Gamer Girls

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMrqAEwEpNE

I was watching this at like 11:30 in the evening and then I fell asleep after like eight minutes.

I woke up at 3:00 am and started watching again.  I made it to about the 15 minute mark.

Then I woke up at about 6:00 and decided to try again.  I fell asleep with about five minutes left.

Then in the morning, having been fairly refreshed, I was able to finish the video.

I actually fell asleep THREE TIMES while watching this shit.  That’s a personal record.

I don’t get the reference.  I’ve never seen the movie.  

And the game reviews…I don’t even understand it.  He’s reviewing casino games but then there’s a long review of a Roadrunner game?  Okay, Roadrunner is in the desert.  Jimmy is pretending to be in the desert.  Fine but…it just seems out of place.

There are so many casino games out there.  Couldn’t they review even one of them to a competent level?  It’s just “Here’s blackjack.  If you know how to play blackjack, you know how this game is.”

If that’s all that you can come up with, why even “review” the game?  

I expected Casino Kid to be in there.  No.  But surely there would be shit to talk about with that game.  It wasn’t just the casino games.  It had RPG elements.

And didn’t they review other games too?  The video is all a hazy dreamscape to me because I kept passing out.  Let me check.

Oh yeah.  Pac-Kong for the Atari 2600.  Why?  It wasn’t even a review.  Was this a joke or reference that I didn’t get?

I get that the character is high but…I don’t know.  

And yeah, that LSD game for Playstation or whatever.  Again, they didn’t review that either.  It was all just part of some joke.  I guess.

There were also a lot of references to previous games from previous AVGN episodes.  And there’s a lot of *nostalgia* and time-travel and special education level hippie philosophy and shit like this.  

It was just James being up his own ass.  Speaking of which, he used the phrase “shit seeker” at least twice.  He really likes this term.  In an episode of The Overanalyzers, he goes on an extended rant about how the Easter Bunny or somebody is a shit seeker and how he’s actively seeking shit in his own anus and…fuck.  It’s not funny.  It’s disgusting and the product of a diseased, mentally challenged mind.

And the fucking green screening.  Tony from Hack the Movies was in this video but it was all filmed separately because James is petrified of getting a cold.  So there’s weird green screening throughout this.  But they each filmed this separately and then spliced it together.  So it looks like they’re in the same car, for example, but they filmed it separately.  It’s off-putting.

With all of that said, I can’t say that it was bad.  I guess.  There was a definite absence of good, though.  

There were just so many problems with it.  The reviews were shit. I hate how Jimmy is shitting his pants, probably literally, over covid.  I didn’t see the movie so I didn’t get of the references, if there were any to get.  And it was just an excuse to do some “I am an art-eest” philosophical bullshit.  

You know what might have worked?  A review about some casino games.  Like this one:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vHChsjw9CMs

A camp black man reviewing Casino Kid, after having played the game for only five minutes, is more interesting than that AVGN video.  I didn’t fall asleep even once.

It’s not challenging stuff.  But everything has to be a big dumb production with stupid skits.  The reviews don’t even matter and haven’t for many, many years.  Jimmy just wants to make stupid little movies.  

I mean, who really wants to see a review of 30 year old video games anyway?  But if you go back, WAY back, some of the AVGN videos were actually funny.  At what point did it stop being funny?  It was way before Screenwave.  But that’s what they should be focusing on.  Doing something actually funny.  

And you don’t  need the skits to do it.  The skits were never funny.  The humour stemmed from talking about the fucking game.

But Jimmy thinks that poop and vulgarities and skits are what made the show successful.  The man did spend seven and a half years in special education so I can’t be too harsh but no.  The show was successful DESPITE all of that stupid shit, not because of it.

By the way, the boys on Reddit are giving Rainman shit because he said that he put the sound down while watching Mortal Kombat.  The narrative that they’re trying to create is that he did this so as not to wake the children and/or anger his wife.

No, you fucking idiots.  Didn’t you watch the video?  He was complaining about the fluctuating sound levels in the movie.  And he’s right.  I don’t know about Mortal Kombat in particular but contemporary movies generally have this problem.  So the dialogue will be at one volume level and then something REALLY REALLY LOUD will happen.  

So you can either set the volume so that the dialogue is comfortable and then have to deal with the REALLY REALLY LOUD bullshit that sporadically happens or you set the volume so that the REALLY REALLY LOUD bullshit is at a tolerable level and you have to strain to hear the dialogue.  Or, as Rainman indicated, you can just keep adjusting the volume on the fly, which is annoying.  

So Rainman’s solution is to watch the video on mute.  Perfectly valid.  It’s not what I do.  I just opt out of the film entirely if this shit goes on too long.  But watching on mute would work too.