Five bucks a ticket? You can’t beat that.
I used to go to the Prince Charles Cinema in London. They’d show second run movies and old movies. I’m thinking that the prices were £5 so that’s like $7.50. But this was 15 or 20 years ago. Prices are £14 now for non-members and £11 for members.
How much is membership? Wow. £15 a year. That’s a deal. It pays for itself in five visits. Plus, there are £1 shows for members. Lifetime membership is £60. That’s nothing.
I used to go there regularly. It’s a fine cinema. I believe that Quentin Tarantino said that it was his favourite cinema in London. And it’s very close to some corporate cinema who charges THIRTY POUNDS a ticket. And again, these prices are from 15 or 20 years ago.
Maybe Newt should suggest introducing a membership to his cinema. Just rip off the idea. He’s not above that.
The bathrooms at the Prince Charles Cinema were unbelieveable, though. It was like somebody died in there. I don’t think that they were ever cleaned. I heard a customer complaining about them.
They had a great selection of movies. Classics and just slightly out of date recent movies. Like movies that were being shown a month or two ago.
I’m looking at reviews of Newt’s theatre. 4.9/5.0 on Google. That has to be packed full of fake reviews. It does seem to have a lot of reviews. Nearly 1000. For a cinema in a small town? Fuck off.
- “I love going here it’s only $5 a person. Go to their website and check what movie they are giving and go”
That just sounds like advertising. If it weren’t for the correct spelling and grammar, I’d assume that Newt himself wrote that.
- “The prices are great comparing to other movie theaters movies are great but some of the chairs you can feel the springs”
I hear that. There’s nothing worse than sitting in a chair and feeling a spring up your ass. Fix it, Newt. Do your fucking job.
- “Love the Grand. So thankful they showed How to Train your Dragon and Mission Impossible. $5 movies and $3.25 buckets of popcorn. Friendly clean and safe.”
I know that these are just ads disguised as genuine reviews but it does sound tempting. Five bucks? $3.25 for what she describes as a “tub” of popcorn? These are prices from 30 years ago.
Plus, you have Newt and presumably the rest of the employees dressed up in tuxedos in shit like it’s from the 1930s or whatever. So they’re not skimping on the ambiance.
Oh and here we go.
- “It feels like stepping back in time. Beautiful theater, tuxedoed ushers and reasonable concessions. A great experience for the entire family”
So yeah.
- “Great movie theater. Single screen, and an old school feel. Good prices. The seats are pretty comfortable and everything feels cleaner than a few other theaters around.”
This guy doesn’t mind the sping up his ass. It might even be a perk for some people.
- “If you love nostalgia, don’t mind the musty smell & sharing an out-dated restroom…then this is perfect little movie theater for you.”
I was talking to my friend about euphamisms for bathrooms in the US versus the UK. In the US, they’ll say “bathroom” or, as in this case, in this case “restroom.” And “bathroom” is always a subject of scorn in the UK because, “There’s no bath in there.” So what are they called in the UK? “Toilets.” Like that’s better. Why focus on the toilets? Why the desire to mention toilets? Isn’t “bathroom” classier than that?
But my friend insisted that she says “restrooms”, which, maybe she does, but it’s not the done thing in the UK. “Toilets” is the common term for public facilities. There’s also “WC” and some of the classier facilities are labelled that, being an abbreviation for “water closet”, bizarrely, but nobody calls it that.
- “We go here for all of our movies now! Great experience and option for a date night or for a family night out. Love the prices! Can’t beat a $5 movie ticket for new releases.”
New releases? Really? I don’t think so. I mean, he’s advertising Jaws for fuck’s sake. Let me check how “new” these releases are.
Cash only? What the fuck? That looks a little shady.
“Current” attractions: Jaws, Metropolis (1927), Phantom of the Opera (1925), Rocky Horror Picture Show, Medium’s Gallery? What? And tickets are $20 for that. What is this?
Oh, it’s a live performance with some charleton presenting herself as a “medium”. How weird is that? At a movie theatre? Apparently, she does shows throughout rural Pennysylvania. “Paranormal” shit too.
Maybe Chris BORES can take notes on this business model.
The Wizard of Oz (1925) is also playing. So…if by “new releases” you mean stuff within the past 100 years, I guess so.
And these aren’t even deep cuts. This is mainstream shit.
They claim to be showing Mortal Kombat II and Wicked: For Good “soon”, which are new releases, but who knows when that’s going to be? I just gave you all of the movies that are coming up. It was Jaws, Rocky Horror Picture Show, and some mainstream movies from 100 years ago.
Who hasn’t seen Wizard of Oz? Come on. Although, I guess seeing it on the big screen might be something.
I saw Seven Samurai at the Prince Charles Cinema. That was great. I saw a lot of foreign films there, actually. Newt needs to tap into this. Get the avant garde, intellectual crowd in there. He’s focusing on grandmothers looking for a place to their grandkids.
- “Stopped at this place while passing through town, and had a wonderful experience. Definitely felt like stepping back through time when entering the theater. While the movie I saw was a new film, getting to see the old Looney Tunes short before the movie was a wonderful moment that really made it feel like I had traveled back in time.”
Oh yeah. Newt has mentioned that he shows a Looney Tunes short before every movie. I wonder if he’s paying for that. Presumably not.
- “The plays are top-notch, and the actors are superb.”
They do plays too? Newt should put something together using one of his 1000+ “tits and gore” scripts that he shit out in a day. Adapt it to the stage.
- “Love this theater! Employees were super nice and dressed to impress! Popcorn was delicious and prices were amazing! Have been coming here for a while and my only complaint is no lemonade, kids ask about it every time we go, probably would sell better than fruit punch!!”
Well, he’s not wrong. Lemonade beats fruit punch every time. But how stupid are his kids? How many times do they need to be told that there’s no lemonade?
I’m surprised that they’re selling any kind of homemade beverages. They’re presumably from those machines. Presumably higher profit margins than bottled drinks.
- “Great place to take the family for an affordable price and friendly service. Where else can you see a movie and enjoy some snacks and soda for under $10. Love having a small theatre in our neighborhood”
How much is the candy? What sort of selection do they have? Can I get Sno-Caps? Do they even still make Sno-Caps? I only ever saw them in cinemas.
Oh yeah. They are still sold.
Let’s see if there’s a picture of the concession stand. Oh yeah. Here’s one from nine years ago.
Not sure if that link will work.
Appears to be a limited selection. I can’t make out any brands. Maybe Kit Kats? Kit Kats are shit.
What about selling beer at the premises? You can apparently do that now. Newt told a story about having a beer at some cinema.
What about hard liquor? Is that allowed? You’d need a licence, presumably. I don’t know how much those cost.