Gamer Girls

Whoa. Pam’s got the melons out on full display for this one. Views must be absolutely tanking.

That midlife crisis tattoo is horrible. Come on, Pam. Use your fucking head. Plenty of horntards told you not to do it and you blocked them all.

0:45 – She talks about the revival of her podcast Media Mavens aka Harpie Mavens. We’re on tenterhooks here, Pam. We love your podcast with Pele so much and we want more. Thank fuck that she’s bringing Harpie Mavens back. You guys like podcasts about Pam’s idea of feminism, right? Then Harpie Mavens is for you. It’s going to set the internet on fire.

Oh what. Then a voiceover says that she meant Point & Drink Adventure (her podcast with Pele), not Harpie Mavens. What a tease.

Bring Harpie Mavens back. You can listen to them all here:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/media-mavens/id1099848308

I have all 65 episodes downloaded and I listen to them whenever I’m feeling too masculine. Pam and her ex-girlfriend Riley really know how to talk about how awful men are.

1:15 – “I went on a rant against…cozy games. So if that sounds interesting to you…”

It sounds interesting to NOBODY, Pam. NOBODY. What is she even talking about? “Cozy games”? Is that the name of a developer or…is she talking about…like some dumb genre of games? I don’t care either way. I don’t care at all. Talk about something important or interesting in some way. A rant about video games? Come on. I’m not 10 years old and neither are you. Let’s have a discussion about something that semi-intelligent adults can enjoy.

1:30 – “I keep on creeping up closer and closer to 100,000 subscribers.”

That’s why she has her tits on display. She really wants that 100,000. Maybe if she promises to actually get them out, she’ll reach that milestone sooner.

1:45 – “If you know of anybody who might like my channel…”

There’s no such person. It’s awful. It’s a terrible channel. She’s a personality blackhole.

2:00 – The shoot oot is back. Holy shit. It’s called NoCaps. It’s just a woman talking over video game footage. She doesn’t appear on camera. What the hell? I can’t jerk off to this.

Then Pam talks about some games that she played this month. Like…a lot of games. I’m only going to listen to her talking about Quest for Glory II because it’s an excuse to tell that story about my friend breaking the game.

13:00 – Wait…what? She’s playing the fan-made remake, not the original game. Fuck this. She’s a part of the problem.

I hated the switch from text parser input to just fucking clicking on everything. That’s brainless. Give me the fucking text parser.

If anything, people should be taking Quest for Glory 3, 4, and 5 and turning them into text parser games. Maybe not 5. Who gives a shit about that rushed piece of crap? But 3 and 4 at least.

It’s a company called AGD Interactive who made these games. They did it for the first three King’s Quest games and also for Quest for Glory II. Those games are free. Then they made a couple of original games and you had to pay for those. I don’t think that they sold ANY. So they gave up. They haven’t updated their website since 2019.

13:15 – Pam says that she didn’t play much Quest for Glory II because of the text parser. YOU’RE A DUMMY, PAM! WHY BOAST ABOUT IT?

14:00 – She complains about navigating the streets being annoying. That was copy protection, you dumb bitch. You needed the printed map that came with the game. And the remake, from what I recall, did something to eliminate this.

So how much have I written so far? That’s a fair amount. Do I need to get into this story? My mother made me loan a game to my friend despite my vociferous protests. It was my favourite game. I had just gotten it. I was huge into the original Quest for Glory and to a lesser extent King’s Quest. Then one day, he returns the game and it doesn’t fucking work. He must have tried to copy it or something and it got fucked up. And he denied that he did it. “It was working when I had it.” So what are you suggesting? That it broke between the time you handed it to me and two minutes later when I put it into my computer?

He was in a really big hurry to leave too. Usually, when he would stop by, he would stay and we’d play computer games or something. This time, he just handed the game off and left immediately.

It’s bullshit. He knew that it was broken.

Well, my mother must have gotten me a replacement. It was her who made me give it to him, after all.

No. Didn’t give a shit.

I didn’t play the game again until many years later when the Quest for Glory Anthology came out, containing Quest for Glory I to IV.

What time frame are we talking about here? Quest for Glory II came out in 1990. I probably got it that year. This was like the only game that I’ve been excited about.

The anthology came out in 1996. It’s possible that I got it that year.

That’s six years. And in that six years, computer capabilities had changed massively. For one thing, there was the shift from disks to CDs.

Also, I changed. I was in like the sixth grade in 1990 and a senior in high school in 1996. So the game didn’t have the same appeal. I still played it. I played it a lot. I played all of the games. I beat all of the games many times. Even the shitty games (the third and fourth games). But how much more magical would it have been if I was playing the game in 1990 when it just came out, when it was fresh, when it was cutting edge, and I was the appropriate age to enjoy it?

That fucking piece of shit took the game from me, despite me crying and begging my mother not to let him do it, then he returns it in a broken state. Doesn’t offer to pay for it. Claims that there’s nothing wrong with it. Who would do that?

If I went to somebody’s house and he’s crying and begging his mother not to let me borrow something, I’d say, “Relax. I don’t want it. It’s okay. I’ve got plenty of other games at home. Don’t worry about it.” I wouldn’t say, “Oh, gee, thanks Mrs (Whoever)! I’ll be sure to break it and then deny responsibility.” Fucking asshole.

Oh, his father died ten years ago. What an asshole that guy was. The asshole apple doesn’t fall far from the asshole tree. I called his house once when I was in like the fifth grade and he answered and said, “He’s not home. What do you want?” I said, “To speak to (whoever)”. He hung up on me.

So I told my mother about it and she said it was a wrong number. No, you dumb “gaslighting” bitch. It was the right number. His father was an asshole. Stop denying reality.