Gamer Girls

It’s on a stream that she won’t upload but you can see it on Twitch at the moment.  The name of the video is “Just chatting/Bust-A-Move SNES because carpal tunnel sucks”.  I downloaded a copy.  I wish I would have downloaded that Gauntlet stream where she says that she got first place in Fortnite on her first attempt.  And then again on her second attempt.  Nobody’s going to fucking believe that she said that now.  And she edited this out of the version she put on Youtube.  I wonder why.

7:15 – “So this stream is going to be mostly just chatting, I think, because my carpal tunnel issues have been pretty bad.”

Oh, that’s terrible.  I’m sorry to hear that, Erin.  Can we see the diagnosis?

I mean, carpal tunnel syndrome is a specific medical condition.  You need to go to the doctor and get a proper diagnosis.  The doctor will then prescribe a treatment plan.  If it’s determined that playing video games is what’s causing the problem, the doctor will probably say, “Stop playing video games.”

But Erin just throws it out there.  “I HAVE CARPAL TUNNEL, GUYS!”  How does she know it’s carpal tunnel?  Hands hurting can be from any number of things.  Maybe she has arthritis.  It’s not just for the elderly.  Maybe she has a sprained wrist.  Maybe she has Raynaud’s.  I’m starting to get into obscure ones but there’s a whole list of stuff that it can be if you search for “hand pain”.

No, it’s carpal tunnel.  She’s convinced.  Self-diagnosis.

“I’m trying to give my hands a break because I’d like to film a video that involves me playing a game for like, you know, two hours.”

She rolls her eyes when she says “two hours”.  Two hours of playing a video game is a long time to her.  And it’s this two hours a week of video game playing which caused her to develop carpal tunnel syndrome.

WHO’S BUYING THIS?

What with coronavirus and all, I’ve been playing video games as much as 12 hours a day.  And I’m not in some pink “gamer chair”.  I’m laying down on a sofa.  No problems.  Hands feel fine.  And I’ve been playing video games regularly for over 30 years.

She actually thinks that two hours is a long time.  She rolled her eyes because she doesn’t want to do this.  She really, really hates this.  She hates playing video games.  But this is what she fucking decided on.  One day, she just woke up and said, “I’m going to be a fake gamer grrl on Youtube.”  It’s fucking crazy.  What made her decide to do this?

It’s like you wake up one day and decide, “I’m going to be a country music superstar.”  Have you ever played an instrument?  No.  Do you even like country music?  No.  But this is your new goal.

It just doesn’t make any sense.  This country music dream would be doomed to failure just like Erin’s gamer grrl dream has been a complete and total failure.

7:30 – Somebody in the chat asks, “Can you get your hands operated?”

That’s a good question.  Aren’t there surgeries to help with carpal tunnel syndrome?  Why isn’t Erin looking into this?  Crippling hand pain?  I’d be at the doctor that day.

By the way, I know that watching this on Twitch isn’t good because it gets deleted in two weeks but I’m enjoying the experience because I get to see what the losers in the chat are saying.  And you know what loser is conspicuously absent?  Shishi.  What the fuck?  Is he okay?  I’m worried.

NewWaveJunkie is there, though.

8:45 – She’s reading another question.  “Is there an operation that you can get on your wrist?  Probably but I don’t know if it’s to that point yet.”

So fucking get it checked out.  What’s the problem?  Go see a fucking doctor.  If you’re in this much pain that you can’t play a video game for TWO HOURS, it’s time to see a doctor.

9:15 – “IHaveAnErection4You” is in the chat, everybody.”

Why even mention this?

10:00 – “Do I wear contacts?  I wish I wore contacts.”

What is her problem?  GO SEE A DOCTOR!  This shit can all get sorted.

“One thing that sucks about doing a ‘just chatting’ stream is that there’s more trolls but what are you going to do?”

You saw her busily banning people.  I don’t know what what was said, though.

10:45 – “I like Bust A Move because it’s like I can not put a lot of pressure on the controller.  Like I usually do that if I’m playing a game that’s stressful like if I play Castlevania or Wanpaku Graffiti.”

Why is she still calling this game “Wanpaku Graffiti”?  Has nobody corrected her?

And she did a “Wanpaku Graffiti” stream a few days ago.  She called the weapon that the character uses a “club”.  And then when Shishi said, “Isn’t it a cleaver”, she said, “Is it a cleaver?  It looks like a club to me.”

She doesn’t even know what the fucking weapon is in one of her favourite games of all time “Wanpaku Graffiti”.  She also doesn’t know what the name of the game is.  It’s a cleaver, by the way.  Anyone with a brain, who has passable vision, and has played a video game before, can see this.

She only played this game within the past year or so.  She did a Halloween Youtube video on it.  Then she streamed it a couple of times.  That’s it.  That’s her only experience with this game.  But now she’s talking about it like she plays it all the time.  SHE PLAYED IT THREE FUCKING TIMES!  ON STREAM OR FOR A YOUTUBE VIDEO!  FOR MONEY!  THAT’S IT!

And she got carpal tunnel syndrome from this.

Then somebody asks her if she played the new Bust A Move on Switch.  Of course she hasn’t.  DID YOU SEE A VIDEO OF IT, YOU FUCKING IDIOT?  THEN SHE HASN’T PLAYED IT!

What is wrong with these people?  They’re there every fucking day and they haven’t figured it out yet.  She does not play games unless it’s on stream, for money.  What’s so hard about this?  I figured it out on day 1.

Then she says that she thinks that Mike bought it and “We were going to play it but then we totally forgot about it.”

What she’s talking about here is that they were going to play on stream, for money.  I mean, what the fuck?  This is ridiculous.  Who does this with their life?  This is the dumbest fucking shit ever.

It’s not even working.  That’s what makes this so baffling.  She’s doing this fake gamer grrl thing FOR PENNIES!

If she was making $50,000/year or something, I would get it.  That’s a fair amount of money, you only have to work maybe five hours a week doing this thing that you hate.  Fine.

She’s doing it for a hundred bucks a month.  And she’s getting fucked in the ass on the regular by a man she doesn’t love over this.  It’s insane.  Who the fuck does this?  What is wrong with her?  It’s not carpal tunnel syndrome.

“There’s just too many games.”

Yeah.  And you’re not playing any of them.  Unless it’s on stream, for money.

14:00 – Somebody asks what her favourite console is.  She says the NES and Vectrex.  She only bought a Vectrex maybe a year ago.  For a Youtube video.  For money.  She never played it before this.  And she never played this thing other than for that video.  It’s fucking ridiculous.

“Speaking of Vectrex, I would like to do a Vectrex video.”

Come on.  I’m fucking sick of this shit.  Just stop making videos.  Get your fucking life together.

17:00 – “Can you do Kid Icarus?  Yeah, I haven’t played that.  I can stream that.”

It’s just so fucking stupid.  Why do these people want to watch a middling attractive 32 year old woman play video games, poorly, for the first and last time, on stream, for money?

And why is she doing this?  Nothing about this makes sense.  There’s no fucking money in it.  She clearly has no interest or knowledge.  Why continue?

I can understand giving it a shot.  I guess.  If you’re so grossly misguided that you think that you can just be a fake gamer grrl and people are going to throw money at you, fine.  You can try.

I can even understand moving in with Mike.  She was still trying to make this fake gamer grrl thing work.  So move in with the guy who owns Cinemassacre.  He can give your channel a big boost.  You can start making big people money.  Great.

But we’re like two years into this now.  It’s not working.  It’s never going to work.  At what point does she figure this out and move back with her parents in California?

She’s doing these horrendous fucking videos for the same handful of horny nerds.  And she’s getting paid $100/month and all the butt sex she can handle.  Can anyone explain this?  It’s maddening.  Why embarrass yourself like this?  Just get a fucking job like a normal person.  This is not working.

I’m done with this shit.  The chat isn’t working for me anyway and it’s annoying as fuck.  It’s not automatically refreshing.  I have to keep scrolling.

Let me see if ShiShi ever enters, though.  Skip around.

Oh here’s a good one:

31:00 – “Do I like the East Coast better?  I like it.  It’s a different vibe.  I’ll always be a California person but I do enjoy the East Coast.  It’s nice to have a change of scenery.”

I like how this horny loser used “East Coast”.  That’s Erin’s bizarre expression for where she lives.

And look at how she answers.  It’s all about her.  She likes having a different change of scenery.  Nothing about Mike.  “Yeah, I like spending time with the love of my life Mike.  I’d move anywhere to be with him.”

No, it’s just about the scenery.

Then she stops the stream so that she can get an arcade stick and a Red Bull.  Because her carpal tunnel is so bad now that she can’t even play Bust A Move on a regular controller.  And she needs Red Bull to stay awake playing this boring as fuck game that she hates.

By the way, I like Bust A Move but for Erin, this is a boring game and she hates every second of this.

Oh yeah.  Here’s Shishi.  He does enter.  He says “theyre so cuuuuuuuuuute”.  I don’t know what he’s referencing but yeah.  He does appear.

Oh, Sergio is here too.  The whole gang of horny losers is here.  Great.

44:00 – “Erin should stream the South Park RPG game?  What was that on?”

She never heard of it.  Of course.  It was on everything, Erin.

1:04_00 – She’s explaining her grossly misinformed understanding of Bust A Move and then she says, “I don’t know the lore because I’m a fake fan!”

Well, obviously.  But she’s saying this sarcastically.  I just don’t get it.  Is it possible that she thinks that she’s into video games?  How?  She only started playing them three years ago when she started the fucking Youtube channel.  And she only plays if she’s getting paid.  How can that possibly make her a video game fanatic?

Then she tells the same boring as fuck story about how she played Mario All Stars as a kid (allegedly) and she wanted to compare it to the earlier Mario games so she got an NES and blah, blah, blah.

Watch that video where she plays Mario Maker 2.  She never played a fucking Mario game in her life.

1:10:00 – “It’s funny that I didn’t get into retro at a younger age.”

Yeah.  Funny.  Or at any age.  She considers herself “deep into retro” now?  How is it possible?

Then ShiShi says “little Erin is adorbs” and “wow Erin was preserving retro as a kid”.

Umm….I don’t need to say anything here.

1:16:00 – “There are some people who can’t fathom liking stuff from before you were born.”

Then she goes on to say that she worked in a music store and some woman was surprised that Erin knew who Bruce Springsteen was.

Yeah.  This is what Erin is interested in.  Music.  She wasn’t working in a video game store, after all.

Shishi says, “those people are LAMES (weird emoji face)”

Then Erin discloses that she was about 25 when she was working in this store.  She was 29 when she started the Youtube channel.

So yeah, she didn’t have any kind of great career going.  She allegedly has a degree but it’s in English so even if it’s real, that’s useless.  So she’s working in this music store.  It’s not a job that you want to be doing as a college graduate.  Or even without college.  That’s something that young people do as a first shitty job.

Yeah.  You start to understand her desperation.  That’s why she just decided to try to be a fake gamer grrl.  Whatever.

I mean, it’s sad.  But there are jobs out there.  You have to look.  You have to find something.  Opportunities arise.

Even if she just stayed with the music shop, she could have become a manager or something.  And then maybe manage a different store.  There are options.  Things happen.

But she just quit and went with the fake gamer grrl on Youtube idea.  Nothing is going to happen with this.

“Or like when people give me shit, ‘This girl isn’t old enough to know about the Vectrex’  It’s like, no shit it came out before I was born but that doesn’t matter.  You can still get into…you can learn about things and have interests in things.”

She doesn’t seem to understand what the issue is.  It’s not that you can’t like things that came out before you were born.  It’s that YOU don’t.  You personally are not interested in this shit.  You bought the fucking Vectrex LAST YEAR for the purposes of making a couple of Youtube videos.  That’s it.  You haven’t touched that thing since.

1:34:00 – Mike enters with his Elmo puppet.

Shishi says, “I can see Elmo peepee.”

Ummm….I don’t need to say anything.

1:43:00 – She’s again going on about “the East Coast” and how “it’s a different vibe” and “it’s probably healthy to live in other places” but that she misses “Southern California”.

Don’t worry, Erin.  I predict that you’ll be back there within…I’ll say 12 months.