https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jv5aH7hkJtY
When I saw the title, as a sort of joke to myself, I thought, “Oh great, another Cameo video.”
Then I previewed the video. Just scrolled through looking for this guy to make an appearance. That’s exactly what this is. He paid this guy for a Cameo video. Just like he did with that dreadful Ernie Hudson Ghostbusters video. And effectively, that’s what the AVGN “crossover” video was too.
This is fucking terrible. Somebody needs to tell him. But I suppose people told him that the Irate Gamer videos were terrible and it still didn’t put him off. Somebody surely told him the ghost hunting videos are terrible but he still makes them. Same with Puppet Steve. Some people just can’t be reached.
Chris BORES, I think in the video where he talks about the “behind the scenes” AVGN “crossover” discussed his dealings with Ernie Hudson. BORES says that he sent numerous “scripts” to Ernie Hudson, who rejected all of them, before finally agreeing to the last one. And the last one, as Chris BORES himself said, was just some kind of vague, generic stuff. It wasn’t actually related to the video.
Chris BORES was not in any kind of direct contact with Ernie Hudson. He was talking to him through Cameo. If you’re unfamiliar, Cameo is a website where you can get “celebrities” (often in the loosest sense of the word) to read a personalised message. So it’s like 90% birthday greetings or congratulating somebody on their job promotion or shit like this. You’re able to give these “celebrities” a general outline of what to say but you can’t give them a fucking script. They’re not going to memorise lines for the fifty bucks or whatever they’re getting paid. So that’s why Ernie Hudson kept rejecting Chris BORES’ “scripts” and why the end Cameo video is just rambling, bizarre, nonsense.
Just watch any of these Cameo videos. These “celebrities” put no effort into them whatsoever. They’re unbelievably bad. These people should be ashamed of themselves for taking money to produce such low effort trash. It will be some “celebrity” taking a video on his/her phone while driving or doing other shit. They’re wearing some pizza-stained shirt. They haven’t shaved in days. They’re fucking awful. But they’re not getting paid much (by the standard that they’re accustomed to) so this is what they do. Just give me the money, I’ll do the bare minimum, now fuck off.
Also, I’m pretty sure that these Cameo videos can’t be used for commercial purposes (e.g. a Youtube video).
Anyway, let’s get to this no doubt awful video.
TWENTY MINUTES? Fuck off. What is this even about? The history of the TMNT arcade game and NES game? What the fuck does a voice actor from the cartoon have to do with anything? Well, he’s not going to say anything interesting anyway. Maybe just wish Chris BORES a happy birthday.
0:00 – It starts off with two weird, short ads. Did he get paid for these? He must have. But somebody paid for a 10 second ad?
I think it’s like you put a referral link in the description of the video and then if somebody clicks on this link, you get 1/10 of a penny or something like this and if they then make a purchase, you get a small cut. So no, nobody is actually paying for this ad directly. Nobody approached Chris BORES and asked him to advertise anything. This is just a referral link thing.
0:15 – “Hey gamers. Welcome back. As you can tell, we’ve had quite an amazing season already. Ernie Hudson. AVGN. How can you top that?”
Don’t tempt me, Chris BORES. I can go on.
And I hate how people on Youtube refer to their shit as “seasons”. Just make the fucking videos. There aren’t any seasons. You’re not making 16 “episodes” a year. You don’t go on summer hiatus. There are no reruns. You make this shit year round or whenever you feel like it. There’s absolutely no change from one season to the next.
0:30 – Oh my god. Then the Cameo video starts. This is just sad. It’s an elderly man, unshaven, wearing a beat up baseball cap and a t-shirt, possibly in a public park, where he possibly lives. This is awful. Does Chris BORES have no shame?
This is like fucking Bum Fights. Some asshole pays homeless men a sandwich or whatever to fight each other.
Let me check how much this actually cost him. It was $70. He gave this hobo $70 and said, “Dance for me, monkey. Read my shitty ‘script'”.
It’s disgusting. It’s supposed to be for birthday greetings, you fucking idiot. If you want them to appear in your video as an “actor” in some kind of commercial endeavour, contact their…whatever…agency and pay them the appropriate remuneration. There are consequences for these people if they’re doing unauthorised “acting” jobs. They can lose their Screen Actors Guild membership.
But Chris BORES doesn’t care. He just said, “Hey, I’ve got $70. How about I give it to some old man WHO NOBODY EVEN KNOWS and get him to read my shitty ‘script'”?
0:45 – After this hobo introduces himself in a really “cringy” way, he says, “I would like you to review the Ninja Turtles arcade game, dude.”
Oh my god. This video. I might have to stop. This is fucking deplorable. I don’t want to watch this and I don’t want to talk about it. I’ll try to press on.
Oh fuck. Then it cuts to Chris BORES. “Whoa whoa whoa! Rob Paulsen on the Irate Gamer show?”
Well, not really. You paid seventy bucks for a Cameo. And I’m pretty sure that this guy doesn’t know that his footage is going to be spliced into the video. And who the fuck is this guy? Are we really pretending that Rob Paulsen is some kind of household name?
“What the bite?”
I don’t even know what this means. Is that what he said? I couldn’t really figure it out. Bite? Buddy? I don’t know. Nothing makes sense.
Then it’s back to the Cameo video and the guy introduces himself again. So I don’t know what this is. Did Chris BORES pay for two Cameo videos? And then he says, “Don’t I look good for my age?” and Chris BORES says, “That you do” and then we’re on to the review.
So…this is just bad. This is terrible editing. The guy starts the fucking Cameo video, makes a little introductory joke, and then…over to you Chris BORES. What kind of fucking segue is that? But he’s doing the best he can with this fucking Cameo video, which the guy doesn’t know is going to be used for a Youtube video, and he’s treating this like a birthday wishes video. Because that’s what Cameo is for. Birthday wishes. You start with a little jokey commentary, then you say, “Happy birthday, Mildred” or whatever. Everything about this is awful.
1:00 – “Irate Gamer style, baby” and he makes a dumb face. And the acting is just awful. As ever. Then the intro starts.
God, I mean…we didn’t even start the intro yet? I have another 19 minutes of this? This is just fucking terrible.
And his intro now says, “Irate Gamer (inspired by AVGN)”.
There was a time when James Rolfe might have appreciated the recognition. But at this point, if I was Rainman, I’d be telling Chris BORES to remove my name from his videos. I do not want to claim any responsibility for the work of Chris BORES.
2:00 – Chris BORES in front of his arcade collection. I think that they’re all Aracde1Ups. The TMNT one definitely is. I don’t know much about this stuff but isn’t that like…cheap shit? Yeah, it’s $370 at Walmart. $370 for a full size arcade machine? How bad must the quality be at that price? The monitor by itself should be what…$200 at least? Then four joysticks and four sets of buttons. That’s going to be what? $50 each for a mid-range set. We’re already up to $400. It must be fucking pressed wood at that price but still, that’s going to cost at least…I don’t know…$50? Then there’s the electronics and the wiring and the marquee on all the art shit and t-molding and whatever. Plus the licensing.
You get all of that for $370. How many concessions must have been made to get it down to that price point? It must be a total piece of trash.
Who would even want that in their home? Because now you have a big piece of shit taking up space. How much are you going to play it? Can you put other games on these things?
Why not just get the original arcade machine if you’re such a fan? Chris BORES has money. He’s making like $300,000/year with his Puppet Steve shit. I’m seeing one for $3,300. That should be nothing for a guy making $300,000/year.
But no, he’s just going to fill his house with trash. “Look at what a gamer I am!” And he admitted in a recent video that he sold all of his video game shit after he stopped making Irate Gamer videos. They were just props. That’s what this shitty Arcade1Up is for him.
And he keeps fucking showing this thing off. He tells a story about how he played the game at the arcade as a child and he’s making out like it’s this machine that he played. It clearly wasn’t.
3:45 – “The only downside to this game is that it didn’t feature the original voice actors from the cartoon.”
Really? This is how we’re going to tie this all together? The game had primitive voice abilities. They couldn’t get the guy’s voice into the game even if they wanted to. Fucking idiot.
So then it’s back to Cameo. And this hobo just says some lines from the tv show. It’s totally unrelated to anything. Then the video abruptly stops right before he wishes Chris BORES a happy birthday.
That’s clearly what’s happened here. The guy was told to give some kind of generic message, same as with the usual happy birthday shit, and then Chris BORES “artfully” edited this into a video. This guy doesn’t know that this is being used for commercial purposes.
You can watch other videos on the site. It follows the same pattern. He does some voices of cartoon characters that he did and then he wishes the person a happy birthday.
Back to BORES.
4:15 – “That’s so cool. Can we keep him here as a permanent fixture?”
It’s totally disingenuous.
1. It’s not cool. It’s pathetic and this video is horribly done.
2. It’s a Cameo video.
3. The man does not know that this is being used for commercial purposes.
I’m done. I can’t watch any more. This is fucking shit. On so many levels.
Top comment is “Someone is dropping money into Cameo…”
“So a paid shoutout video qualifies as “being on the show” huh… cool…”
Yeah. I mean, give us some credit. Saying this shit is insulting our intelligence.
Haha. Here’s a good exchange:
Craig Holmes: This guy continues to be a huge D-bag. It has nothing to do with his horrible imitation of AVGN and everything to do with the annoyance factor. Yeah I could pay Rob Paulsen $65 and have him be a guest on my YouTube video too. It’s called Cameo.
Chris BORES: Why you have to continue to be so negative? I’m finally able to enjoy what I love doing without all the drama for once. You don’t like it, you aren’t forced to watch it. You must be the life of the party with that attitude.
Craig Holmes: Chris NEO – The IRATE Gamer because you suck
Chris BORES: who are you trying to convince, yourself or my fans? because my fans are fed up with the hundreds of bullies like yourself telling them what to think over the years just because you are unhappy with your own life you have the need to control others. And now that I’ve done a collab with the very person you guys all tried to pit against me, in the end it didn’t work and now all your arguments fall flat and your just left with anger. How did Yoda put it, Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. Let it go dude, you deserve peace in your life. Peace out!
BORES is completely delusional. If you don’t like his shit videos, you’re “negative”. Maybe the videos are bad. Can’t we say that? Is expressing an opinion “negative”? Chris BORES is being negative by unleashing this trash into the universe.
And BORES talking about his “fans”. Come on. Who the fuck is a Chris BORES fan?
If you don’t like his videos, you’re a “bully” and “negative”. Why can’t he just accept criticism? These videos are terrible. This Cameo shit is just wrong. He’s wronging the “celebrities” doing the Cameo and he’s wronging the audience by presenting this as some kind of guest star. The “guest star” doesn’t even fucking know that he’s appearing in the video.
He ends his message by quoting from that great philosopher: Yoda.
At least BORES didn’t delete the comment so credit for that.
Who can be the next “guest star”? Let’s check Cameo.
Wow. Kim Fields for only £75. They give the price in pounds and I don’t want to convert. She’s the only Facts of Life person on here. But who else do you need? She must have been an E cup in the later seasons. Sadly, she’s covered up in all of these birthday videos.
I wish this was better organised. Give me some useful categories. “80s tv shows”, for example.
Ooh. Marina Sirtis for £125.
Deedee Mango for £55!
David Faustino for $40. He used a picture from at least 20 years ago for his profile. A lot of these people seem to do that. Melissa Gilbert used one of her as a child. She’s like 80 now.
Jonathan Frakes for £166. Mr Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction himself. I don’t recognise his profile picture at all. It’s Photoshopped to hell. £166.
You know, I bet Chris BORES could do a Star Trek reunion from Cameo. Jeri Ryan is also here. She’s £300, though. Wow. She’s looking rough. Not in her profile picture, though. That thing was taken 30 years ago.
Robert Picardo? Oh yeah. He was that hologram doctor on Deep Space Nine. He was also the gym teacher in Wonder Years. Sadly, I already checked, and nobody from Wonder Years on here. Robert Picardo is £80.
So yeah. Good idea for Chris BORES. He could review…whatever…Star Trek: The Next Generation for the Genesis. And have all of these people guest star. Remember to edit the “happy birthday” part out.
I didnt know he did a turtles voice. I knew he was wakko and pinky. I watched a Ted talk he did. It was pretty good. I wonder how much Rob Paulson charges. Think he does birthday parties? I wouldn't mind meeting him. Or maybe the guy who does Farnsworth from futurama? Voice acting seems like it would be fun. Except anime. Screaming and grunting all the time. I played persona 5 recently and I noticed they make all sorts of reaction sounds. Like 6 different gasps. I hadnt realized how much grunting and gasping is done in voice acting until I looked into it. Cowabunga