https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a08VukAP6Mc
0:00 – “Hey guys! What’s up? Happy Sunday. Well, now it’s Monday but, you know, whatever. So I want to start off this stream with opening this Bananya.”
I don’t know why but I just suddenly…I know that I’ve said this many times but she’s completely wasting her life.
1:00 – “Today, we’re going to be playing Kickle Cubicle. It’s a cute name for a very cute game.”
She’s getting $250/month for this. In fairness, that’s just for Youtube. How much do you suppose she’s getting from Twitch? Let’s be generous and say that it’s another $500/month. $750/month is what she’s making. She’s completely debasing herself for a handful of horny retards for $750/month. Plus, the ass fucking.
Minimum wage in New Jersey is $12. I think that she actually lives in New Jersey, not rural Pennsylavnia. So if she worked a full-time, minimum wage job, that would be $1,920/month. Then whatever taxes are but I assume that she has to pay taxes on her internet earnings too, unless maybe the amount is so low that one doesn’t have to pay taxes. No world-wide debasement required. No getting fucked in the ass by Mike Matei required. Dignity is free.
1:15 – “This game is ridiculously cute. Look at this. It’s Garden Land.”
Yeah. We can all see it, Erin.
1:30 – “I forget. Okay, so those don’t move.”
She was trying to move some stone. She “forgot” how to play the game. She “always” “forgets” how to play video games. Because she never played the fucking game before.
She’s remarkably bad at this game, by the way. If that even requires mentioning.
2:30 – “Look at the corn!”
We can all see it, Erin.
4:30 – “Bell peppers!”
We can all see it, Erin.
5:30 – “Look at the eggplants!”
We can all see it, Erin.
6:15 – Whoa. She missed one. She didn’t give the pumpkins a shout out. Fortunately, I was able to see them for myself.
7:00 – She mentions that somebody on Youtube left a comment suggesting that she stream this game. This is what the horntards do. They like watching her play “cute” games. This is their fetish.
She doesn’t even understand the mechanics of the game.
8:15 – She dies because she’s an idiot and really, really bad at video games.
8:30 – “What are my thoughts on sun-dried tomatoes? (long pause) I think they’re fine.”
Great answer, Erin. This is really interesting stuff. She’s just oozing charm and charisma.
Then she makes it clear that she doesn’t know what sundried tomatoes are. I don’t know either, to be honest. But I wouldn’t pretend that I do and then give a boring as fuck generic answer. This is what she does. She doesn’t know anything about anything so her coping strategy is to give boring as fuck, generic answers to make it look like she knows what’s being discussed.
8:45 – “It’s not often that I get asked my thoughts on sun dried tomatoes. They’re fine. I don’t love them, I don’t hate them.”
She clearly doesn’t know what they even are. How can she proffer any opinion?
11:15 – “Are those peaches or acorns?”
The question that nobody on earth gives a fuck about. But they’re peaches. Clearly.
13:00 – “Look at all of these flowers!”
We can see them, Erin.
And she’s surprised by things that seem to regularly happen in this game. She obviously has never played it before but once again, she’s pretending that she’s played this before.
13:15 – “And then onions appear!”
We can see them, Erin.
This is all that she does. She’s just giving a running commentary of the new vegetables that appear on each level. This is the level of commentary that she can provide because she knows absolutely nothing about video games. Or about ANYTHING. She’s completely incapable of saying anything remotely interesting.
13:30 – “Yes, this game is ridiculously cute. Oh, it’s a crab!”
We can see it, Erin.
13:45 – “I don’t know what I’m doing.”
She’s said this numerous times during this stream. And it’s true. This is the one true thing that she’s said so far. She has absolutely no clue how to play this game.
16:15 – “Pickles!”
It’s just so fucking stupid. She’s a complete moron.
And she’s only using one button. Somebody in the chat explained to her what the other button does but she seems to think that it’s optional.
16:30 – “Hello, CheerioEater. Have you eaten any Cheerios today?”
Good conversation skills, Erin.
17:00 – “Onions!”
Good stuff.
“You like deep fried pickles? I’ve never had a deep fried pickle.”
You don’t say.
18:30 – “Carrots!”
22:00 – “Pumpkins! I like how the pumpkins look.”
Horrendous gameplay, by the way.
22:30 – “Oh, so that’s what the other button does. It gets rid of buttons or it replaces buttons. I’m not entirely sure what the other button does yet.”
Erin said, quite clearly, that she’s played this game before. She’s now on a level that REQUIRES using this other button in order to advance. It’s a level on the first stage of the game. It’s like the tenth level.
So when she says that she played the game before, it must have been for a matter of minutes, if that. And she never got this far in the game before. She clearly has no idea how to play. She’s really, really, super, incredibly bad at the game.
23:15 – Then she stumbles through the level. No love for the green peppers?
23:30 – A horntard asks about the NES Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game and Erin says that she wants to do a playthrough of that and she was “practicing” the game over a year ago.
We can all look forward to the full Erin Plays playthrough of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. How the fuck is she going to get through that?
23:45 – “I really like it. I think the furthest I’ve gotten was the Technodrome.”
Oh, do tell, Erin. So that means that she got through the underwater level. Well, we can all enjoy that video when it comes out.
24:15 – She doesn’t know that you can’t walk on the blocks that have holes in them. Even I know this and I’ve never played this before. I know this because I was paying attention to an earlier level that had this exact same issue.
She’s completely bamboozled by this ridiculously simple concept. She keeps doing the same thing over and over and over again and getting nowhere.
25:45 – Through brute force, she eventually completes the level. She doesn’t shout out the peaches because she still isn’t sure what they are.
26:30 – “Eggplants!”
We’ve seen this one already, Erin. They’re duplicates now. Do you still have to keep shouting them out?
27:00 – “Have I played Guardian Legends? No, I haven’t…on stream.”
What an odd comment. So what about off-stream? Is she implying that she played a game off-stream? That doesn’t happen.
28:45 – She pronounces the “w” in “sword”. I’ve never heard this in my life.
29:00 – So some horntard was talking about Iron Sword. And Erin says, “Iron Sword, I really want to get into.”
Why? And this is just another lie anyway.
“Unless I’m thinking of the wrong game, but I’m pretty sure that I’m thinking of the right thing.”
So she doesn’t even know what game this guy is talking about. But she really wants to get into it. She just hasn’t yet. For reasons not stated.
This game is pretty straight forward but Erin really struggles. She has no idea what she’s doing.
30:15 – “Oh, do I have to build up and around?”
Yes, you moron.
30:45 – “No, because then I can’t go that way.”
She still doesn’t get it. She doesn’t seem to understand that the blocks of ice that you create can travel over the ice blocks that have holes in them, but the character can’t.
Also, I’m really interested in what this second button does. Erin doesn’t use it.
She’s so fucking stupid. The solution is really easy but she’s making it way more complicated than it needs to be. This is a game for children, by the way.
Then she dies.
32:15 – Oh, then she actually tries the other button because she has no idea what the solution is. It’s not helpful.
33:30 – This is unbelievable. I have no idea why she can’t figure this out.
34:00 – “Oh, no. I guess that is what I do.”
It’s not. And she’s completely stuck if she continues as she’s been doing.
34:45 – She finally stumbles through the level. What an imbecile.
35:45 – “I should play Wacky Races! I’m going to write that down.”
She doesn’t even know what the game is. Or the cartoon.
36:15 – “Have I played Hook? No, I haven’t.”
You don’t say. And this is a Disney game so it’s a game that you would expect Erin would have played. At least on stream, for money.
37:45 – She stumbled through the level and then misses the tomatoes because she immediately turned to the chat.
38:15 – “Oh, my god. Is this Princess Tomato? Is this her origin story?”
Erin played Princess Tomato one time in her life. It was on stream, for money.
38:45 – “Hello, HungryGoriya.”
More like HornyGoriya. Am I right, fellas? HungryGoriya is a horny lesbian for Erin.
Fucking pathetic.
39:15 – After commenting on how cute the jack-o-lanterns are, we get to a boss fight. “Oh my god. This is the first boss fight. How do we defeat him?”
You tell us, Erin. You’ve said that you’ve played this before.
Then she dies because she’s a fucking moron.
I’m done. I’ve watched enough of this. Go do something else with your life. This is not working.