Erin is a Big V8 Fan

She re-tweeted that. She never drank a V8 in her life.

Do they even still sell this shit? I remember at the time I left the US, they started to branch out to fruit juices. This was mid 2000s. Why? Who would want V8 fruit juice? Just focus on the vegetable drink market. They already had that locked up.

And it’s all owned by some multinational conglomerate anyway who probably has their own brands of fruit juice. Why bring V8 into that market?

They had the original V8 juice. It’s a fine product. Then they had the spicy variety. Great. Possibly an improvement on the original.

You’re telling me that there’s nowhere else to go from there? What about an extra spicy variety? And there must be something else that they can come up with. I don’t want to do all of their work for them.

I used to drink them as a kid. They came in those tiny cans that had a pull top. Why were they in tiny cans?

I think it’s because the main market for the beverage is alcoholics. They’re using it to make bloody Marys. So you don’t want a full can.

But the marketing always presented it as a regular beverage that the whole family can enjoy. And that was the case in my family. Nobody was mixing it with alcohol, as far as I’m aware.

Then later, let’s say by the 1990s, they started selling them in regular size cans. I guess by this point, they were more directly targeting the non-alcoholic market.

They also started selling them in large plastic bottles, I think.

Anyway, I liked it. They don’t sell it in the UK but they do sell a product called Big Tom. But that’s clearly marketed to people who want to make bloody Marys. It comes in a glass bottle. It’s spicy. I think that it even says on the bottle that it’s good for mixing with alcohol or on its own. But the “on its own” part is clearly an afterthought. It also has a premium price. It’s fine, probably even better than V8, but I don’t get it very often.

She’s a big Sharper Image fan, guys! And she says that she hopes that Youtuber Retail Archaeology will appreciate this.

Don’t fucking worry about what Retail Archaeology likes. Worry about what Mike Matei likes. She’s forever going on about Retail Archaeology or Joe from Gamesack or whatever but not the guy who she’s fucking living with FOR YEARS. I’m talking the love of her life: Mike Matei. This guy who’s spent untold thousands of dollars on her. Tens of thousands. Hundreds of thousands. Who knows? Takes trips to California with her every two weeks. Gives her free room and board. Showers her with gifts. Doesn’t require her to get a job. Has aggressively promoted her channel at every opportunity. And all he asks in return for all of this is butt sex every night.

But no. Erin just wants to focus on her beta orbiters.

Anyway, somebody in the comments says that in Canada, gift cards don’t expire because they’re considered to be money. Well, that’s interesting. I didn’t know that. They expire in the US. They expire in the UK. But why should they? Canada has figured this out. It’s an interesting piece of trivia.

So Erin, ever the dullard, gives a totally boring reply that doesn’t address this guy’s point AT ALL.

She retweeted this too. She’s a big Napster fan, guys. She would have been 12 in 1999. Something like that. Just chilling on Napster. Downloading those Spice Girls singles one at a time. Each file takes an hour to download.

Before Napster, there were some pirate websites that would have music on them but they would come and go regularly. Nothing really stood out. Then with Napster you were able to download everything, even obscure shit. It was great.

Then I got banned for that Metallica thing. All I downloaded was Enter Sandman but that was apparently enough to get banned. What bullshit. Then the service basically died anyway.

And then there’s this. Which one of these mini arcade cabinets does Erin want the most? She just can’t decide, guys. It’s keeping her up at night.

It’s a stealth ad. She does this regularly for this Numbskull company. It can’t possibly be allowed by Twitter. And how much money can she possibly be getting for these ads? Pennies, I’m thinking.

Oh, top comment is Joe from Gamesack. He says, “LOL I didn’t even notice the game pad.”

This is a reference to Erin saying that she likes the gamepad. She finds it cute. And Joe, according to what he said a few years ago on Reddit, REALLY likes Erin’s content because she points out little things in the background. That’s why he watches her videos. That’s why he reads her Twitter. He’s all about people who point out cute little things in the background.

Uh huh. He’s just counting the days until Mike and Erin’s storybook romance comes to an end so he can swoop in.

Somebody in the comments says that these things are $300. Really? Let me look this up. I won’t use Erin’s link because I don’t want to give her the $0.02.

Yeah, they are. For this cheaply-made piece of shit.

3 thoughts on “Erin is a Big V8 Fan

  1. God, does Erin ever shut up about all the things that she wants?! “I want this, I want that!” These are all thinly veiled messages to Mike about what gifts she expects him to buy for her. Get a job and buy it yourself then!

    1. She does say quite a bit, like her talking about how she wants some Super Mario Bros arcade cabinet and whatever. Which she doesn’t want, by the way. But in this case, I think it’s just a straight up advertisement. She’s getting paid however many pennies by Numbskull to write that tweet.

  2. I just had another V8 memory. They used to come in big tins that required a can opener to open them. We would use one of those pointy can opener type things to gouge a small triangular hole into the can and then another hole into the opposite side of the can (both at the top of the can). The second hole was to allow airflow to make pouring easier. I guess. I don’t know the science behind it. Then we would put tin foil on top of this can to help preserve it.

    What a crazy way to sell beverages. Just in big like half gallon cans like this that require a can opener. But it made it a manlier beverage. It also added to its perceived health benefits. You’re not drinking some sugary children’s juice, you’re drinking vegetable juice from this big fucking can that requires a can opener to get into. This has to be healthy.

    I’d also add tabasco sauce to it and ground pepper.

    Anyway, hopefully Erin can also provide some riveting stories about her experiences with V8. She must have loads of them.

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