Gamer Girls

Newt got the name for this video from Todd Tuckey of TNT Amusements, a local rural Pennsylvania used pinball and arcade vendor, who has a Youtube channel and used to say “pinball a go go” or “pancakes a go go” or whatever the situation called as like his catchphrase. And Newt has mentioned Todd Tuckey before, Newt mentioned going to his shop for some Screenwave video (the Polybius episode, which Newt also says he came up with the idea for that episode), so this is not coincidental.

3:00 – PVC Bondage Guy says that she bought a Nintendo 64 recently. I don’t care but just some information for any nerds out there.

I saw that Ian from the Pat and Ian show shaved his beard recently. He’s the spitting image of PVC Bondage Guy.

4:30 – PVC Bondage Guy says that she switched providers so had to change her phone number. Really? I’ve transferred my number to other providers no problem. Maybe things are different in the Land of Opportunity.

I’ve been calling the US the “Land of Opportunity” on the internet in a sarcastic fashion for over 25 years. I used to go to some British band’s website back when I lived in the US, this was in like 1999, and I’d always refer to the country as the Land of Opportunity in the chat room. And there was an American woman who used to go there regularly and got really pissed off at this. “Why are you calling it the Land of Opportunity? It’s that opposite of that. What’s wrong with you?” And some British guy came to my defence, “To be fair, he’s obviously using the term sarcastically.” He said this even though I was a contentious figure in the chat and this American woman was well-liked.

She was just exposing herself as an idiot. Ironically, she was perpetuating American stereotypes by trying to fit in with all of the British folk. She was unable to recognise dry humour, something that British people enjoy.

Indeed, the smarter people in the chat would regularly come to my defence against the dummies. There was a time, a separate incident, involving different people, when some guy said something along the lines of, “Can’t you see that this is dry humour? He’s perfect at it. I thought British people were supposed to know these things.”

I don’t think that any nationality has a monopoly on dry humour, though. I certainly wasn’t trying to be British. But I find that my writing, which I usually try to make at least somewhat comedic, has a divisive effect. And the divide isn’t along nationalities or anything like this, it’s between the intelligentsia and dummies. The dummies get very irritated by it because they don’t understand what it is that I’m doing. But the brighter members of society get it and appreciate it.

I know that this is all self-absorbed and sounds like I’m talking about how great and funny I am, but that’s really not the intention. I’m just making a genuine observation that I think is accurate. And I’m sure that everybody who’s still reading is in full agreement. “You know, this guy really makes a good point. Only smart people like me can appreciate this guy’s blog.”

Back to Mensa members PVC Bondage Guy and Newt “The Ideas Man” Wallen.

10:00 – She’s reading from the chat. Somebody said that Metz looks “jacked” and she thanks him.

Dude. No. No fucking way. SHE’S ENORMOUS. This is not muscle. It’s fat. As I believe somebody is going to point out soon. Hopefully, anyway. I watched this while I was drifting in and out of sleep and now I’m having to watch it again.

13:30 – Somebody in the chat called PVC Bondage Guy fat and Newt old but I’m not seeing it in the replay so I’m guessing that PVC Bondage Guy or whatever horntard they have “moderating” this thing deleted the comment.

14:00 – PVC Bondage Guy went to some kind of convention, either nerd or wrestling, maybe both, and ran into her good buddy the Sandman. You might remember him from Extreme Championship Wrestling back in the 1990s. PVC Bondage Guy, who only started watching wrestling like two years ago, is all about 1990s ECW and she’s now close personal friends with the Sandman.

Anyway, Sandman said that she gained a lot of weight since he last saw her. Yeah. It’s fucking obvious.

“My weight is because I’m training. I’m not upset about it.”

And Newt, feeding her delusions, says, “Yeah, yeah.”

I understand the concept of “bulking” when it comes to body building or I suppose anything where you’re trying to increase the size of your muscles. You eat a lot and you lift a lot of weights because you’re trying to turn these extra calories from the food into muscle. I’m not entirely sure what the science is behind it, but this is my layman’s understanding.

However, what PVC Bondage Guy seems to be doing is “bulking” in terms of eating a lot but then just laying on the couch and taking a nap. This is not going to lead to large muscles. Eating is only part of the equation. You have to then LIFT WEIGHTS. I don’t think that PVC Bondage Guy is doing that. She can’t be. Look at her.

I say forget the bulking entirely. Just eat normally and lift weights. Bulking is for high level body builders, not somebody in a fucking wrestling school who’s never going to make a dime off of this. The WEIGHT LIFTING is the most important thing.

And how much muscle is she planning on getting anyway? Surely, her delusion isn’t so deep that she doesn’t understand that she’s biologically a woman. It’s difficult for women to build muscle.

I mean, if PVC Bondage Guy is genuinely lifting weights, we can see the results. You can eat all the head-sized chicken things from Domino’s you want but you’re just going to look like a big, fat chick.

Anyway, bulking is just part of the process. Maybe she’s going to prove me wrong when she gets to the “cutting” phase. She’ll lose all of that weight and you’ll see that she had giant muscles hidden under all of that flab.

When is the cutting phase going to begin, though? Because I think you’re supposed to do like three months of bulking, three months of cutting. Let me look this up.

I wasn’t even close. Four to six weeks of bulking, then another four to six weeks of cutting.

https://blog.workoutwithbolt.com/a-simple-guide-to-the-bulking-and-cutting-cycle

Oh, but they go on to say that cycles of three to four months or even longer are more effective. But PVC Bondage Guy has been bulking for at a year, I’d say. Enough with the bulking. You’re bulky enough.

It’s fucking ridiculous. Just invest in some dumb bells and start lifting them. Don’t worry about the fucking food. Eat like a normal human being. Not food the size of your head.

Some guy named Gerald keeps coming on to PVC Bondage Guy in the chat and it really annoys Newt. I think that she might be “dating” this guy because she mentioned earlier about how they linked their telephone contact groups together or something.

18:00 – PVC Bondage Guy says that she went to college. We’ll come back to this soon, hopefully.

Oh, here’s the Gerald who’s cutting it up in the chat:

https://twitter.com/jaybunny89

Just some fat horntard who pays PVC Bondage Guy for sex. I think that he appeared in one of these livestreams before. He had a cane because he was unable to walk unaided under his own weight. Maybe this Gerald is helping PVC Bondage Guy with her bulking.

That’s disappointing. Here I was thinking that PVC Bondage Guy had some hot boyfriend who was going to her livestreams. No. Just another fat, pathetic john.

22:30 – “I didn’t watch the most recent…what’s it called…WrestleMania.”

That was from wrestling super-fan PVC Bondage Guy. And a few minutes earlier, she said that she didn’t know what the term “kayfabe” meant until like a year ago when some horntard in the chat said it.

Doesn’t even know the NAME WrestleMania. She had to think about it. Big wrestling fan. Going way back to 2023.

25:45 – Finally, we get to PVC Bondage Guy’s special eduation story. A few minutes earlier, she was talking about how her father didn’t like Kurt Cobain being associated with his generation because he killed himself. And that her father always considered himself to be normal and would tell PVC Bondage Guy and her brother that they were normal when, apparently, they have serious problems.

27:00 – “I was in the special needs group but, like, not intellectually, because of my mental — like my emotional issues. I remember people being surprised that I was in that group .”

This wasn’t as big of a deal as it seemed when I was first listening to this, semi-conscious. She was just in the lowest “track” in school. You have Group 1, Group 2, Group 3, for example, with the smartest kids in Group 1, the average kids in Group 2, and the complete disasters in Group 3. But the people in Group 3 aren’t retarded. At least not in my experience. But they’re there as a combination of low intellect and behavioural issues, just like she seems to be suggesting she had.

Looking back, I understand now why Group 3 was so much smaller than the other two groups. I guess it was like a special needs group. Group 1 had like 20 kids, Group 2 had 25, and Group 3 had 7. And only one was a girl. But yeah, they weren’t retarded. One kid clearly had autism, although I don’t think this was a known thing at the time. The others were just…I don’t know. Some of them seemed to have bad home lives. A lot of them had behavioural issues. Were they inherently less intelligent than other students? Tough to say. Were they less intelligent because of their bad home life and the fact that they were put in Group 3 or were they just naturally less intelligent?

Because they certainly didn’t know shit. We’d have like contests and shit in school and they were always shit. They weren’t winning any fucking spelling bees or trivia contests. So I don’t know. I think that home life plays a large role in one’s perceived intelligence.

I was in Group 1, for what it’s worth. But I was moved down to Group 2 in like the 7th grade when my father died and I wasn’t doing homework and shit. So it’s not like I suddenly got stupid. I was moved to the dumber group because the quality of my home life dropped. If I had somebody checking that I was doing homework and whatnot, like a switched on mother who gave a shit, for example, I wouldn’t have been moved down.

So these groups are really in large part a reflection on people’s homelives. And then when you’re in a lower group, obviously the quality of your education is going to suffer so the problem is exacerbated.

Anyway, that’s PVC Bondage Guy’s special education story. She wasn’t really in special education in the sense that James Rolfe was. She was just in the lowest track in mainstream school, undoubtedly due to her bad homelife.

But as far as intellect goes, I put PVC Bondage Guy ahead of…well, certainly any of the prostitutes who Newt has on his channel. She’s definitely ahead of Erin. Bobdunga, Pelvic Gamer, Retro Ali, they can all go eat dicks. I’m taking PVC Bondage Guy as my partner in a game of Trivial Pursuit over those morons any day. Fucking what’s her name, the prostitute from New York…now there’s a straight up retard. Who am I leaving out? Oh, Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining. Well, I don’t know. Pam does some IT job and she has a horrible personality but she doesn’t seem particularly stupid. Tough to say. I’d like to see them both take a standardised test and we can compare results. But one thing I know for sure is I’d rather have a conversation with PVC Bondage Guy than Pam.

So is PVC Bondage Guy the smartest gamer girl who I talk about? Quite possibly. And is the Newt the dumbest (gamer?) guy who I talk about? Umm…well, no, he can’t be. I mean, James “Seven and a Half Years in Special Education” Rolfe is going to be tough beat. But what other guys do I talk about? Well, I used to talk about Tony. Is Newt smarter than Tony…a real battle of the titans here. Newt’s writing is obviously awful. He doesn’t even know basic spelling and grammar. But is that an intelligence thing or a failure in education? And we don’t know if Tony writes any better.

Let’s figure this out on a tier list. A to F. A is particularly intelligent, C is average, F is particularly unintelligent. I’m not ranking these people in relation to each other, I’m ranking them in relation to the population at large.

A –

B – Pam aka Cannot be Entertaining, PVC Bondage Guy, Mike Matei

C – Pelvic Gamer, Newt Wallen, Tony from Hack the Movies, John Riggs

D – Retro Ali, Bobdunga, Erin Plays, Johanna from Hack the Movies, Chris Bores, Super Retro Gal aka Super Video Game Gal

F – Fallon and all of those other prostitutes who Newt has on his channel, Destiny Fomo, James Rolfe, Crystal Quinn, Zap Crystal

I think those are the main ones. Nobody in “A”, of course. Some of the choices were a little tough and perhaps arbitrary. Just because you’re in the same category as somebody else, that doesn’t mean you’re equally as smart. There’s a range within each category. But I think that the chart is pretty accurate.

Who would be “A” tier? Who are the intellectual juggernauts in the retro gaming community? You’d think that it would be teeming with smart people. It’s a nerd thing, after all. But no. Metal Jesus? No. Scott the Woz? No. Joe from Game Sack? No. Lazy Gamer or whatever that guy’s name is? No. Horny Goriya? No. PushingUpRoses? Fuck no. That horrible English woman? No. That horrible South Asian English woman? No. I can’t remember their names.

Maybe that Texan guy who does the repair videos or whatever? That’s not really retro video games, though. And who is that guy anyway? I haven’t seen his videos in years. It’s a bald guy. Glasses.

Maybe Justin Silverman would be in the A tier. He always has witty tweets and shit. Seems erudite.

I don’t want to be sexist, though. Any ladies…umm…I’m sure that there are but none spring to mind.