Gamer Girls

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vF0Hwmmgovo

Recently, Erin has claimed, “I really like the PC Engine”.  And when challenged to name her favourite games for said console, was unable to name a SINGLE GAME other than “Rondo”.  This happened TWICE on separate days, by separate people.  I describe the incidents here:

https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2021/07/super-silly-n64-stream-with-erin-plays_3.html

https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2021/09/playing-castlevania-rondo-of-blood.html

She refers to the TurboGrafx as the “PC Engine”, not because she’s drawing a distinction between games only released in Japan and games released in the US (she doesn’t know ANY of the games), but because she’s an idiot and doesn’t realise that the TurboGrafx IS, for all intents and purposes, the PC Engine.  

So now she’s going to learn all about the TurboGrafx/PC Engine, in case anyone asks her something silly like “What’s your favourite TurboGrafx/PC Engine game?” ever again.  And what better way to do it than by playing these games on stream, for money.  For a few minutes each.  And then never again.  She just needs names.  She just needs to be able to say, “Oh, Bonk’s Adventure, of course” or whatever and then badly dodge any follow up questions.

She’s decided to title this “TurboGrafx variety stream” as opposed to “PC Engine” because I think she finally figured out her mistake after I wrote like six articles about this.  Make no mistake that Erin is an avid Gamer Grrls reader.  She’s offhandedly referenced the blog a few times, as has Mike.

0:00 – She starts by editing something out.  Way to go.  Let’s see what she’s hiding.  Probably just greeting the horntards.

What the fuck?  She greeted ONE horntard and edited this out.  Who gives a fuck?  Why bother?

“So as you probably know, I’ve explained it on Twitter and on Patreon, my carpal tunnel is really bad.  It was really bad for like the past week, or longer.  That last Rondo of Blood stream really did me in.”

Oh.  This shit again.  The constant child-level lies.  

You know, if you’re going to lie, at least be semi-competent at it.  I have the same complaint about Madam Fomo.  Madam Fomo will come up with completely ridiculous lies like “I got a job as a comic book writer” or “I flew to Florida to get candy apples” that NOBODY could possibly believe.  Give the audience some fucking credit.  

0:45 – So she’s going to look through a couple of Mike’s magazines to try to find games to play on stream, for money.  Why?  Just choose your favourite TurboGrafx games to play.  Why do you have to look through old magazines to discover games?  You should know them.  You “really like” the PC Engine.  I think that every game released for the TurboGrafx was also released for the PC Engine.  So what’s the problem?  

Obviously, she doesn’t know any of the games.  And she can’t even bother to Google “best TurboGrafx games”.  She doesn’t do ANYTHING in her spare time related to video games.  Everything has to be on stream, for money.

1:15 – She says that she was talking to Mike recently about Splatterhouse because he’s streaming that game.  She goes on to say, “I really like the Splatterhouse genre.”

I think that Erin “forgot” the word “series”.  Because the Splatterhouse genre is…what?  Side scrolling beat em up?  She meant to say “series”, presumably.  She “always” “forgets” the word “series”.  

By the way, she only played each of the TurboGrafx Splatterhouse games one time, and always on stream, for money.  Although, I think that she played “Wanpaku Graffiti” twice: once for a Youtube video and once for a Twitch stream, for money.

1:30 – Another edit.  She greeted the horntards and promoted her awful Sega Visions video.  

“Mike almost beat Splatterhouse 2?  That one’s the hardest one for me.  I haven’t beat Splatterhouse 2.  I don’t think that I’ve beat any of them.  I think that I got a bad ending with Splatterhouse 3 and I got towards the end of the first Splatterhouse game but Splatterhouse 2 kicked my ass.”

Let’s just remind everyone what Erin is talking about.  She played these games ONE FUCKING TIME.  It was for a series of zero-effort Youtube videos around Halloween.  

To a casual viewer, it would sound like she actually has played these games in her spare time, perhaps as a kid.  No.  That’s not what’s happening here.  ONE TIME.  For a Youtube video.  And she’s trying to pass herself off as an expert.  

2:00 – “Ha!  Look at this!  ‘Boom'” and she shows an advertisement that says “Boom”.  Then she makes a face.  Even she knows that that was a stupid comment.

2:30 – She finds an ad and says that she’s going to play “Ball Sticks”.  It takes her a while to realise that it’s “Ballistix”.  

She’s a big TurboGrafx fan, guys.  She knows all of the games.

3:30 – Another edit.  A horntard asks her if she got, “the TerraOnion Super HD System3 Pro? It lets you play TG16, CD and SuperGrafx games from an SD card on the TG16 or PC Engine.”  Erin has a clueless expression and says, “No.  I just have the EverDrive.  But that sounds really cool.”

Her usual response.  “Did you…” “No.”  And then she finishes with, “That’s cool.”

Then the popular Psygnosis logo appears.  You know…this one:

We’ve all seen it.  I saw it from playing Lemmings back in the day.  

So Erin sees this logo, it’s obviously totally unfamiliar to her, and she says, “Uh oh…Psy—Psycosis.”

Is Mike watching any of this?  Why isn’t she editing THIS sort of shit out?  Because these are the sorts of comments that blatantly expose her as a fraud.  

3:45 – “You never played TurboGrafx?  What’s the controller like?  It’s nice.”

Great commentary, Erin.  Do you want to describe any features of the controller that you appreciate?  Maybe some ergonomic issues, since you claim to have carpal tunnel symdrome?  Maybe you can simply explain to the horntard that the controller has a multi-speed turbo switch for the buttons.  That was kind of the big selling point of the system.  Turbo controllers.  TurboGrafx.  

No.  Just “it’s nice.”  She’s totally clueless so this is the extent of any commentary she can give.

“Well, I’m using a TurboDuo controller but it’s very similar.”

How so?  Compare and contrast.  She doesn’t know.  So it’s just this complete dog shit, generic commentary.

4:15 – She reads from the chat, “‘The Duo controller’s fantastic?’  It’s fun.  I mean it’s good.”

In what way is it fun or good?  Tell us.  What are the features that you like?  What are some features that you wish it had?  How does it compare to the Genesis or the SNES controller?  Can you tell us ANYTHING about this controller?  No.  She’s completely clueless.  She doesn’t play this shit and she doesn’t care.

5:30 – She’s responding to a question from the chat.  I don’t know the question.  “The TurboGrafx uses little HuCards.  If you look it up on Google, you’ll see what I’m talking about.”

Why not just explain?  “HuCards” was just the dumb marketing term.  They’re plastic cards, about the size of a business card, and the circuitry or whatever is exposed on the front, and you put it into the machine.  That’s it.  Wouldn’t that be a better response than “Google it”?  It’s not a hard question.  But Erin doesn’t know the answer.

7:15 – “This is fun!  I don’t really understand what’s going on but I like it.”

She’s REALLY bad at the game.  As always.  And she’ll never play it again.  The game is pretty bad, by the way.

8:00 – The horntards prompt her that the game looks like Crossfire.  It obviously does.  That’s the first thing that anyone would think.  So Erin, having been prompted by the chat, says, “It kind of looks like Crossfire!”

How so, Erin?  Can you explain?  Do you have any interesting stories to tell about Crossfire?  Did you ever see the commercials?  Did you ever see the Board James episode that the love of your life Mike Matei was in?  

No.  She’s never seen any of that.  She has no idea what Crossfire is.  So again, she just gives a generic answer and pretends to know what’s going on.

10:15 – “I don’t know.  I don’t hate this.  I kind of like it.”

She’ll never play it again.

10:45 – She’s reading from the chat.  “You like the Sega CD?  The Sega CD has some good games, yes.  I’m not too knowledgeable about it because I only played it a handful of times but…you know.”

She’s a total fraud.  Which Sega CD games are good?  Tell us.  Give us a fucking list.  Never mind the list.  Just give us ONE FUCKING GAME.  

She’s never played it before.  Or if she did it was briefly, on stream, for money.  As with everything with Erin.  

I’ve never played the Sega CD.  I have absolutely no idea what games there are for that thing.  So you know what my answer would be to that horntard?  “Oh.  I’ve never played it.”  I wouldn’t fucking lie and give a generic response.  That’s idiotic.

11:00 – A dumb question from the horntards:  “Better angry goalie: this dude or Jason Vorhees?”  Erin thinks about it for a second, and she stumbles over the word “Vorhees”, never having seen it before and not knowing who it is.  Then she says, “Hmm…I wish Jason Vorhees was in this game.”

She doesn’t even know who it is.  Why can’t she give a fucking answer to ANYTHING?  Which character do you prefer: the weird guy in this game or Jason Vorhees?  And explain your answer.  Give ONE reason why you prefer one character over the other.  

She can’t do it.  She doesn’t know who Jason Vorhees is and even if she did, she can’t have any sort of a conversation about anything.  

All she has to do is say, “I prefer this guy because he’s cuter.”  That would be an answer.  It would be a stupid answer but it would be an answer.  

But no.  “I wish Jason Vorhees was in this game.”  That’s all she says.  Then she moves on.  

Okay.  What about telling us WHY you want Jason Vorhees in the game.  What would he possibly contribute to the game?  Tell us, Erin.  Give us one fucking answer to ANYTHING to demonstrate that you have some knowledge about something.  About ANYTHING.  Do you know ANYTHING about ANYTHING?  Is there anything at all in your brain?  Have you done ANYTHING with your life at ANY point?  Have you ever watched a television show?  Have you ever watched a movie?  Have you ever played a video game?  TELL US FUCKING SOMETHING?  Have you ever talked to a human being before?

11:30 – Then she gives her age, after a horntard gave his age for whatever bizarre reason.  She says, “I’m 33, I’m almost 34.”

Then explain the fucking Cykill1986 Xbox name.  Maybe my math is wrong.  Let’s say that she was born on December 31 1986, so the latest possible 1986 birthdate.  That would make her…34 years, and 8 months old.

People put their birthdate in their usernames.  It’s a thing that people do.  And that’s clearly what the “1986” in “Cykill1986” represents.  What else could it be?  

Why would she put the wrong date of birth in her username?  And only be off by one year?  

I’m saying that this is another lie.  1986 is Erin’s actual birth date.  She claims to be a year younger than she actually is.  People do it.  It’s no big deal.  But this is yet another lie from Erin.  She’s 34 years old.  Possibly 35.  Not 33.

11:30 – A horntard mentions Mean Bean Machine and Erin says, “Mean Bean Machine, I’ve never given much time to.  I should play it again.  It’s been a very long time.”

She played it one time, on stream, for money, briefly, during a “variety stream”.  If that.  

Then she decides to switch games.  So that was Ball Sticks by Psychosis.  

She’s going to look at this stupid ad in the magazine again to find another game.  Which game is going to be?  Tune in tomorrow.  I can’t watch this shit any more today.