Gamer Girls

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YRXTV98Kn8

Hello, desperation.  She’s “premiering” this.  She’s wearing the same outfit as in the Power Pad video and the description is “Is this N64 Disney dance pad cooler than the Power Pad?”

Can this be any more transparent?  She’s completely desperate for views.  Here’s an idea, Erin: MAKE GOOD CONTENT.  And if you can’t do that, which you can’t, get off of Youtube.  There are other things that you can do with your life.  There are millions of jobs out there.  Pick one.  Something other than “scam Youtuber”.

So the video isn’t actually out yet, as of the time of my writing this.  But I’m just so jazzed that I had to start.  This is a big event.

I’m not alone in my enthusiasm.  

– “Yaaay!! Erin lovely legs are making a comeback! 😍 Can’t wait!..”

– “I can’t wait for this. Will it surpass the views on the power bad though…”

– “Bringing back the shorts! 😂 It made me sad to see that video with the most views but…… men. Lol. Love the content!”

– “Please swear…A LOT….🤤”

– “i’m just here to see erin in shorts”

Let’s hope these guys don’t discover PornHub while they’re waiting.

– “Here before the perverts ruin the comments on a perfectly normal video”

I don’t think that this guy is on it.  Erin is intentionally doing this to appeal to the horntards.

Speaking of which, Super Geoff leaves a comment in the chat: “Haha Hey Erin it’s Mickey Mouse I’m on Super Geoff Computer”

It took me a little while to figure this out.  Super Geoff is pretending that Mickey Mouse is writing that comment from his (Super Geoff’s) computer.

– “Curious as to why THIS is the only video that’s given me a 12hr countdown on your channel after being subbed for years”

Erin replies, “I’ve done premieres before, but not often. Since the Power Pad video is the most viewed video on my channel I figured this would be a good one to premiere.”

Oh, so that’s why.  I get it.  Why do you suppose the Power Pad video was so popular, Erin?  People just like really like the Power Pad?  I thought that the accessory was wildly unpopular but what do I know?

She also tweeted this shit.  I can’t believe this.  This is desperate as fuck.

https://twitter.com/ErinPlays_Games/status/1413636295570644994

“Set your reminders! A brand new video premieres tomorrow at 2PM EST. See ya in the chat!”

And then just look at this picture:

This is some weird shit.  “See you in the chat guys!  You get to talk to your childhood friend’s mom!”  

What the fuck.  And it’s a weird angle.  It makes her lower legs look rail thin.  There’s all that bizarre, obviously staged shit in the background.  And she’s kneeling on a children’s toy.  Who the fuck is jerking off to this?  This is a horror show.

Somebody replies, “Hahaha thats awesome! Never seen one of those before!”.  You mean a woman?

Oh, Retro Ali replies.  “omg YESSS THE DISNEY DDR GAME”.  Riveting as always.  She must be borderline retarded as well.  I’ve never seen her write or say a single interesting thing. 

ShiShi posts a gif of a toddler Minnie Mouse defecating.  I’ll just leave it at that.

Somebody asks if that pad works with other N64 games.  Erin says that she doesn’t know.  You don’t say.

Then there’s this horny hero:

Raab: Do you think the dude from the Power Pad video comments will be back to accuse you of making porn again rofl? I love the cringe comments… but im sure by now you are beyond over them..

Erin: I mean, some people were scandalized by my PS1 Lightgun video so apparently shorts push them over the edge (Smiling face with open mouth and tightly-closed eyes emoji) I can’t let that weirdness dictate what I do!

Raab: i don’t often remember specific comments but that one set was particularly eye opening on what you and other female creators deal with. I love that you don’t let it dictate what or how you’re gonna do what you’re gonna do.

The only thing worse than Erin making porn for retards is Erin pretending that it ISN’T porn for retards.  

– “Damn I’m actually waiting up for you”

– “nb4 the “i wish i was that dance pad” comments”

– “as always a pleasure to see you play (heart emoji)”

– “Are you going to dance ?”

Wow.  These guys must REALLY like video games.  And this Mickey Mouse Power Pad in particular.  Why else would they say these things?  There’s nothing pornographic about this.

I mean, in reality, for a non-retarded person, of course there’s nothing pornographic about this shit.  But for retards, this is their thing.  The group home has a porn filter on the computers.  She knows all of this.  She’s making porn for retards.

Erin says, “Yeah, it’s a letsplay….but with dancing, lol. It’s basically a DDR letsplay. BUT DISNEY”

Oh, and you know who else is here?  Hungry Goriya.  She’s hot for Erin.

Hungry Goriya: Hey! Looking forward to this one. I hope the music was good

Erin: @Hungry Goriya hey! this is going to be VERY silly. But yeah the songs are very cute!

Hungry Goriya: Right on… nothing worse than a dancing game with music that’s not any good!

Get a girlfriend, Hungry Goriya.  This is fucking embarrassing.  You’re worse than the horntards.

Somebody says, “just 5 more minutes!”

This is fucking gross.  A bunch of mentally challenged people preparing to jerk off.  Are you hard yet, Enzo?  They’re all going to cum at roughly the same time.  

– “the power pad one was risque”

He’s probably banned now.  For stating the obvious.

Then Enzo says, “OMG just 60 seconds!”

Dude.  You can watch fully naked women with giant tits getting fucked RIGHT NOW.  Don’t you get it?

It’s about to start.  There are 63 people here.  That’s not too many.

NewWaveJunkie is here.  He’s all lubed up.

Some guy gave her five dollars.

Julia Durant says, “Erin ,you got only fans ?”

Erin replies, “Nope, not my thing.”

Her thing is pornography for retards.

It’s starting!

Oh this is shameless.  It starts off obviously sexual and she references the Power Pad video.

– “Cute socks, Erin!”

Fuck.  I can’t type this live but I’ll go back and review the video in more detail later.  I’ll just focus on the chat now.

– “​If I could give you a compliment Erin you look really fit Have you been working out?”

– “ff yea she’s wearing shorts”

Oh fuck.  Erin just made a blatantly sexual “joke”.  I’ll do this later but all the horntards say “LOL”.

She keeps bending over and showing whatever cleavage she has.

Erin isn’t even chatting, by the way.  Maybe she’s mortified by all of this.

– “She has nice legs”.

Why is she wearing socks anyway?  I know it’s to not appeal to people with a foot fetish but…why does she discriminate against them?

Hungry Goriya says, “I’m tired just watching.”

I’ll bet.  Put your panties back on and go do something more interesting.

– “Nice legs”.

Oh, Mike makes an appearance in the chat.  He says “quack”.

Then somebody says, “Mike Matei Wazzup brother”

That has to be awkward.  Jacking off to some guy’s girlfriend while he’s in the chat.

We all know what’s going on.  Isn’t this awkward as fuck to anyone?

Somebody asks Erin if she played Donkey Konga.  She says that she hasn’t.  You don’t say.

Why do people want to see Erin’s leg fat bouncing?  Is this what an attractive leg looks like?  She just looks chubby to me.  I mean, I don’t want to encourage anorexia or body fascism but…I don’t know.  I’m sure that she’s not chubby and most everybody’s legs would wobble like this but…do people want to see jiggly leg fat?  I genuinely don’t know.  Is that appealing to people?

So that’s the video.  Wow did it suck ass.  And it was really short.  

Somebody says, “Well that was short”.  Indeed.  

And Erin didn’t even say anything at the end.  No “goodbye” or “thanks for watching” or any of this shit.  She just left.

Let me now go back and give a “proper” review.  Not that I really have to.  NOTHING HAPPENED.  

0:00 – “Hey guys.  So if you liked my Power Pad video, well you are in for a treat because now we’re taking it to the N64.”

And she says all of this in a sultry manner, with her hands on her hips, and thrusting her pelvis.

0:15 – She leans over and shows…cleavage.  She does this a lot during the video.  If it was a woman with bigger tits, this might be more exciting.

0:30 – She’s standing with one leg bent, hard to describe, but she’s obviously trying to direct focus to her legs.

0:45 – “This is all in Japanese so I hope I’m choosing the correct difficulty.”

If she ever decided to learn Japanese, “easy mode” would be the first phrase that she’d learn.

1:15 – “I love that.  How it looks like you’re inserting a disc.  That’s so cute.”

Then she teases a Playstation dance pad that she’s going to “play next”, which of course means, “For a Youtube video, for money.”

1:30 – “I used to play DDR in high school a lot.”

Define “a lot”.  She might have played it once.  

Oh yeah.  She’s talking about the time that she went to Aladdin’s Castle (some arcade) for her 16th birthday and played “DDR” there.  She told this story before.  It’s the only time IN HER LIFE that she played “DDR”.  

And then, it’s just footage of Erin’s cellulite bouncing.  

2:30 – Erin talks about how she never played this before.  Of course.  “Because I wanted this to be more of a first reaction.”

That’s every fucking video from Erin.

“It’s hard to talk (exhales) while doing this.”

Shishi is changing his underpants.

3:00 – “I think it’s funny that it’s a disc when, like, it’s a cartridge game.”

It’s clearly simulating putting a CD into a CD player.  Not a game.

What must Erin’s parents think about all of this?  She’s debasing herself for pennies.

3:45 – “I’m going to fall on my ass.”

Mm hmm.

“Yay!  We got perfect on the one where we had to do THAT!”

And she does like a splits manoeuvre.  Tell me that this isn’t intentional.

4:00 – “E!  Come on, at least give me a D”

This was clearly prepared ahead of time.  Then there’s a picture of Goofy with a shocked expression.

“This is kicking my ass but it’s nothing like World Class Track Meet.  That really kicked my ass.”

She sure is saying “ass” a lot.  Ass.

4:15 – “This is a cute game.”

You don’t say.

4:45 – “This one’s hard.”

Mm hmm.

Is it even possible for these shorts to be any shorter?

She keeps leaning over.  I don’t know why.  Well, I do, but…what’s the non-pornographic explanation?

6:00 – “That’s hard.”

It is Erin.  Shishi and the gang are very hard.

6:45 – The Elmo puppet makes an appearance.  There’s absolutely no reason for this.  He’s not appearing after any particularly sexual remark, for example.  It’s just totally random.  It happens twice in the video and it just doesn’t make any sense.

7:15 – “Isn’t this like Jock Jams?  Remember Jock Jams?”

Only sort of.  Tell us all that you know about Jock Jams, Erin.  I think that she just did.

7:45 – Then she sits on the floor because she’s just so exhausted from playing this children’s game for a few minutes.  Apparently.

I’m sorry but this is gross.  I just keep focusing on Erin’s leg fat.  I’m not saying that she’s overweight, but why would anybody want to see this?  

8:30 – “This is fun.”

Oh sure it is, Erin.  Video games are often fun.  Why don’t you try playing some in your spare time?  You might like it.

“It’s really hard.”

Mm hmm.

9:00 – “I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing.”

Maybe play the game before you do the video.  Just a general suggestion.

“Look at all of the picnic stuff in the background.”

Cute.

9:45 – “This is adorable.”

So you’ve said.  Many times.

10:15 – She’s standing in such a way to emphasise her legs and obviously flat ass.  I don’t even know anything about asses but I know that that’s a flat ass.  I don’t think that most guys like flat asses.  Personally, I don’t give a fuck but this whole thing is a mystery to me.

10:45 – “It’s like a hard one.”

She must have said “hard” at least 20 times in this video.  I haven’t catalogued all of them.

11:45 – She falls to the floor again.  She’s just so tired, guys.

12:45 – “Fuck it.  I’m done.”  Then she bends over and sits on the floor.  

13:00 – “That Donald Duck section kicked my ass.”

Mm hmm.

This was trash.  It’s not going to reach anywhere near the lofty heights of the Power Pad video.  This was just a pale imitation of her previous work.  A desperate attempt to try to recreate the “magic” of the Power Pad video.  She even wore the same fucking outfit.  I mean, come on.

– “You should play Seaman for the Dreamcast next!”

This has to be a double entendre.  It has nothing to do with the video.

– “There goes Erin wearing shorts again. Did you learn nothing from the power pad controversy”

People make a lot of comments like this.  It’s not a controversy.  There’s nothing scandalous per se about these videos.  

The issue is that she’s doing this clearly to excite…whoever would be excited by this.  There’s a sexual element and it’s INTENDED.  You’d have to be a complete fucking moron not to realise this.  Just read the comments.

But yeah.  This is just a trash video.  It fails to inform, it failed to entertain, and it fails to titillate.  As always with Erin’s videos.