Playing some original DOOM! – Erin Plays Extras

Part three of this epic trilogy.

0:15 – She decides to play on the second to last easiest difficulty level.  Frankly, I don’t recommend it for Erin.

0:45 – “I know it’s health but it looks like little jars of elixir.”

Good way to start the stream.  Some of that “X looks like Y” “comedy”.  Oh, my aching sides.

By the way, she’s hunched over here because she’s reaching for the mouse.  It’s not flattering.  I don’t remember her looking like this in the previous streams.

2:45 – “I have my shitty shotgun but it did the job.”

She’s firing a handgun.  She doesn’t know what a shotgun is, such is her total lack of experience with video games and specifically first person shooters.

3:15 – “I wonder how you get there.  I bet there’s a secret somewhere.”

Maybe she eventually figured out what “secret” means in this game and is now showing off her new found knowledge.

3:30 – “Is this already the exit?  Oh my god, we actually are already at the exit.”

She was wandering back and forth in front of this door for some considerable time.  I thought that she knew it was the exit and was just looking for extra items.

I knew it was the exit and I never played this game before.  I knew it was the exit simply from Erin’s previous playthrough of this level.  The exit doors look different.

The only Doom I played was Final Doom and I hated it.  I messed around a bit on god mode but I never attempted to play properly.  It was too difficult and I didn’t like the direction that video games were going (3d).

I was probably like 16 when I was playing this so I was in the target demographic.  But it just didn’t do it for me.  I considered myself more of a cerebral video game enthusiast.  I played a lot of PC strategy games.  So this shit, just mindless shooting, fuck off.  This is stupid.

But here we have a 32 year old woman, who never played a video game before unless it was on stream, for money, playing this old game that was made for nerdy, angry, 16 year old boys.  It’s wildly disingenuous.  No 32 year old woman, who has no interest in video games, would want to play this.  And most 32 year old women who are interested in video games, have no interest in Doom.  They’re playing different types of games.  RPGs and whatever.

If you like Doom, you like Doom, I’m not criticising anyone for that.  But I found the game to be stupid as a 16 year old boy.  I still think it’s a stupid game.  But here we have 32 year old, committed non-gamer, Erin playing this shit.  In the next stream, she’s going to be wearing a trench coat and talking about the kids who are “bullying” her.

4:00 – “I skipped all the secrets?  Okay, I’ll redo it.”

Why?  Does she even know what the secrets are?  Has she figured it out yet?  It’s just extra items and shit.

So now we have to fucking watch this again.

12:45 – “You thought I was going to play Doom Eternal?  No, but I am planning on streaming that soon.  Why am I playing this again?  Because I’m playing on a harder difficulty.”

Really?  She said earlier in the stream that if she does bad at this difficulty, she’s going to go back to easy mode.

She’s really bad at this game.  There’s no getting around it.  She needs to play this A LOT, in her spare time, to even approach being competent.  She has 25 years of lost time to make up for.  She doesn’t even know how to use the mouse and keyboard controls.  Then she has to learn the fucking maps.  She has to learn how to shoot enemies.  Strafing.  Whatever.

It will take her 25 years to catch up and by then who’s going to give a shit?  People are going to watch 60 year old Erin stream Doom?  70 year old virgins in the chat talking about how hot she is?  Sergio encouraging her to visit him in his nursing home in Argentina?  “Thank you for subscribing for 28 years, Shishi.  That means so much to me.”

13:15 – Somebody gives her a pro tip about the armour.  “See, that’s why I enjoy streaming with you guys because you tell me things that I don’t know.”

Yeah.  Or you can just read the manual.  Or learn through repeated play.  But I suspect that the main reason she enjoys playing on stream is because she’s getting paid.

It can’t be much, though.  It’s always the same few people in there.  How much does a streamer make?  Let me try to look this up.  You get wildly different numbers.

https://www.quora.com/How-much-money-do-small-100-viewers-Twitch-streamers-make

There’s some answers there.  I’d say $200/month seems about right.  Are there more than 100 viewers on her stream?  There don’t seem to be.  It’s the same seven people or so in the chat.

It just doesn’t make sense.  Why bother?  $200 from Twitch, $100 from Youtube.  This is nothing.

Is she hoping to build an audience?  It’s not happening.  People know about her channel.  It’s been aggressively promoted by the biggest retro gaming channel on Youtube.  They’re not interested.

She has no charisma, no video game experience, no video game knowledge, she’s not funny, she’s not entertaining, and she’s middling attractive at best.  What’s the appeal?  There is none.  That’s why nobody is watching.

It’s harsh but I just don’t get it.  If she was doing this out of some genuine passion, I wouldn’t make these comments.  But she’s doing this as a blatant attempt to cash in as a fake gamer grrl.  This scam is not working.  Clearly.  Try something else.  Start selling Amway or something.  It’s ridiculous.  THREE YEARS wasted on this.  When does she think this is going to take off?  She’s not getting any younger, she’s not getting any more charismatic, and she’s not getting any better at these games.

14:00 – “In my free time, I’ve been playing Doom Eternal and I’ve been liking that a lot.”

She’s really been saying this a lot.  For the first time in her life, she can legitimately (I guess) claim that she’s been playing a game in her free time, so she wants everyone to know.  “Look at me, guys!  I’m playing a video game just for fun!”  Although, she did say that she plans on streaming it so that’s not even true.  She’s only playing this so she doesn’t completely humiliate herself on stream.  Unfortunately, that ship has sailed long ago.

17:00 – “I need to move more.  I just stand there like an idiot and I get shot.”

I didn’t want to say anything but yes.

19:15 – She reads from the chat.  “‘You’re much better at this than in the first playthrough.  It’s like watching a different player.’  Well, thank you.  I just needed to get a better idea of what I was doing.”

No.  This is awful.  She’s saying this right in the middle of being lost, yet again.

23:00 – Somebody asks her if she prefers mouse and keyboard or controller when playing “FPS games”.  She says, “Well, I don’t play a ton of FPS games” (she  has difficulty saying “FPS” because she never used this term in her life) but for Doom, I did find this easier to adapt to than I thought.”

Yeah.  She’s telling you right here that the only “FPS” that she ever played was Doom.  And not for the first time.  She’s probably said this 50 times already just in these three videos.  It’s not a secret.  Why are these people asking questions like this?

Then she says that she was scared of “PC controls”, clearly indicating that she never played a PC game before.  What more does she need to say?  She doesn’t play these fucking games.  Don’t ask questions like this.

And what a fucking stupid question anyway.  Is there anyone on earth who wants to play first person shooters with a fucking controller?

24:15 – “This is more of a ‘let’s have fun learning this’ stream”.

Aren’t they all?  I mean, they’re never fun but it’s always a first (and last) playthrough with Erin.

30:00 – “I’ve never played the Super Nintendo port.  I don’t think I have.”

Let me put your mind at ease, Erin.  You haven’t.  How do I know?  Because there’s no stream or Youtube video of you playing it.

Then she says for her next Doom stream, she’s going to try it on the next higher difficulty.  Why?  Stop this shit.  Nobody wants to see this horrible gameplay.

It’s the same fucking thing with Castlevania.  She gets stuck on this game, she’s terrible at it, but she insists on running it into the ground because she has absolutely no other ideas.  “Let’s just keep playing fucking Castlevania even though I’m terrible at it.”  And then she’ll talk about how this game is “where her heart is” even though she never played it before and she only plays it on stream, for money.

I’m bored out of my fucking mind.  I can’t watch any more of this.  Let’s check out the comments.

– “Now we’re talking…wait are you playing this for this first time? Nevermind”

He edited the message.  So I think after he watched the video for a bit and saw how awful she is at the game, he added the second part to that message to express his displeasure.

– “You should download Zandronum 3.0! It’s got server browsers complete with coop, survival, Deathmatch, LMS, the list goes on, you can play any and all map mods, I was just playing Sigil today actually”

She doesn’t know what any of that shit means and she doesn’t care.  Why don’t these people get it?  She’s fucking telling you over and over again that she doesn’t play video games.

I don’t even fucking know what “LMS” is.  Oh.  Last Man Standing.  It took me a while.  This guy was trying to save precious seconds by abbreviating.

– “YES you’re going to be a DOOMER soon enough.”

Are these people not watching the videos?  I don’t get it.  Which part of this video suggested that she has any aptitude for this game?  Was it when she was always taking a few steps, stopping, taking a few steps, and repeating ad nauseam?  Was it when she would stare at an enemy for a few seconds before shooting him?  Was it when she was always lost?  Fuck off.

2 thoughts on “Playing some original DOOM! – Erin Plays Extras

  1. the link is taking to a cannot be tamed video. i wonder why erin is doing this. a game which deals with mazes and demons isn't the sort of genre that our hostess is most familiar with. she should stick to games she's more used to, this way she can wax philosophical about them and provide us with a glimpse of her profound worldview. i'm sure that's what her audience is after

  2. Thanks, I've corrected that.I don't know why she does these hardcore games. It's ridiculous. Women who are actually interested in video games (Cannot be Tamed, Bobdunga, Pelvic Gamer, whoever) are not playing these types of games. They're playing RPGs for the most part. But Erin is just totally clueless so she doesn't even know how to fake being a gamer grrl. If she played RPGs, it would be a lot more plausible.

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