Gamer Girls

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cP3c0gLTBvA

I don’t know what the title is referencing.  And I don’t know what she’s talking about.  It’s something about how she was in band in high school.  Or something.  It’s like she started in the middle of the story.  I have no idea what she’s talking about.

4:00 – Now it’s a different video.  She’s in a Walmart parking lot.  She starts talking about a futon on Facebook that she and her loser boyfriend were going to buy.

Then said loser boyfriend arrives and says that he’s wearing a $910 hoodie.

If this is even close to the truth, why are they getting used futons from Facebook?

So now they’re at Walmart and they’re going to get a futon.

4:30 – This loser boyfriend says that when he went to pick up the used futon from Facebook, the woman who owned it didn’t think that it would fit in his car so refused to sell it to him.  

I think that this is the same Walmart that they were kicked out of for asking people about “eating ass”.  Too bad the ban doesn’t seem to be permanent.  

5:15 – This loser boyfriend got angry because she suggested doing this another day (he wanted to take the futon apart to see if it fits) but he had already driven 20 minutes to get to this location so didn’t want to do that again.  Twenty minutes is a long time for this loser.  

5:30 – Then they didn’t get a futon.  Instead, they spent “a couple of hundred dollars on an overpriced bed”.  And you see Mint Salad dragging a small box.

How the fuck does a bed fit in there?  Obviously, there’s no mattress but I got a bed from Ikea and it came in several large boxes.  There’s the fucking headboard (that’s one big piece), there’s the bedframe, and there’s the…I don’t know what you call them…there are like ribs that go under the mattress to provide support.  There were also miscellaneous metal pieces and screws and bolts and whatnot.

There is no way that any of these wooden pieces could fit in that box that she’s dragging.  Is it a single sized bed?  That fat fuck couldn’t fit in a single-sized bed by himself, never mind with Mint Salad.  And not even a single-sized bed could fit in that box.

How many pieces must that bed be in to fit in that box?  Maybe it’s like a Lego bed.  

Also, “a couple of hundred dollars” for a bed?  What kind of bed are you going to get for $200?  Well, we see.  It all fits in a small box.

Let me look this up.  Walmart beds.

Wow.  They’re as cheap as $70.  Yeah, I can see some of these cheap beds fitting in that box.  They’re all metal and it’s like the absolute bare minimum for constructing a bed.  I’m not sure how well a bed like this will support our fat friend but whatever.

5:45 – They’re putting the bed together.  There was a mattress in there as well?  There’s no fucking way.

Wait…what?  It was JUST a mattress.  They have a fucking box spring or something on the floor and then they put this foam mattress on top of it.  That’s their bed.  

I think that this is how they do things in Asia.  They just put the mattress on the floor.  But come on.  This is the most ghetto shit imaginable.

6:30 – Then they start singing “bed in the kitchen”.  This just got even more ghetto.

6:45 – Then that fat fuck lays down and he takes up most of the bed.  This is not going to work.  They got a twin-sized bed for a man who requires a twin-sized bed just for himself.

7:15 – He starts talking about how he thought it was going to be like a “juvie bed”.  This is a reference to adolescent prisons, I assume.  It seems that this guy wasn’t rehabilitated.  The system failed him.

7:45 – Fat fuck says to Mint Salad, “You’re too fat for that” as she falls onto the bed.

“It’s a pretty decent bed.  It’s been a while since I’ve had a bed like this.  Probably the last time I had a bed like this was in college and it wasn’t the mattress that was great, it was the foam topper that was great.”

Are beds really this expensive?  Come on.  Just get a fucking bed.  They’re $70 at Walmart.

That’s the video.  The description says, “Mint reflects on drum corps experiences, Riley wears Versace in public (safely, no muggings!) and America’s Sweethearts go buy a new bed for their kitchen.”

So is it possible that he wasn’t joking about that $910 hoodie?  It’s an odd figure.  Let me look this up.

They do sell hoodies in that price range.

So…he spent $910 on an extra-large “hoodie”…but they live in a one-room apartment and they sleep on a mattress on the floor.  

In the comments, Mint Salad says, “It’s weird not having an air mattress anymore like we started using them when Riley moved to Idaho and started moving around a lot and I moved in with him and there are some nice camping beds but a real bed feels awesome now”

So before this “real bed” (which, again, is a mattress on the floor) they slept on an air mattress.

How could this fat fuck possibly have slept on an air mattress without breaking it?  

I had a reasonably good air mattress that I slept on briefly, as a young man, before I got a bed.  It was alright but I was a slim, single man.  

When I moved to the UK, for a long time I just had a futon.  Because I moved a lot and didn’t want to move a bunch of furniture.  I still have the futon but after about ten years of that, I finally broke down and got a bed.  A real bed.  One with a fucking frame.  

I just went to Ikea for all of this.  It’s not terribly expensive.  I probably bought all of my furniture for less than the cost of that “hoodie”.  

It just boggles the mind.  Who would have their girlfriend sleep on an air mattress?  Isn’t he embarrassed by any of this?  Are they just so drug addled that they don’t care?  

They’re living in abject squalor, like the meth addicts they are, sleeping on the floor, but this fucking moron gets a $910 “hoodie”.  He’s getting this money from pimping Mint Salad out and/or selling drugs.  But why not spend seventy bucks on a fucking bed first?  No, I’m going to get a $910 “hoodie”, that nobody can even tell is expensive, that looks like any “hoodie”, that’s going to quickly deteriorate, and sleep on the floor in my grotty apartment with my mentally challenged girlfriend.