Gamer Girls

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_HG9lIDZiU

I was waiting for Erin to release a number of these shitty “shorts” videos so that I could review them all together but it seems like Erin has already given up on this shit.  This video was posted 20 days ago at the time of me writing this and it’s her latest video.

She can’t even be bothered to post shitty one minute videos every week.  And wasn’t her idea to post these things in addition to her regular videos once a week?  Because she said that the algorithm wants MORE than one video a week.

Here we are, nearly three weeks have gone by, and no videos at all from Erin.  Her last normal video was over a month ago.  

She’s looking at a random GamePro magazine from Mike’s collection.

“Ooh, Thunder Force III is good.”

Great commentary, Erin.  Let me see if I can find the one time when she played this game, which, naturally, was on stream, for money.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rm0S6ab3ek

It was during a “variety stream” and she played Thunder Force V.  So not even the game that’s being advertised.  She played it for about five minutes.  She really likes Thunder Force III, guys.  She’s a real “gamer”.

You know what…there’s really no need for me to transcribe this video.  It’s just a series of “jokes”.  And I’m saying “jokes” in the Erin sense.  They aren’t jokes by any normal definition, but in her diseased mind, she thinks that these are jokes.  They’re just awkward statements, often showcasing her complete ignorance about video games.  There’s no punchline to speak of.  But she thinks that these are jokes.

This is complete dogshit.  Nobody could possibly find this funny, entertaining, or informative.

– “Fend off”? More like “bend over”, that’s what I was doing in castlevania as a kid”

I invite explanations on this one.  What the fuck is he talking about?  Maybe I don’t want to know.  Something to discuss with a therapist, perhaps.

– “Erin, I just wanted to say I really love your channel. I love your energy and enthusiasm. I also love your differing viewpoints of retro games. By “differing”, I don’t mean opposing. You and I see retro gaming differently, but we both love it, and it’s cool to see a viewpoint that’s different but also from someone who loves what you love. That’s really awesome. I hope your channel continues indefinitely. I’ll keep watching.”

Erin replies, “Thanks so much for the nice comment! I’m so glad you enjoy my channel. I’m not going anywhere and thanks for watching!”

Why is Erin so adamant that she’s “not going anywhere.”  She’s right, she’s not going anywhere.  She’s wasting her life with this shit.

But why the militancy?  Why does she so want to continue to go down this obviously doomed path?  This is never going to amount to anything.  Look at these fucking videos.  They’re indescribably bad.  She knows absolutely nothing about video games, she’s not remotely interested in video games, and she’s a total personality blackhole.  There’s no fixing any of this.

Anything on her Twitter?  She streamed another “variety stream” with Mike recently.  But there’s some LAME AS FUCK Plinko thing that they do.  Hopefully she uploads that video.

Let’s check out her beta orbiter Joe from Gamesack.  She links to his Twitter.

https://twitter.com/GameSack/status/1485423790800912384

“PSA: If you have some minor trivia to correct me on in a recent episode, please rest assured that hundreds of others have already let me know before you.”

Passive aggressive behaviour against your “fans”.  Good way to grow the channel.

Oh, Erin replies, “Bbbbbut it’s SO exciting to get the chance to make a correction or point out a mistake!!”

And then she has a giant fucking animated gif that…isn’t even related to anything, as far as I can tell.  God, she’s so fucking boring.   She never has anything interesting to say.  Not even in written form.  I mean, I get being boring in the videos.  It’s tough for some people to think on their feet, as it were.  But with writing, you have all the time in the world to think of something to say.  She just doesn’t have anything going on in her head.  She’s never done anything in her entire life so she has nothing to talk about.  She’s not used to having to talk to people in any kind of engaging fashion.

You see this a lot with internet dating.  The women are so used to guys acting like dancing monkeys and just bombarding them with “witty” comments and questions that the women put absolutely ZERO effort in return.  They refuse to even attempt to uphold their end of the conversation.  In many cases, I’m not even sure if it’s lack of effort.  These women have gone their entire adult lives like this with men constantly vying for their attention so they simply don’t know how to have a conversation.  They’ve never done it before.  And as a result, these are incredibly boring women.  Just like Erin.

John Riggs, Mike Matei, and RGT85 also reply.  They also deride their viewers.  They suggest that the people watching their videos are nerds and losers and mentally retarded.

They’re not wrong but this is their fucking audience.  These are the people watching the videos.  These are the people sending them money.  And these loser “Youtubers” have no problem insulting them in a public forum.

How dare the horntards try to talk to you about video games.  Shut the fuck up.  I don’t care.  I’m above this.  I’m a big, important Youtuber.  

Let’s look up how much money Joe from Gamesack is getting from this shit.

Nearly $21,000/year, according to SocialBlade.  Whoa!  Look out, everyone.  We have a real baller here. 

Minimum wage in Colorado, where Joe lives, is $12.00/hour.  That would be about $25,000/year. 

But of course with Youtube, there’s also the prestige of being a 45 year old single, balding man who plays video games for the entertainment of the mentally challenged.

Oh, this is interesting.  Erin links to Joe from Gamesack’s Twitter but Joe doesn’t return the favour.  

https://twitter.com/GameSack/status/1484547624011247616

“I haven’t been in the movie theater bidness in 10+ years but always manage to find myself back in one projection booth or another.”

Oh.  So Joe used to work in a movie theatre before he became a big Youtube celebrity.  It’s a common story.  “Youtubers” tend to have work histories along the retail/fast food/cinema vein.

I’m not denigrating the jobs, it’s honest work, but how come you never see any former doctors or dentists or accountants or the like becoming retro gaming “Youtubers”?  Or even any kind of skilled job?  Where are the electricians or the air traffic controllers or the elevator repairmen?  Where are the window cleaners?  Where are the nurses?  Where are the truck drivers?  

If you have a decent job, you’re not getting into Youtube.  Youtube is for people who worked in record stores or Walmart or a movie theatre and these people hate their jobs so much that they decide to risk it by trying to become a big Youtube star.  They sacrifice their dignity in this endevour.

And then these same people, these people who have failed to obtain any kind of halfway decent employment, will go on Twitter and openly mock and insult their audience as though they’re somehow better than them.  

If it weren’t for these people watching the videos and leaving comments and sending money, you’d be back in the cinema making their popcorn.  Or in the record store selling them 30 year old Bruce Springsteen albums.  Or working the cash register, scanning their 10 pound bags of manure.  

You might want to be grateful.  Grateful that you can play video games (poorly in some cases) for a living.  Or some kind of living, anyway.  $21,000/year.  Go get a job at Subway, you bald fuck.  You’d make more money and maybe be able to get a girlfriend.