Gamer Girls

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QdyRroOd5_k

1:17:45 

Mike: Which one’s better: Bust a Move 99 or Bust a Move 2?

Erin: I like both.  I’ve played both.

Mike: Oh really?

Erin: I don’t…I get them confused.  I don’t remember which one’s which, to be honest.

So why did Erin specifically shout out Bust a Move 99 as being one of the top games on the N64?  Why wouldn’t she say both of them?  Because Bust a Move 99 is the game that she played recently, on stream, for money.  She didn’t even know that there is a Bust a Move 2.

By the way, Bust a Move 99 was called Puzzle Bobble 3 in Japan.  Bust a Move 2 was called Puzzle Bobble 2 in Japan, of course.  It’s true.  Right there on Wikipedia.  So Bust a Move 99 is the sequel to Bust a Move 2.  Erin didn’t know this.

There’s something going on with this emulator, they can’t figure it out, so Erin says, “I mean, I have the real cartridge”.

Because you’re just such a Bust a Move fan, Erin.  That cartridge is probably worn out from thousands of hours of play.

1:19:00 – “Acclaim!”

She just randomly read the name.  What other games is Acclaim responsible for, Erin?  Give us a list.  She has no idea.

She doesn’t mention Taito, when that appears, even though Taito is closely associated with this series of games and Bubble Bobble.  Erin doesn’t know this.

1:19:30 – Captain Commando is one of the characters.  Erin says, “I don’t like the look of him.  He looks like he’d be on Silver Hawks or something.”

What an odd reference.  By the way, Mike said “Captain Commando” during this and Erin still didn’t recognise him.  She never even heard of the name.

So let me Google Silver Hawks.  Oh, of course.  An obscure cartoon from 1986.  Erin, of course, being born in 1987.  She’s all about those shitty 80s cartoons, that were geared to 8 year old boys, and were simply vehicles to sell toys, as a 33 year old woman.  

She must have watched an episode recently with Mike.  Now she’s all about Silver Hawks.  You guys all know Silver Hawks, right?  

No.  I don’t know Silver Hawks, Erin.  But I do know Captain Commando.  Erin doesn’t.

“I’m going to be Bub!”

Is it Bub?  The name doesn’t appear anywhere.  It could be Bob.  Which one is which?  It’s the green one so…probably Bub.  But let’s check.

Yeah, she was right.  She’s a real “gamer.”

“Or I can be one of the anime girls.”

She’s regretting her decision because she immediately chose her character without first scrolling through the other options.

1:20:00 – “Do you think I’d get more viewers if I had cat ears.”

I don’t know.  What do the mentally retarded like?  This is clearly all calculated.  She’s intentionally targeting the mentally retarded.

Then they can’t figure out how to start the game.  Because they’re fucking morons.  Maybe try all of the buttons?  Maybe read what’s on the screen?  No.  Just try the other Bust a Move.  Whichever one that is.

By the way, that was Bust a Move 99, one of Erin’s favourite N64 games of all time.  She couldn’t figure out how to start the game.  

1:22:00 – “I think it’s the same game, actually”.

Erin doesn’t know.  She’s wrong, by the way.  I’ve already explained how Bust a Move 99 is the sequel to Bust a Move 2.

Earlier in the stream, Erin said that she played BOTH of these games.  But she doesn’t know which one is which.  

Now she’s saying that it’s the same game.

She’s clearly never played the game before.  And she only played Bust a Move 99 briefly, on stream, for money.  She has no fucking idea.  

1:22:30 – “I forget.  Do you play with the d-pad?”

How could you forget?  You’ve clearly never played this game before.  OR, if we go with her other story, she HAS played it before and it’s one of her favourite games.  Either way, how can you forget? 

Also, why not just try it?  If the stick doesn’t work, try the d-pad.  It takes less than a second.  Why does she insist on advertising her gross ignorance about video games?  She knows absolutely NOTHING about video games.  Even after fucking YEARS of playing this shit, on stream, for money.  She still doesn’t know anything about video games.

“It’s been a while.”

No.  It’s more lies.  She just fucking got through saying that she thinks that Bust a Move 2 IS Bust a Move 99.  Why is nobody calling this out?  It’s so fucking obvious that these are blatant lies.

Erin is TERRIBLE at the game, by the way.

1:27:30 – Mike again brings up that monkey costume where he destroyed buildings.  Let’s see if Erin takes ANY interest in this the second time.

No.  She just said, “That’s true.”  It’s the equivalent of “That’s cool”.

1:28:30 – “Yeah, we’re playing Bubble Bobble/Bust a Move, whatever you like to call it.”

Umm…no.  Puzzle Bobble, Erin.  Bubble Bobble is a different game.  But Erin is totally clueless.

So Mike says, “Puzzle Bobble.  Bubble Bobble.”

Erin doesn’t reply to this.  She doesn’t even realise that he’s correcting her.  She’s completely out of her depth.  She knows NOTHING about video games.

1:31:45 – Erin starts massaging her wrist and saying that she only wants to play one more game.  “Carpal tunnel.”  From playing video games too much.  Erin is all about those video games.  She’s CONSTANTLY playing them.

The horntards suggest Pilot Wings 64.  Erin says that she never played it before.  But she did “try” the SNES game (on stream, for money, by the way) and couldn’t control the character.

1:33:00 – “Thanks Evil Alex.  Hope you’re having a good night.”

This is all she ever does.  She never talks to the chat AT ALL other than to greet them and say “that’s cool”.  She’s incapable of having a conversation because she doesn’t know anything about anything.  It’s all generic responses.  

She doesn’t want to play but Mike insists.

She manages to complete the level and then hands the controller to Mike.  She doesn’t want to do this.  Clearly.  

1:36:00 – “Have you seen the Pilot Wings pilot recently?  No.”

You don’t say.  Instead of just saying “no”, why not ask him what he’s talking about.  I assume that it’s some stupid half-joke.  Explore this.  Have an actual conversation with the horntards.  

1:36:30 

Mike: So that’s what you do.  You go through the rings.  Were you watching?

Erin: No.

Mike: Cool.

Erin: I was looking at the chat.

She doesn’t want to do this.  Clearly . 

1:40:45 – She’s really bad at the game and can’t get through the first level.  “I can’t play games where you control a plane.  I just can’t.”

Such as?  Name some other flight games that you’re poor at, Erin.  Anything?  

And I really don’t think that her inability to play video games is limited to aviation games.

Then there’s an edit after she dies.  Let’s see what she’s hiding this time.

Basically nothing.  I have no idea why she edited these few seconds out.  It was just Mike talking about some mini game.

1:42:15 – They’re finishing with Star Soldier.  Because Erin is all about those “shmups”.

1:42:30 – “Oh, I guess I could have put it on easy mode.”

Erin is annoyed that she pressed the button too fast and chose “normal mode”.  She only plays on “easy”.

1:43:00 – “This is so weird.  I’m so used to shmups on like anything except the N64.”

Yeah.  She’s all about those “shmups”.

HORRENDOUS gameplay, by the way.

1:44:45 – She dies and wants to quit but Mike insists that she plays again.

1:47:00 – While Mike is answering some nerd question about CRT’s, Erin is completely checked out and starts doing some weird wrist massages.  Because she has carpal tunnel, guys.  She just loves video games so much and plays them for 18 hours a day to the point where she got carpal tunnel syndrome.  

Also, I notice that it’s both wrists that seem to be affected.  Usually, symptoms begin in the dominant hand and may progress to the other hand.  So Erin must have been suffering from this for a while.  It’s terrible.  She should see a doctor.

Less than two hours of playing video games, on stream, for money.  With Mike, who was playing most of the time.  This has destroyed her wrists.

“My hands are hurting so I’m checking out.”

What a terrible affliction.  Maybe get a job.

1:49:00 – Mike was asking Erin about a game that she played on stream, for money.  Erin refers to the “PC Engine” a number of times.  I don’t think that she even knows that it’s just the Japanese version of the TurboGrafx.  Then Mike says:

Mike: I feel like you really like the PC Engine.

Erin: I really like the PC Engine, yeah.

Mike: Off the top of your head, do you have any PC Engine games that you like.

Erin is panicking.  She doesn’t fucking know any.  Mike knows this.  He’s just calling her out for being a fraud again.

Erin: Umm…I always try to think about of what do I like on the PC Engine besides…I mean, obviously there’s like…umm…Rondo.  Umm…there’s just so many shmups on there.

Name some.  Name some that you like, Erin.  It’s not a hard question.  You’re all about the “PC Engine”, right?  What are some games that you like?  

Erin: Isn’t Sexy Parodius on there?

You tell us.  You played the game.  On stream, for money.  Is it on the PC Engine?  Is it one of your favourite games on that Japanese-exclusive console?  

Erin: Which one is that on.  I forget.

Mike: Maybe?  Maybe Saturn.  I forget.

Erin: I forgot.  I think it’s on PC Engine.

It’s not.  It’s on Saturn.  And Playstation.  

Erin just got through saying that she REALLY likes the PC Engine.  So what are her favourite games on the system?  A Castlevania game that she played on stream, for money, and doesn’t even know the name of (“Rondo” is all that she managed) and a game that isn’t even on the system but that she also played on stream, for money.

She REALLY likes the PC Engine.

Then she reads the chat.  The horntards are again helping her with what games that SHE likes.  She needs to be reminded of what games she likes.  She “always” “forgets” what games she likes.

Erin: (reading) Yeah, Bomberman on the PC Engine is fun.

Which one?  There were several.  Which is your favourite, Erin?  I think that some of the later ones were never released in the US.  Do you play those?  They’re only in Japanese, of course.  Not that you need to read the story but earlier in the stream, you didn’t want to play a Bomberman game because it was in Japanese.

Erin: (still reading) Air Zonk?  I haven’t spent a lot of time with.

Well, stop reading the chat and just think about it.  What PC Engine games do you like?  You shouldn’t need the horntards to tell you about your video game preferences.

Then Mike tells her that she played the game years ago and Erin says that she doesn’t remember it.  Probably because it was only for a matter of minutes.  Or even seconds.  But that counts in Erin’s universe.

So that’s it.  They change the subject.  Erin REALLY likes the PC Engine.  She couldn’t name a SINGLE game that she likes on the console.  

It’s a complete farce.  Is there anybody ON EARTH who can possibly believe that she’s interested in video games?

Then she massages her wrist some more.  She wants to stop this, Mike.  Are you not picking up on this?  

1:51:15 – “Before we started streaming, I did try out some Castlevania 64 and I’m excited to stream that.”

Yeah.  On stream, for money.  How else does one play video games?

Absolutely unbelievable.  She’s a total fraud.  

What might work is if Erin just straight up said that she has no experience with video games but she plays them on stream, for money.  It’s a hobby that she’s interested in exploring.  On stream, for money.

The problem is this whole fake backstory of her being a super “gamer”.  And then when you ask her ANYTHING about video games, she’s unable to give an answer.  

Her opinions don’t matter AT ALL because she doesn’t know anything about this shit.  So don’t ask her what her favourite PC Engine game is, for example.  She only played a handful of the games, on stream, for money, for minutes or seconds.  So who cares what her answer is?  And she couldn’t even fucking give an answer.  Sexy Parodius is her favourite PC Engine game.

It’s such a massive fraud that you think that something should be done about it.  Can Youtube shut channels down for video game fraud?  I mean, this is blatant.  

Let’s see what the horntards thought.

– “Love the banter. You two have the cutest couple streams ever!”

– “Love the couple streams!”

– “This stream was too much fun.”

– “The best couple.”

Not a single person pointed out ANY of the hundreds of lies that she told in this video.  They didn’t notice?  Too busy jerking off?  Were they watching with the sound off?  

So that was Erin Plays Week on GamerGrrls.  She recently uploaded a three hour stream of Castlevania 64 but I don’t know if I can watch that.  Certainly not three hours of it.  

It’s just so disheartening.  I can’t believe that nobody else is calling her out.  The boys on Reddit talk about her appearance and sometimes people will say that she’s not interested in video games but they’re just referencing my articles.  There’s no other independent person exposing Erin’s lies.

For example, there are people on Youtube who will make videos about how Madam Fomo isn’t actually interested in video games and this is just a scam and some people will also suggest that she has sex for money.  There are a number of people who do this.  

I’ve also read on message boards people expressing the view that Madam Fomo is a total fraud and she’s being put up to this by her pimp.

Why is there no Erin equivalent?  Erin is one of the most flagrant frauds I’ve ever seen in my life.  

The answer is that nobody cares.  Nobody wants to put the time in to talk about some Z-list “Youtuber”.  But what she’s doing is disgusting.  She’s taking money from the mentally retarded.  She’s pretending to be these people’s girlfriend.  The whole thing is pathetic.  

And she remarkably bad at all of this.  Her channel fails on every level.  Forget about the fact that she doesn’t know anything about video games and she doesn’t care about video games.  She’s incapable of being entertaining AT ALL.  She has zero charisma.  Zero conversation skills.  She’s average looking AT BEST.  That’s me being kind.  What’s the appeal?  

You look at some of these “titty streamers” and yeah, they’re bad at video games and don’t know anything about video games.  But they’re engaging.  They talk to the people in the chat.  And they have their tits out.  So I can see the appeal.  Yeah, this woman might be a dud in terms of video games but you might like her personality or her tits.  

Erin doesn’t have personality or tits.  So I don’t get it.  The fact that there are people who go to Erin’s streams, even as few as these people are, is one of life’s great mysteries.