Gamer Girls

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVF635Q-870

You can skip the first two minutes.  It’s an ad.

I was intrigued by this video because it’s “only” 75 minutes.  I can do that.  And then I looked more closely and the first 30 minute is Doug Walker and some other guy, and the rest of the video is Johanna and Crystal Quin.  I think that I might forego the latter half of this video but I can do 30 minutes of Doug Walker and this other guy.  Maybe.

2:45 – The other guy’s name is Brad.  Tell me that this guy isn’t gay.  Just listen to him.  He’s gay.

They’re talking about some reboot of Home Alone.  They don’t much care for it even though I don’t think that they’ve seen it.  Maybe it’s awesome.

Oh.  No, they couldn’t have seen it because they’re just talking the trailer.  I don’t think that the movie it out yet.  Or at least wasn’t when they filmed this.

4:00 – So Brad is talking about some James Bond movie.  I never understood the appeal.  This is from a previous generation.  And these movies don’t seem timeless to me.  I’ve also seen current James Bond movies.  They’re not good.

God, this is boring.  I’m at 9:00.  I might just take a nap.  This is the proper use of these videos.  They’re really a good sleep aid.  I say that genuinely.  I appreciate them on that level.

Anyway, the only reason I’m even “reviewing” this video is because I thought of a great new name for Tony.  I always call him “Tony from Hack the Movies”, sort of sarcastically, because that’s the stupid name that he always uses.  But I thought of a sort of comedy name.  Like how I say Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining.  Or Pelvic Gamer even though I know the names she uses are Pelvic Gaming and Lady Pelvic.  Or Madam Fomo for Destiny Fomo.

That was a long build up and my comedy name is going to be a let down but I don’t care.  Tony from Summarise the Movies.

13:30 – So Doug’s reboot that he likes is The Dark Knight Trilogy.

Oh fuck.  I don’t care about this either.  

They’re talking about stuff.  I don’t know.  My mind is wandering.  It’s just white noise.  I feel myself drifting off to Dream Land.

I’m just looking at background stuff now.  There’s a wide shot of the set.  One of the tapes he has is Leo Mania.  Just one of the many homosexual references that are jam packed into every episode of Talking About Tapes aka Hack the Movies.

19:15 – So Tony’s reboot that he likes isn’t even a movie.  I guess that isn’t against the rules.  He picked Lost in Space.  That’s a tv show, I guess.

You know, somebody on Reddit complained about how the Cinemassacre Podcast is too “local”.  It’s true.  If you don’t live in the US, you don’t get loads of the references.  And they’re talking about Wawa and shit.  That’s an example of something where even if you do live in the US, you might not get the reference.  It’s a fucking regional chain.

So I don’t know what fucking Lost in Space is.  I never saw the 60s tv show and I never even heard of the reboot.  Of course, I haven’t watched television in seven years or something.  And I don’t have Netflix or any of that shit.  My entertainment is 100% Youtube.  I think that I made the right choice.  Erin Plays and Tony from Summarise the Movies and Jimmy Rolfe’s output.  Who needs Hollywood when you have gems like this?  This is RuralPennysvaniaWood

24:30 – Haunting of Hill House.  I don’t know what this is either.

32:45 – So Doug and Brad are out and Johanna and Crystal are in.  This would be a convenient point to stop for lunch.  I’ll need my strength for this bullshit.

But yeah, that Doug and Bill or whatever thing.  I don’t even know what anyone was saying.  It was like listening to the adults on Peanuts specials.

33:15 – Tony corrects Johanna and Crystal for their using the wrong words on the Ghostbuster video.  I, unfortunately, reviewed that video here:

https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2021/11/ghostbusters-2016-is-worst-hack-movies.html

Apparently, Johanna didn’t know the term “fake out”.  I have a hazy memory of something like that but I don’t know.  And Crystal kept saying “character arch” instead of “character arc”.

33:30 – Crystal says that she means to say “arc” but it comes out as “arch”.  As proof of this, she says that she’s “literally have been studying acting(?) since my freshman year of high school.  I went to a performing arts high school.  I know what a character arc is.”

Did she even say “acting”?  It didn’t sound like “acting” but that’s the only word that makes sense given the context.

But yeah, she studied acting so that means that she knows that “arc” is the right word here.  It can’t be possible that she’s just stupid.  No stupid people are interested in “performing arts”.  

34:45 – Crystal thinks that Parker Posey is really hot and she wants to have sex with her.

We’re off to a good start.

36:00 – Crystal is talking about the It reboot.  So I can go back to not listening to this shit.

36:15 – Crystal says that she enjoys “gore, nudity, and other fun stuff.”

Oh.  Okay.  This is really interesting.  She’s a real intellectual juggernaut.  I’m hanging on every word here.  We’re getting some real learned critiques about cinema from Crystal Quin, as usual.  Did you know that she went to a performing arts high school?  It was totally worth it.  She’s a famous model now, not to mention her weird, creepy amateur movies that she’s done with Newt, and her award-winning appearances on Talking About Tapes aka Hack the Movies.

40:45 – Shout out to Crystal’s imaginary ADHD.

Here’s the thing.  People with actual mental disabilities rarely go on the internet and advertise them.  Why would you?  People with mental problems usually try to fit into society as best they can.  Like anybody else would do.

I have no doubt that Crystal has mental health problems but I don’t know if ADHD is among them.  

44:30 – Johanna likes the Punisher.  I don’t have to listen to this either.

God, this is the easiest review I’ve ever done.  Just turn it on, say, “I’m not listening to this bullshit” and occasionally write some off-topic shit.

I’m at 52 minutes.  I have no idea what anyone is talking about.  The editor, Mx Jessica, just put another unfunny editor’s note up.  I would call it “unfunny female comedy” but I’m not sure what Mx Jessica’s pronouns are. 

This brings up an interesting point.  Transgender men will often talk about how they’ve always felt like a woman and transgender women will say that they always felt like a man.  But many things don’t seem to cross over.

For example, there was a transgender guy on Big Brother UK years back.  It was a guy who said that he was a lady.  And he was in the backyard talking to all of the women.  And they were talking about womanly stuff.  I don’t remember exactly what.  Feelings and sweet food and whatnot.  

So he just suddenly got up, told them that they were boring him, and left.  Then he walked over to the men and started talking about politics and sports and suchlike.

If he’s always felt like a woman, why isn’t he interested in the sort of topics that women talk about?  

Then we have Mx Jessica.  She looks masculine, she sounds masculine.  Maybe she feels masculine.  But then why does she exhibit such god awful female comedy?  

Maybe she’s not even transgender.  I don’t know.  Maybe she’s just a butch lesbian.  So there’s a lot of speculation on my part here but I just thought it was an interesting discussion point.