https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbllVuRDL7w
Erin is “reviewing” a game that she recently played on stream, for money.
Actually, did I review that stream? Let me check the archives.
I did not. I must have found them too insufferable. But here are the the videos:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8vakjDIk1M
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1mgJkQrNLo
They’re from a month ago.
So once again, if you’ve seen the stream, why would you watch the Youtube video? She uses the exact same “jokes” and comments in the Youtube video that she used in the stream.
0:00 – Oh. Get your tissues for this one. Erin is wearing some kind of a tank top or something. You can see her “sexy” ice cream tattoo.
That tattoo is so fucking hilarious. She’s told this story before. She thought that it would be a “cute” tattoo but…no. This is something that a trucker would get. A trucker who really liked ice cream anyway. She didn’t research the artist. She just went to the local tattoo parlour, said “Give me a number 4”, slapped her fifty bucks on the table, and some meth addict got to work.
What’s with that placement? I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone get a tattoo on the front of their upper arm like that. Why did she want a tattoo there?
Anyway, let’s get to work. This is 40 minute video. This is going to require all of my self-control. Only comment on the REALLY stupid stuff. I know I say this all the time but this time I’m going to do it.
0:15 – Hilariously blatant Wikipedia dot com.
0:45 – She shouts out Bio Miracle Bokutte Upa repeatedly. A game that she played ONCE. On stream, for money. But now she says that she really likes it. She’s all about Bio Miracle Bokutte Upa.
She would not even be able to give you the name of the game if she wasn’t reading it from a script. And even with the script, she struggles.
1:00 – “Why does Dr Cinnamon sound familiar?”
He doesn’t. But then Erin shouts out Twin Bee. This is a game that she played briefly, on stream, for money, during a “variety stream”. So now she talks about it like she’s really familiar with the game. Having played it for maybe five minutes in her life. “You guys all know the bosses in Twin Bee, right?”
No. I’ve never played it before. You know how that goes.
2:00 – She complains that there’s not a “grouping” of characters that includes three particular characters who she wants to play as. She made this exact same comment in the stream.
How do I know this? I must have watched part of the stream. But I didn’t do a review on it? I must have just been watching some Erin Plays for my own personal enjoyment. Or maybe I was just so disgusted with it that I couldn’t bring myself to review it.
2:15 – “When I first played this…”
Why doesn’t she say when and where she first played this? It was last month, on stream, for money.
4:30 – She says that she never played the first Wai Wai World. She prefers the sequel because it’s cute. Fascinating.
“But I do want to play the first one. If I don’t do a video on it, I’ll probably at least stream it.”
How else would you play a video game?
5:45 – “I streamed this and I was like, ‘Ooh, I want to do a video on this.'”
What about playing it in your spare time? Did you want to do that, Erin? Of course not.
6:15 – “When I first started playing this game…”
Last month. On stream, for money. One time. Why doesn’t she just say this?
This is just boring. Should I stop here? That would be a depressing way to end Erin Week on GamerGrrls. I’ll give it another few minutes.
8:30 – She “forgot” that a character can shoot up. Well, you did only play the game one time, Erin. Don’t beat yourself up about “forgetting” these things.
I’m done. I can’t do this. I made it to the 10 minute mark. I gave it a chance. It’s just boring. It’s boring as fucking shit. I’ve seen CannotBeTamed videos that are more interesting than this shit. No exaaggeration.
Let me just skip through the rest. See if she takes her top off or something.
37:45 – “I didn’t know at first if I wanted to do just a written review or a let’s play.”
Wait…we could have had a written review? I think that I would have preferred that to a video.
Maybe she means “scripted”. But is that what these videos are? I’ve never figured it out what these videos are. Are they play throughs or are they reviews? They don’t seem to be anything. But this video was “both” according to her. Whatever that means. Let’s not categorise everything. Well, Erin’s videos are all in the “shit” category but I don’t know what genre her videos are in.
38:30 – “Castlevania and Contra feel like home for me.”
She has NEVER played either game in her spare time. Not even for one second. But she’s all about Castlevania and Contra. Those games are “where her heart is.”
Awful, awful video.
Let’s check out what the horntards had to say.
– “I enjoyed this video as always and you look so cute when you play and I love listening to you and your comments.”
He’s watching with his pants around his ankles.
I use this term fairly frequently but does anyone actually do that? I mean, pull their pants all the way down when they’re masturbating? Maybe if you’re mentally retarded you might.
– “Why any dislikes? The hell is wrong with you people?”
There were three. There are four now because I watched the video but when this guy commented, there were THREE dislikes. This fucking moron is complaining about THREE dislikes.
– “You should be a model Erin.”
Yeah. A 33 year old average (at best) looking model.
Although, I suppose that models are needed of all ages and it is trendy to use non-traditional looking models. I saw some model on some clothing site or Amazon or something that had to be at least 300 pounds. How many 300 pound women are out there?
Anyway, it was just sad. This is not a job that this woman should be doing. It’s just gay men doing this as a joke. The fashion industry is run by gay men, of course. And they’re putting this obese woman out there and laughing at this.
Juggs, which was a fine pornographic magazine back in the day, used to have like the Plumper of the Month. It was a take on Playboy’s Playmate of the Month. It would be a big fat chick.
Nobody who bought Juggs wanted to see this. But the magazine was run by gay men. It was a joke on the heterosexual readership. This isn’t something that I’m making up. I read an article about this. People were interviewed. This was a way for these homosexual publishers to say “fuck you” to heterosexual men.
I don’t know how we got here but yeah, Erin is not going to be a model. Well, maybe she can be Plumper of the Month if Juggs ever makes a comeback.
– “I justr LOVED that introduction. Believe me, I got goosebumps so yeah, I’m also excited to watch this. You’re topping yourself with every video, “Skyrocketing Erin” 🙂 Looking forward to mooooore ;)”
Oh my god. And if that wasn’t “cringe” enough, he then writes two enormous paragraphs giving Erin pro tips for this game that she’ll never play again in her life.
What is wrong with this guy?
– “Erin, loving this format! Not too short or long, excellent cuts, and your personality really pops. I also found myself laughing quite often. Are you sure Mike didn’t help write this one?! If he didn’t you could give him a few pointers!”
Forty minutes isn’t too long for this guy?
– “Don’t delete! Show those panties!”
It’s been 18 hours. It seems that she’s not going to delete this one.
– “Wooow. Believe it or not I was thinking about you some minutes ago ^_^”
Gross.
Somebody suggests that Erin’s next video should be about “Masters of the Universe movie”. Why? She’s never done a video about a movie. And why would anybody care about Erin’s opinion of some movie? Particularly about a franchise that’s from before she was born and that was geared to 8 year old boys?
But this is Jose De Luna’s fetish. He likes hearing 33 year old women who have no interest in He-Man or really anything talking about…that He-Man movie from the 80s. It takes all kind, I guess.
Tomorrow we’ll be moving on from Erin. Hopefully somebody else uploads something. If not, maybe I’ll write some bullshit about Pam’s boring as fuck three hour video game collection video. Or maybe I’ll find something else to write about from Twitter or whatever. The world is full of possibilities.