You guys like Alf, right? Erin is all about Alf. She was born in 1986 or 1987. Alf was cancelled in 1990. Erin would have been three years old, according to her “official” birthdate. Alf was not shown in reruns, as far as I’m aware.
So she remembers this show from when she was three years old. She watched the show with a diaper full of stool.
I wrote a full article about Alf recently. Erin only knows about the show because a horntard recently mentioned Alf on one of her streams, trying to “remind” Erin of stuff that Mike likes. So now Erin is pretending to be all about Alf.
0:00 – “Ooh. I just gave myself a charley horse.”
How? From sitting?
Let me look this up. I know what she’s talking about but I haven’t experienced this in many years. Probably not since I moved to the UK and started getting some exercise. I don’t drive so I walk a lot to train stations and whatnot. In the US, you just drive everywhere. It’s the same in the UK, if you have a car, but I don’t have a car.
“A charley horse is a painful involuntary cramp in the legs and/or foot, lasting anywhere from a few seconds to a day.”
A day? I never had that happen. I’ve only had the few seconds variety.
I think staying in one position too long is a cause. So yeah. Erin sitting on her ass all day causes this.
“Elf! Elf! I haven’t seen you!”
Clearly. She doesn’t even know the creature’s name. It’s not Elf. This is so fucking bad. But at least she’s being honest. She never saw the show. She was three years old when it was cancelled. It makes sense.
0:15 – “I haven’t seen you in years.”
No. Never. You’ve never seen “Elf”.
1:00 – Mike is pretending to be Willie Tanner and Erin has NO IDEA who this is, or what Mike is doing.
1:45 – She calls the character “Elf” again.
There are multiple edits in this video. Erin has negative charisma. She can’t respond to ANYTHING that Mike says because she’s an idiot. That’s the first thing. But also, she has no idea who any of these characters are. She doesn’t know “Elf”, she doesn’t know Willie Tanner. She certainly doesn’t know Mrs Ochmonek. This is pathetic. It’s fucking horrible. And this clip is supposed to be like a “best of” thing. The best of Erin’s multiple Splatterhouse “practice” streams.
2:15 – “You like the full shots of Elf walking in the show? Those creep me out.”
Then you’re in luck, Erin. You only see it in the intro and maybe one or two episodes in the first season.
She’s never seen the show. Not once. Not for one solitary second. So she’s just saying generic bullshit like usual.
“There’s one episode I saw where he was, like, at the pound because they thought he was a dog and he runs, and for some reason, Elf running is kind of horrifying.”
Maybe Mike forced her to watch an episode recently. So now Erin is an expert on Elf. Because she watched the one episode. Under duress.
3:00 – “The Elf video game? Is there an Elf game?”
Of course there is. Mike streamed it recently. She must not be watching the streams.
3:15 – She’s reading from the chat. “It sounds like I’m saying Elf? I can’t pronounce words sometimes.”
Yeah. Especially words that you’re totally unfamiliar with. Like “Alf”. That’s what happens when you’ve never seen the fucking show before.
Then she looks the game up, finds it hilarious for reasons that aren’t explained, and then says, “Okay, I’m going to do an Elf stream.”
Why does it have to be on stream, for money? Just play it in your spare time like a normal person. You’re such a huge fucking Elf fan, after all.
Fucking Elf. Fuck you, you fucking fraud.
Then the video just ends awkwardly. Of course it did. It started awkwardly, the middle was awkward, and it ended awkwardly. Erin could not be remotely engaging to save her life.
- “There is now lore and a story with Erin living with Alf and Elmo and Ernie. This silliness could be made into a series!!”
Oh, sure. A woman with negative charisma lives with three puppet characters who she pretends to be familiar with and just says generic bullshit. Sounds like a hit.