Gamer Girls

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lmQlGWnub0

I like the thumbnail.  Looks like Pam is having a slight constipation problem.  We’ve all been there.  Just eat more fruit.

0:00 – “Today I’m talking about a cool shooter that shows that the best man for the job is often a woman.”

Seriously?  She’s going to use this game that has two sexy anime girls in little outfits as a vehicle for her bizarre idea of feminism?  They put female characters in the game so that the nerdy male audience have something to masturbate over.  There’s nothing empowering about that.

0:30 – As it turns out, Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining was just quoting a line that the character in the game says.  Any game that has the character constantly reminding the audience that she’s a woman probably is not going to be too progressive.

People talk about Lara Croft from Tomb Raider being some kind of feminist figure.  It just goes to show the dearth of actual healthy, identifiable female characters in video games.  “Oh, Lara Croft.  I really identify with her enormous, spherical tits and sexy little outfits.”  The character was designed by some guy who only had one hand free at the time.  

So anyway, Pam reviewed the game.  The first stage takes place in a shopping centre, there’s a cute speech bubble that says “ouch” when you get hit, and the game is easy.  Great.

Let’s see what old Pam is up to on Twitter.

Oh god.  Jump scare.  I didn’t need to see this.  Pam’s been playing with makeup again.  Trigger warning for the following:

https://twitter.com/Jasyla_/status/1390454690555510789

The comments are full of horny asslickers.

https://twitter.com/Jasyla_/status/1391800096178806788

Do you ever get called passive aggressive when you think you’re communicating displeasure quite clearly and directly? What exactly is passive about my aggression? I have an inkling.

No because I treat people with respect and dignity even if I disagree with what’s being said or done.  That’s how civilised people behave, Pam.  Maybe try it out.  We see what being a giant asshole got you in the husband-finding department.  It’s very off-putting for either gender.  Nothing to do with sexism.

The comments are full of horny asslickers.

https://twitter.com/Jasyla_/status/1390301029061771264

Picture of her boyfriend.  The jar of peanut butter is just outside of frame.

The comments are full of horny asslickers.

https://twitter.com/Jasyla_/status/1388312405017571333

Do you ever sit on a video idea for a long time until someone else makes it, but better?

You mean like reviewing retro video games?  Yeah, I can see that being a problem.

I mean seriously, who wants to watch videos of reviews of 30 year old games?  The only such videos that I watch are for these GamerGrrls reviews.  

I never watch a review and then say, “You know what?  I really want to play this 30 year old game now.  Let me fire up my emulator.”  I CERTAINLY don’t go out and purchase the game.  So what’s the point of this?

The reviews are never entertaining.  They’re never interesting.  They’re never funny.

I sometimes look for reviews of fairly current games that I’m playing or that I’m interested in maybe getting.  But a game from 30 years ago?  No.  I don’t fucking care.  I’m not playing games from 30 years ago.  

I used to play games on emulators but it was mostly for the novelty value.  Playing console games on your PC?  How wacky is that?  But then I got over it.  I haven’t used an emulator with any regularity in 15 years.

Maybe if I was still doing that shit, I’d find these retro video game reviews more appealing.  But I doubt it. 

Games have generally improved.  You can do more stuff now.  Doesn’t everyone know this?  

I enjoyed playing Contra but there have to be a thousand games that have improved on every aspect of the game.  

Same with RPGs.  Why would I play Ultima III when I can play Cyberpunk 2077?  Forget the better graphics and sound.  It’s a bigger game.  It’s deeper.  There’s more shit to do.  It’s more complicated.  It’s more immersive.  

Why would I play that shitty Star Wars arcade game from 1983 when I can play Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order?

Why would I play Yie Ar Kung-Fu when I can play UFC 4?

I haven’t played any of these modern games that I’ve mentioned but I have no doubt that they’re better than the earlier counterparts.  The only reason that I played these earlier games in the first place is because that’s the best that we had.  

If you went back to 1991 with two games: Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past and Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild and asked your little school friends what game they wanted to play, NOBODY would choose A Link to the Past.  They’d think that you’re fucking insane for even suggesting A Link to the Past.  Get that piece of shit out of here.  I want to see that wizardry that is Breath of the Wild.