Original DOOM Practice Stream – Erin Plays

Okay, let me give some background.
A couple of days ago, somebody asked if I saw Erin playing the original Doom.  I didn’t.  This guy went on to describe horrendous game play from Erin.  No surprises there.

Apparently, this guy was talking about a recent stream.  I’m not going to fucking Erin’s streams so I didn’t know.

Erin recently uploaded a Doom video to her “Extras” channel.  She starts off by referring to a previous Doom stream. I watched this Youtube video for a bit, skipped around a little, and I thought, “God, this is really, really bad.  I have to see the original that this guy was talking about.”  Because this Youtube video was made after she had already played the game for a few hours, on stream, for money.  I want to see how bad she was the first time she played.

Fortunately, it’s still on Twitch.  Unfortunately, she didn’t upload it to Youtube.  So this will be lost to the ages.  But I’ll check it out while I can.  I won’t time stamp anything because it will be gone soon anyway.

The stream starts and some guy says, “hey erin and everyone. hope this is not to rough on your wrists (emoji of Erin…I guess)”.  So she must talk about her wrist problems A LOT.  I’ve mentioned it a few times but I’m not fucking watching all of her shit.  She actually has these imbeciles convinced that she has wrist problems.  She plays video games so much, and for so many years, that she’s developed carpal tunnel syndrome.  It’s fucking ridiculous.  You don’t get carpal tunnel syndrome from playing video games three hours a week for three years.

Then she shows her ergonomic mouse to reassure this idiot that her wrists will be fine.  “I would like to use it all the time because I do need to save my wrist.”  Fuck off.  Stop playing games if it’s this damaging.

I mean really.  Think about it.  If she has a legitimate medical problem that playing video games for three hours a week will permanently damage her wrists, stop fucking doing it.  Isn’t that common sense?  She can’t give up that sweet hundred bucks a month from Youtube?  And she’s clearly not doing this out of any passion.

Even if you liked playing video games, if you have clear evidence that it’s destroying your wrists, wouldn’t you stop playing?  There’s a world of hobbies out there.  Take up gardening.  Or just play games that are less “stressful” on your wrists, like an RPG or something.

She doesn’t do these things because it’s all made up bullshit.  She likes to pretend that she has medical problems.  She likes to pretend that she enjoys video games.  She likes to pretend that she enjoys spending time with Mike Matei.

A bit later, somebody asks if she has a Discord.  She does not but says that she’s planning on starting one.  Why?  Let’s just fucking move on.  We have like three videos to look at here totalling nine hours.  I’m at the four minute mark so far.

“Remember that I’m using a keyboard and mouse so I’m getting used to this.  This is a practice stream.”

Oh god.  I covered this in another post.  By the way, I’ll have to eventually port them all over here.  I guess.  But the fact that she’s never played a game using keyboard and mouse before very clearly illustrates that she has no experience with video games whatsoever.  How the fuck did she avoid the first person shooter genre for the past 25 years?  And it’s not just that, did she play ANY PC games in the past 25 years?  They pretty much all use mouse and keyboard.  She’s only now getting around to it.  On stream.  For money.

Somebody in the chat says, “It’s awesome you’re trying something new!”

Yeah.  Video games.  That’s awesome to you?  It’s awesome to see a “gamer” play video games for the first time?  It doesn’t raise any fucking questions for you?  Fucking moron.

Oh my god.  That guy who criticised Erin’s gameplay was not exaggerating.  She takes a few steps, stops, and then takes a few steps.  Repeat until a quick death, presumably.  She doesn’t know how this controls at all.  As she said, she never played a game with a mouse and keyboard before.  It’s just unbelievable.

Who are these people lending credibility to Erin?  All of these people who talk about what a great “gamer” Erin is should be ashamed of themselves.  Mike, Joe from Gamesack, John Riggs, Tony from Hack the Movies, Pam aka Cannot Be Entertaining, Bobdunga, these people should all be driven from the retro gaming Youtube community for being total shills.  You can’t believe anything that they say.  If they’re willing to promote fucking Erin Plays as a real “gamer” they’ll say anything.  They have no integrity.

Fuck.  I have to try to download this.  This one can’t be lost.  It’s three and a half hours so I don’t think I’ll bother uploading it anywhere but at least I’ll have a personal archive of the worst Doom gameplay ever committed to video.

“I like retro.  That’s where my heart is.”

FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

She’s talking about fucking how she’s been playing Doom Eternal.  Oh, by the way, she’s playing this with the hope of being able to play it on stream, for money.  Why else?

“It’s also nice to have a game to play that’s like not on stream or for a video because it’s been so long since I’ve allowed myself to not be productive.”

Look at this.  She describes playing video games in your spare time, you know, like normal people do, as being “not productive”.  She views video games as something that she only plays on stream, for money (i.e. being productive).  By extension, she also considers playing video games, on stream, for money, as being a job.

And she doesn’t do this.  She’s telling you right here in the fucking video, for like the thousandth time, that she doesn’t play video games.  How many times does she have to say this before people catch on?  She’s not hiding it.

“And just play a game for the sake of playing a game and it’s really nice.”

She’s amazed by this.  For the first time in her life, she’s playing a game not on stream, for money, and she finds that she enjoys it.  At the age of 32.  After having this “gaming” channel for three years.

Here’s an interesting comment from Shishi: “I saw a video in my news feed ‘How do Zoom sex parties work’ like I’d click on that clickbait shit”

You want to know what the context for that comment is?  There is none.  Erin was talking about what Doom mod she’s played (answer: none).  The chat was mostly talking about the sound and video quality of the stream.  Then Shishi just starts with this weird sex comment.

He’s clearly watching these videos with his pants around his ankles and playing with his micropenis.

What am I up to with this download?  24%.  That’s not bad.  This is going to be a huge file but it’s worth it. I’ll buy an external hard drive if I have to.

Oh my god.  She’s on level two.  She goes through the first door.  Then there’s a corridor that goes east and west.  She goes east, kills some enemies, and then says, “Oh my god.  Where did I come from?”  She’s already lost.  On this tiny section of the map.

“I’m getting nervous because I’m doing this in front of people.  I’m not used to this.”

What?  She ONLY plays games with an audience.  But she’s crazy, crazy lost on this tiny level two map.

Erin reads a comment, “You’re doing great! It shows courage that you are first timing this in front of people.”

What courage?  This is ALL she does.  EVERYTHING is a first play through.  You think that’s fucking bravery?

Storming the beaches of Normandy during World War II.  That’s bravery.  That guy who stood in front of the tank at Tiananmen Square.  That’s bravery.  Playing a game for the first and last time, on stream, for money, that’s just stupidity.  Get a job.  Or make videos on something that you’re actually interested in.

Oh god.  She’s still crazy lost.  This is Mario Maker 2 levels of horrible gameplay.  I’m only 14 minutes into this three hour stream.  I can do ten posts just on this video.

Shishi says, “Erin’s gonna blow off Elmo’s head after playing this”.  This is another sex reference.   Some horndog said “shoot him in the d” a while ago.  Then Shishi made a comment like, “She’s shooting him in the head”, which was a reference to the head of his penis.  And now he makes this comment about Elmo, who’s portrayed by Mike Matei in this world.  “Blow him” refers to oral sex, “head” refers to penis, and Elmo refers to Mike.  So another stupid comment from that horny loser Shishi.

She finished the level.  Her time was 5:30.  Par was 1:15.  And it’s not like she was exploring the whole level.  Kills 60%.  Items 14%.  Secrets 0%.

Shishi says, “did your parents let you play violent games and watch violent movies?”

I don’t understand this.  Shishi watches every fucking minute of every fucking video and stream.  How can he possibly think that she played video games as a child?

Somebody asks if this game is on Steam.  Erin says, “No, I’m just playing a copy of Doom.”

She must not know what Steam is.  The game is almost certainly available on Steam.

Somebody leaves a comment, “Mike is outside, walking his D on a leash.”

Nothing gay about talking about another man’s large penis.

Erin imitates the death sound of the enemies and finds this really funny.  Well, there’s one person on earth who found it amusing.

“If I upload this, it’s going to be called where did I come from, where am I going?”

She’s lost yet again.  But this time on level 3.  And she didn’t upload this, sadly.

Somebody asks for James Rolfe’s Twitch channel.  Somebody else replies with, “James doesn’t stream… he has kids you know, and he’s busy with Cinemassacre”

Fuck off.  You can’t play games on stream, for money, once you have children.  That guy works something insane like 20 hours a month.

She sees an enemy, she looks at the enemy for a couple of seconds, and then she shoots them.  It’s the worst reflexes you’ve ever seen.

There’s a pillar.  She goes past the east side of the pillar, then the north side, then she’s at the west side of the pillar and she says, “Did I go this way?”  Then she goes through.  All she did was walk around a pillar.  She got lost walking around a pillar.

Somebody is giving her shit for titling the stream “Original Doom” instead of “GZ Doom”.  She’s playing some mod called GZ Doom that lets you use the mouse to look around.  So Erin gets annoyed and says, “Okay, so in my title I guess I should have said ‘GZ Doom’ instead of ‘Original Doom’.  I just meant it’s Doom 1.  Like the first Doom is what I meant.”

She doesn’t have a clue.  She doesn’t know what a “mod” is.  She doesn’t know what Doom looks like without this mod on it.  She never played unmodded Doom before.  She doesn’t know that you’re not supposed to be able to use the mouse in Doom.

Then all the “white knights” in the comments come to Erin’s protection.  “Doom is Doom” and whatever.  They know full well that Erin doesn’t have a fucking clue what she’s talking about.  But still they’re there watching that shit and supporting her.  They know that she’s not remotely interested in video games.  They have to know.  How can they not?  SHE’S TELLING YOU IN EVERY STREAM THAT SHE’S NOT INTERESTED IN VIDEO GAMES.  But they’re still there in every stream.  “Take my money, Erin.  You deserve it more than I do because you’re an average looking woman in her 30s who pretends to like retro video games.”  It’s insane.

90% downloaded.  Fuck.  Come on.

No, I can’t watch any more.  I’m at 30:00.  That’s enough.  I’m going to let this finish downloading, though.  Maybe…I don’t know.  Maybe something happens.  But what can possibly happen?  She’s not going to suddenly get good.  And what can she say?  She’s already admitted several times in the first 30 minutes of this video that she’s not interested in video games.  What else do you need?  What more does she have to say to convince people that she’s not interested in this shit and she’s only doing it for money?

Maybe if she holds up a sign saying, “I don’t give a fuck about video games.  Just give me your money, you stupid, horny losers.” that will finally get through to them.  Shishi would still be there, though.

6 thoughts on “Original DOOM Practice Stream – Erin Plays

  1. Maybe if she holds up a sign saying, “I don't give a fuck about video games. Just give me your money, you stupid, horny losers.” that will finally get through to them. Shishi would still be there, though.doubtful. there's a whole subculture of loser men willing to be humiliated by women. the thought of real sex is so far removed from their reality that they are content to just get any sort of response from their object of worship. like that man who commented that he watched erin plays because he liked to picture himself in the same room as erin. he admitted that it was a pathetic way of fulfilling his fantasy, but apparently that is good enough for him.

  2. Go to 2:49:15 if you want to see something truly horrifying that eclipses any 'fake gamer girl' moment from Erin ever.The ceiling has the correct path you need to walk since there's invisible tiles leading to a key, but Erin can't process that whatsoever, she walks straight for the key and falls and can't get the key. This is after someone in chat tells her what to do (she reads out someone saying “follow the light pattern on the ceiling”). At 2:50:09 she leaves the room and goes “ok here's lights” … wtf2:50:20 “So I just keep walking? Oh the blue lights, okay” then she falls, trying to go straight for the key. HOW does she not process this 'puzzle' at all?2:50:35 “Go this way?” 2:50:50 Seems like someone is telling her exactly where to step and it seems like she finally got it but she falls and still tries to get the key even after falling.

  3. I believe that would be something even James Rolfe could easily figure out… I wonder what that says about her…PS: jocorobo1, I advise you to use the Minds platform in case something goes wrong with your blog.

  4. Yeah, that's hilarious. I've never seen this level but I've heard about it. I didn't realise how obvious the lights are. Even after she stumbles her way through, she still doesn't understand what happened. And she didn't do it right. It's unbelievable.

  5. That does seem to be a huge part of the audience and when you actually read the chat, it's shocking. These people have never even spoken to a woman.

  6. Yeah, I looked at like anonymous blog hosts but a lot of these little sites close. I figure Google isn't going anywhere any time soon.And it's not like what I'm doing is some controversial stuff. I'm reviewing Youtube videos. It's hardly Al-Qaeda. So nothing should happen. Although, there was difficulty with Reddit so it's not really a matter of right and wrong. They just do what they want. Anyway, if it gets shut down I'll try Minds. Then there's the issue of how anyone can find it. If the sub is still up, I'll advertise there. Otherwise, just Google the names of recent Erin Plays videos.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *