https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7FOYzCk0Jec
I’ve already watched this over my break. I’m not going to watch it again just for the purposes of this review. That would be insane.
But Tony has taken over the Rental Reviews set and show. He’s there with some guy and they’re talking about this movie Wishmaster.
I’m all for it. It’s actually watchable. I never even heard of this movie and I hate horror movies generally but I still watched all 50 minutes and was moderately engaged. This is more than I can say for many of the later Rental Reviews.
The problem is James Rolfe. He’s a complete personality black hole. He can’t talk. At all. He has autism or something.
I’m sympathetic but that’s the reality, that’s why everything he touches turns to shit, and that’s why he should find another career.
It reminds me of this woman who had Tourettes Syndrome and they gave her a job doing those little announcements between shows. “Stay tuned for Mama’s Family!” or whatever. But this is in the UK so no Mama’s Family.
She always said “biscuit” every few words. It was annoying as fuck. But the network was trying to be “progressive” by hiring this completely incompetent woman and the woman no doubt felt “empowered” by this. “Oh, look at me. I’m raising awareness about Tourettes Syndrome. We can do anything!”
No. You have to know your limits and play to your strengths. There are things you can do as somebody who has Tourettes Syndrome. Television announcer should not be one of them. If you can’t read text without inserting the word “biscuit” every few words, forget it. There are other jobs out there.
Similarly, I’m sure that James Rolfe is a heck of a guy but he should not be doing unscripted anything. He can’t engage in a normal conversation. First of all it’s a skill, a skill that he doesn’t have. Secondly, the man has autism.
I have difficulties with conversation too. So years ago, I was looking for a list of jobs that you can do which don’t require talking to anyone. It was like data entry, security guard, caretaker at a cemetery, shit like this.
I’ve done these sorts of jobs and I’ve also done jobs that required more talking. There’s no question that I greatly preferred the caretaker type jobs and was much better at them than I was at the Walmart greeter type jobs.
So I recommend that James takes a similar approach and finds a job that’s suitable for him. Youtube superstar is not it. Certainly not with this non-scripted material.
Back to the video, it’s whatever. Tony and this guy are perfectly capable of having a semi-intelligent conversation about this movie. Great.
Unlike Reddit, I didn’t rage over this new guy. “Who is this guy? I don’t know who this! Fuck this new guy!” Because I’m an adult.
Also, I didn’t rage over Tony’s attempt to sell Hack the Movies clothing. It’s obviously done as a parody but these fucking idiots on Reddit don’t seem to get it.
So that is Hack the Movies Presents Rental Reviews. Or whatever. Kieran was teased as being the “special guest” next time. They’re going to do Wishmaster II. That seems a poor choice to me. Give us something different. But whatever. As long as James Rolfe is kept away from this, I’m all for it.
And it does raise some questions about why Rental Reviews stopped in the first place. Tony obviously still wanted to do it. Kieran obviously still wants to do it. Justin seemed to want to do it in the final episode. It’s just Rainman who didn’t seem to want to be there. So we have to assume that he ended it.
I don’t even like James’ scripted stuff. So whatever. Fuck him. Get a job at Jiffy Lube and turn the channel over to Screenwave.