I’m not watching a 75 minute “review” of a tits and gore movie, Newt. It’s not fucking happening. I don’t care if PVC Bondage Girl is naked for the whole review. There’s no fucking way that I’m going to watch this.
NOBODY is watching this. Newt is all about sharing his Youtube analytics. So show us the percentage of people who watched this entire 75 minute video. I’m guessing that it’s literally zero.
So we have fucking Newt and PVC Bondage Girl in Newt’s kitchen. Probably late at night. They’re obviously in some weird relationship, even though PVC Bondage Girl has a girlfriend who lives in Minnesota. Maybe Newt is just paying her like he did with Horseface. Some sugardaddy thing.
0:15 – Shout out to the Schlock and Awe Discord, which PVC Bondage Girl set up and probably moderates. Who the fuck would go to this? Who are these hardcore Newt Wallen fans who are hanging around all day in his Discord?
2:30 – Newt tells a pointless story about him breaking out into hives after eating a McDonald’s burger. He’s allergic to onions. You’re not going to woo PVC Bondage Girl with this shit.
5:15 – Now Newt is talking about how he takes pictures of his poop. Again, I don’t want to tell The Ideas Man how to pick up chicks. He’s obviously figured something out over the years (pay them). But from my experience, poop stories don’t tend to impress the ladies.
I’m ten minutes in. I think that I’ve hit my limit. Let’s check out the comments.
- “This isn’t a review, this is just a summary of the plot. Newt went to the James Rolfe school of movie reviewing”
Newt replies, “No. We saw it in the theater and the manager refused to turn the sound off and subtitles on. Plus it was after 6pm. But ill keep trying.”
Zing! Take that James Rolfe! That’s for…what exactly is James’ role in Newt getting hired or fired? None, I guess. Newt was hired by Screenwave. James is a client of Screenwave. So…James might have recommended that Newt get fired but…did James even need to give a recommendation? Newt should have been fired anyway. For wholesale plagiarism.
Newt clearly has some kind of a beef with James. But why? It’s Justin Silverman who fired Newt. So if Newt should be upset with anyone, it should be with Justin. But he’s not. Newt doesn’t have any problems with Justin. Newt had a romantic evening in a hotel suite with Justin a few months ago. Newt wants to be friends with Justin again. Maybe friends with benefits.
I don’t get it. There must be more to this story.
James’ sloth lead to Newt being assigned to write some of the movie reviews. James is a lazy guy. We all know this. But is that a reason to hate somebody?
He’s also mentally challenged. Newt has mentioned this before. He’s mentioned this WHILE WORKING at Screenwave. There was a Hack the Movies episode where to briefly talked about what an idiot James is, and Tony then cut him off.
But…are you going to hate somebody because they’re lazy? Or because they’re mentally challenged?
We’ve all had lazy co-workers. And it sometimes causes you to have to do extra work. I can see being resentful over that. Also the fact that James is taking credit for all of Newt’s work. James takes credit for everybody’s work. That’s a giant asshole move.
Yeah, when you think it through I can understand Newt’s contempt for James Rolfe. Still…Newt did the plagiarising. And it was Justin who fired him. And Newt was working for Ryan Schott, not James Rolfe. James Rolfe was just the shitty client.
So this original poster comes back:
- “Well there’s this great new book on movie making released last week you can do a practise review on”
Newt replies, “oh it finally came out. Makes sense black friday and all. Gotta drain every last buck they can outta the dude.”
So here he’s expressing anger at Screenwave, which makes a lot more sense to me. Screenwave, apparently, gave him too much work to do. Screenwave fired him. It’s the people at Screenwave who want nothing to do with him.
Plagiarising for some shitty Youtube videos isn’t a huge deal. Maybe he shouldn’t have been fired for it. Maybe.
But Newt doesn’t say, “Well, who gives a shit? It’s a shitty Youtube video.” I could sort of understand that. But no. Newt actively defends the plagiarism as an example of him working smarter, not harder. He thinks that he’s some kind of a great worker and great writer by plagiarism.
This is where we stray into mental illness territory. No. You weren’t plagiarising because you’re a great worker. You were plagiarising because you’re lazy as fuck. Just like James Rolfe. How many years do you suppose Newt spent in special education?
There’s not a single talented person over there. Tony, Kieran, Justin, James, Newt. They all put a lot of time and effort into this shit projects, I’m not denying that, but the end the results are always complete dogshit. So why continue to do it? Why spend so much time and effort on things that you’re objectively bad at?
Instead of making awful Youtube videos, you could find something that you’re actually good at. Maybe you’d be a good plumber. Wouldn’t it be more fulfilling to work as a plumber eight hours a day, doing a job that you enjoy, a job that you’re good at?
And it’s not like it would be a step down in terms of salary. You’d get paid MORE as a plumber than with these shit Youtube videos or with Screenwave. And you don’t have to debase yourself on a regular basis with these humiliating videos that the whole world can see.