Gamer Girls

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oA6_my28pj4

I have no idea what this video will be about.  Is that good or bad?  Maybe I’ll be pleasantly surprised.

0:00 – Oh.  Both Gremlins and Back to the Future filmed scenes on the same street.  I hate both of those movies.  But let’s check it out.  Maybe it will be interesting.

0:45 – “But first, a word from this video’s sponsor.”

Please be Keeps.  Or what about BlueChew?  I want to hear James talk about his erectile dysfunction.

“Ever have trouble falling asleep after a long day of gaming?”

Ummm…no.  Does anyone?

People have trouble falling asleep because of stress.  Playing games is not stressful.  What a bizarre thing to say.  

“I know I have.”

You have?  This is preposterous.  First of all, Jimmy does not play video games.  But secondly, the premise makes no sense.  NOBODY is lying awake at night thinking about video games.

Then it turns out that this was all a “comedy” skit.  The real sponsor is some shitty mobile game.  What was the point of any of this?  Do those 45 seconds count towards the ad time?  Because if I was the person paying for this advertisement, I’d be really pissed off that the first half of the ad was off-topic nonsense.

Let’s get back to sleeping for a moment.  When I was in my early 20s, I had a problem with insomnia.  I’d lay awake at night and there’s the whole, “If I fall asleep within the next ten minutes, I’ll still get four hours of sleep” thing.  And you stay up most of the night.

Here’s what cured me: getting a job.  I worked nights and then I’d come home completely exhausted and fall asleep as soon as I hit the bed.  Try it out, Jimmy.  There are jobs out there.  This Youtube thing is not going to last much longer.

2:30 – So now Jimmy is at Bronson Cave.  I don’t know what we’re supposed to get from this.  What’s Bronson Cave?  There was a brief shot of an episode of the original Star Trek series where Kirk fought that Gorn so I guess it’s from that.  And presumably other stuff.  But…I don’t really care.  Well, I’ll give it a chance.

The cave is closed.  So Jimmy points to a sign indicating that it’s closed due to falling rocks.  Then he says, “As disappointing as this is that we can’t go in, it would be even worse if a rock would fall on us.”

What the fuck is this?  How big of a pussy can Jimmy possibly be?  He’s afraid of rocks falling on him?  What are the fucking odds of that happening?  

This is somebody who stayed in his home for three years because he was petrified of covid.  

Now he’s afraid that a rock is going to come crashing down and land directly on his head.  

I know that there’s the sign.  I know that caves have falling debris.  But it’s a one in a trillion chance that any rocks would fall on him.  

Jimmy doesn’t want to take that chance.  One in a trillion is still one in a trillion.  

Then there’s footage of a landslide.  I don’t think that that’s going to happen in a cave, Jimmy.  God, this guy is the biggest fucking coward on earth.

Then there’s footage of a bunch of movies and tv shows that allegedly were filmed at or near this cave.  A lot of this footage doesn’t even show the cave.  It could be anywhere.

4:15 – I’m just looking at this fence in front of the cave.  Is it affixed to anything or is it just propped up against the entrance?  Why doesn’t he just fucking move it and take a quick peek inside?  He came all of this way for this.  He travelled across the country.  From rural Pennsylvania to Hollywood, California.  Like a modern day Jed Clampett.  Why doesn’t he just go in?  

Rocks are not going to fall on you.  A SWAT team is not going to assemble.  Just go in, you fucking retard.

4:30 – So now we’re four minutes in and Jimmy says that he’s going to combine all of the movies and tv shows that were filmed here and…”think fourth dimensionally”.  Whatever this means.

7:30 – Jimmy talks about how the cave is depicted as being huge in the movies, “But in real life, you can get through it in a matter of seconds.”

Not that Jimmy would know.  He’s too busy pissing his pants in front of the flimsy chain link fence barely protecting the entrance.  

Let me look this up.  Surely, people have been in there recently.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oA6_my28pj4

Here’s a video from a year ago.  

2:15 – There’s a fence but this guy gives a much better view of the cave than James has shown thus far.  It’s really short.  This guy also mentions that it’s a man-made cave, which is information that James didn’t give.

2:30 – Here’s a different view, I guess of the other side of the cave.  You can see the fence.  It’s a short fence and you can easily jump over it.  There’s plenty of space on the other side to land.  It’s a five or six foot fence.  No barbed wire or anything.  

Why didn’t Jimmy just hop the fucking fence?  Absolute cowardice.  He was afraid of falling rocks.  How does he even leave his home?  Something can fall on him at any time.  A meteor, for example.  Doesn’t that fill him with terror?

Back to Jimmy’s video.  Yeah, at 8:00 he shows the other entrances to this cave.  And you can just fucking hop those fences in two seconds.

All he’s doing is listing movies that took place at or near this cave.  I’m already bored.

Then he does some weird bullshit where he says something like, “If we combined every character from every movie who ever used this cave, some real hijinks would go on.”

It’s stupid.  This is all stupid. This is just Jimmy shoehorning his weird time travel autistic obsession into the video.  It doesn’t even fit.

10:00 – Jimmy claims that it’s taken him weeks to match up various movies to particular entrances.  Not a good use of his time, if true.  

All he’s doing is showing clips that Kieran probably assembled.  What’s the point of Jimmy actually having gone to this place?  He doesn’t show the cave.  He’s too afraid of falling rocks.  So what’s the fucking point?  Just show the clips.  We don’t need to see you cowering in front of a fence.

17:30 – Jimmy has been talking about this stupid time travel bullshit for a good three minutes now and now he’s really getting into it.  It’s idiotic.  It doesn’t even make sense.

18:00 – There’s a long list of movies and tv shows that are credited for clips that were used.  I wonder if Kieran will get credit for this video.

No.  It just ends.  So it’s implied that this was all James.  It’s a complete fucking lie.

So how to sum this up.  The video was inoffensive but it was pointless.  And boring.  And the time travel shit didn’t make any sense.

Adam the Woo used to make similar videos.  He’d go to a place where a movie was shot and he’d compare a particular scene with how that place looks now.  He’d marry up the film footage with modern day footage.  

This was interesting.  I would watch the fucking video.  I’d be entertained.

But the difference is that Adam WAS ACTUALLY THERE.  He wasn’t cowering in front a chain link fence.