must be a bad game because it’s an LCD game.  It’s a fair assumption but I wouldn’t say that without fucking playing the game first.

Then she talks about another He-Man game that she never played before.  This is some fucking shit right here.

The worst game, according to Erin, who has never played any of these games, is a Commodore He-Man game.  There’s no game footage of this.  I’m pretty sure that she just took still images from other sources.  She never fucking played this.  

Oh my god.  I can’t even do this.  This is a farce.  She doesn’t know anything about these games.  She doesn’t know anything about He-Man.  

6:00 – Oh my god.  She compares some He-Man game to the Immortal.  She must have seen the recent AVGN episode.  And the reason she compares this game to the Immortal is because the game has an isometric view.  She’s unaware that LOADS of games use an isometric view.  The only one she knows of is Immortal because she watched that atrocious AVGN episode.

7:00 – She mentions the time that He-Man fought Superman in some comic.  Let me look this up.  

DC Comics Presents #47.  Published in 1982.  It’s going for about $90.  You think that Erin read this?  There’s no fucking way.  

And right before this, she made a reference to Leonardo of TMNT fame being in Injustice Two.  There is NO WAY that she played that.  She never did a stream of it, after all.  And she clearly does not play fighting games.

She did one stream of a fighting game that I’m familiar with.  It was some Mortal Kombat game.  Holy shit.  It was something to see.  The worst gameplay you have ever seen.  She clearly has never played a fighting game before or since but here she is talking about Injustice 2.  “Oh, this is just like when Leonardo was in Injustice 2.  You guys all know about Injustice 2, right?  I’m a real gamer.”

7:30 – She talks about some Atari He-Man game that she did a Youtube video on.  Of course.

By the way, it’s clear that she never played ANY of these games.  Ever.  Not even for this video.  This is a new low.  

Oh, what do you know?  The best He-Man game is the fan game that I talked about at the start of this video.  The one that Mike did a stream on.  What a coincidence.

This was an unbelievably bad video.  Erin, do something else with your life.  This is ridiculous.  Who’s buying any of this?  

Let me check SocialBlade.

God, I love these graphs.  You get a good physical representation of Erin’s channel crashing and burning.  Yeah, she’s still getting like $100/month from this.  Why fucking bother?

Think of how easy it is to get $100.  What’s the minimum wage in New Jersey?  $10/hour.  That’s easy.  So minimum wage job, you’re getting $80/day.  And she has work experience in an office so it’s not like she’d be getting minimum wage.  She should be able to find something that pays $12.50/hour.  So there’s your $100 right there in one day.  And you don’t have to fucking humiliate yourself every day with these ridiculous videos.

Next week she’s going to do a video all about how she loves building tree houses.  And then her lifelong passion for dirt bikes.  And then a movie review of her favourite film of all time: Porky’s.

Let’s check out the no doubt fabulous comments.

– “hey can you unban me from your twitch chat? sorry about talking about c virus i just hate seeing you miserable and scared cause of corporate news bs.you’r my favorite stream please dont ban me forever ):this is mentally_illest_plays”

What a scumbag.  She bans somebody for calling her out over this coronavirus shit.  No doubt, Erin was claiming that she has coronavirus.  She seems to have every affliction known to man.  Or claims to.

– “I’d only heard of a few on this list. I’ll definitely have to check out that fan game… it looks awesome! Nice work as always!”

That was from everyone’s favourite gamer grrl: Hungry Goriya.  What a fucking shill.  She must know that Erin is a total fraud.  Didn’t she watch the fucking video?  It was obvious that Erin didn’t know about any of these games before making the video and she never played any of them.  SHE FUCKING TOLD YOU THAT SHE DIDN’T KNOW ANY OF THESE GAMES BEFOREHAND!

– “Erin, all four TMNT were in Injustice 2”

So that’s something that Erin got wrong.  One of the perils of not actually playing the game that you’re talking about.

– “Mike and her must b fighting”

Then Erin says, “Yeah with him dressed as Skeletor and me dressed as She-ra”

Then Mike says, “Erin Plays I want to be Beast Man so I can use a whip”

What a disgusting fuck.  These two scumbags deserve each other.

– “I didn’t even know there were 10 He Man games.”

That was from Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining.  Didn’t you watch the video, Pam?  ERIN TOLD YOU THAT SHE DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT THESE GAMES BEFORE MAKING THE VIDEO.  Dumb bitch.

It’s just ridiculous these fucking cretins trying to prop Erin up as a real “gamer”.  How is it possible?

You have a video where somebody is saying, “Hey guys!  I’m not a gamer!  This is all made up bullshit that I threw together in about ten minutes!”  And then these other gamer grrls leave comments, “Oh, you go girl!  Great video as always!  I learned so much.”  It just doesn’t follow.

They must not be watching the video.  It’s the only explanation.

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