Gamer Girls

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IitUjVMAjCU 

Hey guys!  Remember unboxings?  Well, Erin is bringing them back.

What’s next?  The Cinnamon Challenge?  Planking?

So let’s watch as Erin opens this piece of shit that she doesn’t even want.  FOR EIGHTEEN MINUTES!  How long does it take her to open a box?  Maybe she forgot how to open boxes.  She “always” “forgets” how to open boxes.

0:00 – What is this shirt?  A sort of anime girl with bunny ears riding a phallic rocket?  

And we’re treated to seeing Erin’s god awful tattoo.  Just get that shit removed.  She doesn’t like it either.  Mike has the money.  Have him pay for the laser removal.  I think that it’s fairly painless and doesn’t leave much scarring.  In any event, however you look afterwards will be an improvement over this horrendous candy cane/ice cream trucker tattoo.

0:15 – She’s struggling to get it out of the shipping box.  And she’s not showing this because, presumably, her address is on the box and she doesn’t want Shishi banging on her door tomorrow.  

But then why not spend two fucking seconds taking it out of the shipping box BEFORE you start the video?  Because that would require effort and Erin doesn’t like putting effort into anything.

0:30 – There are so many fucking edits already in this.  She doesn’t know what this thing is called.  She keeps having to look at the screen to remind herself of the name of this thing.  She keeps mispronouncing it.  This is awful.

1:00 – A “trading card” came with this thing.  Just loose.  Outside of the box.  She holds it up and you can’t even fucking see it.  How about holding it close to the camera?  

She keeps looking at the computer.  I assume that she did this on stream, for money.  Let me check.

Yeah.  Of course she did.  This was during a Castlevania 64 stream.  I flat out refuse to watch any of these Castlevania streams.  And she streamed Castlevania for three hours one day and four hours another day.  What happened to her carpal tunnel syndrome?

1:30 – She shows some…”poster” that she got.  But it’s just a shitty black and white promotional thing for the company who released this shit.  

Then she just reads the games that are on this thing.  Fortunately, the titles are all on there, otherwise she would have no fucking clue.  This is Erin reading Star Trek t-shirts all over again.

2:30 – “Oh is that the — I don’t even remember everything that came with it.”

Erin “always” “forgets” what came in this Castlevania thing.

“This is going to look so pretty on my shelf behind me.”

Pathetic in the extreme.

She keeps editing out every time she struggles with opening the box.  Why?  Who gives a shit?

3:00 – “I forget.  The shadowbox, I think it lights up or it plays music or something.”

Erin “always” “forgets” if the shadowbox lights up or plays music or something.

Then Erin starts talking about her shirt.  It’s a Parodius shirt that she got from some website who’s probably paying her to talk about it.  She said that she “needed” this shirt.  You know…because she’s such a Parodius fan.  She played it once, on stream, for money, and then never again.

3:45 – It came with a Castlevania pin.  What is Erin going to do with this?  Put it on her jeans jacket?  

“That’s cool”.  

Great stuff, Erin.

4:30 – “This is a nice box.”

She’s literally talking about the empty box.  She’s taken everything out of the box because she was too inept to just show things as she takes them out of the box.  So she’s showing the empty box at the end and says that it’s a nice box.  Really riveting content, Erin.

4:45 – She’s showing the shadowbox.  That probably should have been the thing that she showed last as the grand finale.  Has she never seen an unboxing video before?  They show the cheap shit first and save the main thing for the end.

It lights up.  It plays music.  Then she puts it on the little table behind her.  You can’t even fucking see it.  She puts it off to the side.  Off-camera.

5:45 – She shows the “NES version slip cover thing”.  Whatever that is.  She doesn’t know and I don’t know.  But she has the advantage of holding the thing and being able to read what was in this thing.

6:00 – It also comes with a book.  It’s more like a pamphlet with a hard cover.

“I don’t think I’ve ever done an unboxing.  I’ve done like blind bag openings on stream but I don’t think that I’ve ever done anything like this.  I feel a little awkward.”

You don’t say.  Your natural charisma and confidence is just shining through.

7:00 – She’s reading from the chat.  “I should do more unboxing on the channel?  Maybe.”

That would require Erin actually buying video game shit.  So don’t you see the problem, retards?  

7:15 – “Then we’ve got Dracula’s Curse.”

What is this thing?  We don’t know.  And Erin doesn’t know.  It’s just a piece of paper that says “Dracula’s Curse” so Erin read this piece of paper.

9:00 – Tiny Castlevania boxes in some kind of frame.  It’s blurry as fuck.

Then she reads the titles.  I knew it.

“This is cute.”

Good stuff, Erin.  You’re a real entertainer.

9:45 – A Genesis box.  

10:00 – “Unboxing stuff is fun.  I like watching it.  I just feel silly doing it.”

Because you don’t have any idea what any of this shit is.  And you don’t care.

10:30 – “Oh my god.  There’s more.  This makes me feel better about all of the money that I spent on this.”

All of Mike’s money, surely.  How could it be her own money?  She’s making fifty bucks a month on Youtube and like $6,000/year on Twitch.  Then whatever she’s getting from her various promoted tweets and videos.  It can’t be much.

11:30 – “Thank you so much Shishi for subscribing for 31 whole months.”

It comes with a poster but it’s all folded up.  She says that she wants to frame it but doesn’t like that it came all folded.

Surely, this poster is available somewhere, in rolled format, for five bucks.  Let me look.

https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1277699063/poster-castlevania-artwork-cover-konami

There’s something on Etsy for about $30.  I can’t figure out exactly what it is but it’s the same artwork.  I think this guy just makes these in his basement.  Some kind of bootleg art prints.

12:45 – “And there’s more.  Are you guys sick of this yet?”

Yes.

13:00 – “So this is like the tin case.”

There’s a word for this.  I don’t know what it is.  But these things come in a lot of these nerdy “premium” boxes.  

13:15 – “It’s so cute.”

Great stuff, Erin.  Keep up the good work.

A horntard is talking about the double-sided folded poster that she was talking about earlier.  “Frame it so it’s glass on both sides.  Yeah, I’ll probably do something like that.”

It would cost a hundred bucks easily to get this thing professionally framed.  That’s why I was looking for a rolled version of this poster.  Because you’re going to spend $100+ to frame a fucking folded poster that came in some stupid video game collection?  

Even if she did it herself, the frame is going to cost, whatever, forty dollars.  Absolute minimum.  And then you’re going to spend hours trying to frame it and it’s going to look like shit?  

13:30 – “This is the actual game and it comes in a little NES slip cover which is a cute touch.”

Great commentary, Erin.

13:45 – “I have a PS4.  I bought it for Doom Eternal.”

A game that she played once, on stream, for money.  And there’s no way that she bought it.  Mike bought it.

“Then right after I bought it, I remember that’s when my carpal tunnel started getting insanely bad so I haven’t touched my PS4.”

Uh huh.  Fucking ridiculous.  Constant lies.

15:00 – “So anyway, look at this box.  It’s a very pretty cardboard box.”

Uh huh.

17:30 – She’s showing the small video game boxes again.  She says that they’re cute.  Great stuff, Erin.

17:45 – She shows the larger boxes again.  She says that they’re cute.  You don’t say.

So that’s the video.  That was really interesting stuff.  I was on the edge of my seat.

This thing was $175, I think.  It’s trash.  Who would want this?  What adult would want these fucking trinkets, most of which are paper or cardboard?  And what kid today would want a collection of old games?  Or a physical copy of anything?  

The target demographic seems to be emotionally-stunted men who are giant nerds and can’t get dates.  

Erin has absolutely no interest in any of this shit, of course.  This is just one of her fake interests.  But this thing is just a piece of shit.  And you had to pre-order a year in advance?  No.  No sensible person would do this.