https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtRlpP7E2fk&t=21s
0:30 – She says that she got a new desk and she’s getting new monitors the following day. Why? Why does she need any sort of upgrade? Whatever. It’s obviously Mike buying this stuff. He thinks that a new desk and new monitors is going to keep Erin around for a little while longer. Bulky furniture and large electronics. That’s what the sugarbabies today are into. I guess.
Oh, I neglected to mention Erin’s costume. It’s a really shitty store-bought Bat…Girl costume. Or something. Why doesn’t Mike spring for nicer costumes?
I have a vague memory of going to a Halloween store as a child. I assume that we were there to look for costumes either for me or for my siblings. I remember seeing what must have been hundreds of those ugly rubber masks. I guess that this is a staple of Halloween stores but who wears them? I’ve never seen somebody wear them.
Do Halloween stores even exist any more? Why did they exist in the 80s? What do these stores sell when it’s not October? The world is a magical place full of wonder.
Oh my god. Erin says that she’s getting a new desk and monitor because she’s been having technical problems with her streams. Is this really happening? Who the fuck told her that her desk and/or monitor were causing the technical problems?
This makes no sense whatsoever.
1:15 – She starts the lies about her “carpal tunnel syndrome” again.
She’s going to use a cute controller that she saw in one of her Nintendo Power streams that has a turbo function. She thinks that this is going to help with her fake carpal tunnel syndrome.
Then she edited something out. It was a lot. She was just talking about things that she’s never done before and whatnot. The usual shit. Nothing interesting.
7:00 – “In 1999 you were graduating high school? That’s cool.”
How is it cool? This is all that she ever says. She refuses to engage with the horntards. She doesn’t know how.
Who would want to go to the chat, say something that you think is interesting, and then the response from your favourite gamer grrl is always, “That’s cool”. I’d be disappointed as fuck. Anybody of normal intelligence would be. But these people are mentally retarded so they don’t know any better. They’re used to having people just dismiss what they say.
7:15 – “I need to get better at, like, not getting hit.”
Yeah…
She’s really bad at the game, in case that needs to be said.
She also compared the game to Rampage earlier on, a game that she recently played on stream, for money.
8:30 – “You were born in 1985? That’s cool.”
Somehow I knew that she was going to say that even before she said it.
Then Erin aka Cykill1986 says that she was born in 1987.
You know what I’m reminded of? This is just going to be another Erin snoozefest so I can inject some childhood stories into the mix to try to add some entertainment value. *Nostalgia*, if you will.
But I’m reminded of a time when some neighbour kid wanted to compare heights. I didn’t even know the guy. Maybe he was just visiting relatives or something. I only saw him the one time.
So I reluctantly agreed to this height comparison and he used his hand to try to compare his height to mine and then he said, “I’m as tall as your hair.” I had a shitty haircut, which was the style at the time. I also had neglectful parents who rarely took me to get my hair cut. So my hair was a little poofed out but nothing crazy.
What I remember most about this wasn’t that smug asshole trying to belittle a kid who was probably younger than him. What sticks out in my mind, and the reason why I still remember this event, is that the mother was there watching all of this and she laughed. Instead of correcting her child, “Hey, that’s not very nice. You shouldn’t speak to people like that”, this scumbag laughed. She encouraged this behaviour.
Obviously, this comment was a fairly minor social faux pas but even as a child, I knew that it wasn’t right for that mother to laugh. I was embarrassed by this kid’s comment and then I was further embarrassed by the mother laughing.
And I’m not even sure if he was taller than me. He was just doing that thing where you put the hand on the top of your head and then try to keep your hand parallel as you measure against the other person. And there’s so much margin for error in that. It can also be faked so easily.
So fuck that kid, fuck his mother, and I hope that they’re both dead now.
9:00 – Erin gives an insane explanation of her understanding of a graphic that always appears on screen showing a guy running toward a flag. The guy gets close to the flag as you progress to the level. It’s obviously an indication to show how close you are to completing the level but Erin thinks that this is some kind of object that you can collect. Or something. She doesn’t have a fucking clue. She doesn’t play video games so this is all totally foreign to her.
10:00 – “I want to make a video of this but I have to make sure that I understand the full gameplay of this.”
That’s why she’s doing the stream. So that she has footage for this zero effort video and the horntards can explain the game to her. Everything has to be on stream, for money. God forbid that she does any research in her spare time. You know…”research” as in playing video games. Even that’s too much work for Erin.
10:45 – She was trying to catch the moon. She thought that the moon in the background was a powerup. Oh my god.
12:00 – She asks the horntards to explain this guy running to the flag that I mentioned earlier. She thinks that if you save people in the game, he advances closer to the goal. No, you fucking idiot. It’s just showing you how far you are in the level.
Other games have done this sort of thing. I can’t think of any offhand but they exist and I’ve played them. Naturally, this is all new for Erin. She doesn’t play video games.
12:30 – “Halloween is not over until sunrise? Good. I like that attitude, Games and Movies.”
This is a literally retarded man who Erin takes money from. He might just be the most retarded person who goes to the chat. He’s the most retarded Erin fan who I’m aware of, anyway. There are bound to be some people who are so badly off that they can’t type, though. And non-verbal retards. People who are illiterate. They’re all there in the chat. This is Erin’s crew. Literal retards.
13:45 – A horntard says that when the person hits the flag, your attack gets stronger. Really? I’d look it up but who gives a fuck?
I can’t watch this any more. How can anyone? She plays Nightmare on Elm Street later on but I don’t want to watch that either.
Fuck. I’ll just pick random spots in the video and see what she says.
25:30 – “Me and Jose started saying ‘lit’ like years ago, ironically, to be funny.”
I think that Jose is in the chat. I also think that Jose used to help Erin with her videos. I believe that he was credited in at least one early video as editing the video or something. This is before she knew Mike.
So…he still goes to the chat? It’s weird. I’m thinking that Erin knew this guy in real life but I could be wrong.
45:00 – A horntard tells Erin about an upcoming game. Erin says, “I’m not sure what that is. What kind of game is that?”
59:00 – She explains why she likes this Bat Girl (sic) costume better than the other one that she has. She gave this exact same explanation at the start of the fucking stream. Change the record.
1:28:15 – Erin suggests doing a “hand turkey” stream for Thanksgiving. We can all look forward to that. Erin tracing her gnarled up carpal tunnel hand.
For Christmas, she’s going to put up lights and, “Maybe some fake snow this year. We’ll see.”
Dare to dream. She’s making $6,900/year from Twitch. It doesn’t leave much money for fake snow.
She’s playing Ghoul Patrol, by the way. She says that she’s never played it before. You don’t say.
You can choose from a male or a female character. No prizes for guessing which one Erin chose.
1:29:00 – Erin reveals that her favourite holiday is Halloween.
Why? What is she doing on Halloween that’s so amazing? This? Putting shitty costumes on for the mentally retarded? This is the highlight of her year?
That’s depressing as fuck. She doesn’t seem to do much with Mike (other than buttsex). She takes a lot of naps. She cries in the bathtub. She visits her parents a lot. She has no job. No money. I don’t think that she has any local friends.
It’s fucked up. But it’s also hilarious. She chose this. This was all planned out. This is all a scheme. She wanted to be a rich and famous gamer grrl on Youtube. She used Mike Matei to try to achieve these aims. And it all went disastrously wrong. It’s a wonderful story. Horrible person fails at her con, ends up getting fucked in the ass by Mike Matei on the regular.
It’s like those security camera videos where a robber holds up a convenience store but then trips on the way out, allowing an employee to apprehend him. You tried to pull a fast one but all it’s going to get you is a lot of buttsex.
1:40:00 – She’s playing Nightmare on Elm Street. She says that she last played it two years ago (on stream for money).
2:01:30 – “What in the spirit of Halloween are you doing? Umm…well, we were playing Zombie Nation and now we’re messing with Nightmare on Elm Street.”
No…he meant in your personal life. But she doesn’t do anything.
“It’s been two years since I’ve played it.”
Yeah. We know. You said. Probably many times.
2:02:30 – Shout out to Horny Goriya’s recent Virtual Boy stream. Erin says that she hasn’t seen it but plans to do so. Sure, Erin. Let us know how that goes.
2:03:00 – “That’s it for me. I don’t want to go too crazy because of the, you know, hand and wrist pain I’m dealing with.”
Uh huh.
Maybe it’s time to get a job. But no. Erin loves the horntards too much. And the $6900/year. And the buttsex. And the humiliation. This is her thing. I guess. This is where she wants to be.
– “I was born in 1982”
That’s cool.