What is The Best Red Dragon Adaptation? – Tony from Hack The Movies

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8QMl2XcPKg

Tony is hacking some movies again, this time with Johanna from Hack the Movies.  Just Johanna from Hack the Movies.  No Horseface.  So maybe this will be tolerable.  Because she’s god awful when Horseface is there.

It was the same with Newt.  Newt was fine when it was just him and Tony but add Horseface to the mix, and it’s horrendous.  Horseface just brings everything down.  Way down.

0:15 – But first a word from our sponsor.  A mattress company.  You know…because so many people buy mattresses based on paid recommendations by “Youtubers”.  

Who even buys mattresses through the mail?  When I need to buy a mattress, which has only happened twice in my life, I go to the fucking store.  A furniture store.  I got my last one from Ikea.  I bought it along with the bed and some other furniture.  Then I paid an extra £25 or something to have it delivered.  Isn’t this what normal people do?  

Never in a million years would I ask some normal postal delivery man to drag a mattress to my door.  This is not their job.  Their job is to delivery normal-sized packages.  

Then there’s footage of Tony unpacking the mattress that they sent him in exchange for doing this ad.  He claims that it cured his insomnia.  These are just blatant lies.  

And why would he even want a new mattress?  Because that’s quite possibly his only payment for doing this ad.  

He presumably already had a mattress.  So what did he do with his old mattress?  You can’t sell it.  Who’s going to buy a used mattress, especially one owned by Tony?  So you just have to throw it out.  But the garbagemen won’t just pick this up, will they?  You have to pay to have a special pick up.  At least that’s how it is in the UK when you want to dispose of large items.  I don’t know how things are done in the US any more.

So getting rid of his old mattress cost him money.  And it’s a giant hassle.  And it’s wasteful.  And was there even anything wrong with his old mattress?  Maybe his old mattress was better.  

2:30 – Oh.  We finally get to the “review”.  This is some Silence of the Lambs thing.  I’ve never seen any of this shit.  I haven’t even seen Silence of the Lambs.  I don’t give a shit about any of this.  

4:45 – Johanna says that she’s going to Disney World again.  What a totally pointless, pathetic life.

She also says that she’s getting married next year.  You know…despite the fact that she constantly talks about wanting to have sex with Horseface McGee.

8:00 – Shout out to Rite-Aid.  Remember Rite-Aid?  

12:15 – Tony “always” “forgets” that Stephen Lang is Freddie Lounds in this movie.

How often is Tony talking about Freddie Lounds and the actor who played him?  

Okay, so I made it to 17 minutes.  I’m not even listening any more.  I have no idea what they’re talking about.  I could leave this on as background noise but what’s the point?  I don’t know what the movie is, I don’t give a shit, I don’t want to hear their summary.  This is pointless.

Let’s check out Tony’s Twitter.

https://twitter.com/HacktheMovies/status/1574446689976459267

Oh, he does that thing where he gives regular updates on how many subscribers he has.  NOBODY CARES!

He constantly promotes his videos.

He talks about professional wrestling.

He posts some unfunny “memes”.

He promotes Mint Salad’s movie reviews.

By the way, her “reviews” are absolutely horrendous.  Nobody can possibly be enjoying them.  Her pimp makes her put out a new video every day and they get like fifty views each.

https://twitter.com/HacktheMovies/status/1574166642518818817

Oh, he went to a movie with that Jesus nut anti-abortion fanatic.  Let’s check out her Twitter because I already looked at Johanna’s and Johanna has NOTHING worth talking about.

https://twitter.com/TheFinalGirl__

Her description is “mostly my beliefs and movie quotes” and she gives her pronouns as “former/fetus”, neither of which are pronouns.  But she’s all about that abortion nut bullshit.

It’s pretty shocking what’s going on in the US with abortion and this is from somebody who doesn’t give a shit about any of this.  But what kind of a fucking redneck, Jesus nut, lunatic would support ANY of this bullshit where they’re outlawing abortion in so many states?  Very few people get abortions.  Those that do, probably should be getting them.  It’s all connected to Jesus nut fanaticism, which, bizarrely, is still a huge thing in the US.  Mostly those backwards, inbred, hillbillies.  Why kowtow to inbred hillbillies?  Why are inbred hillbillies running the country?

https://twitter.com/TheFinalGirl__/status/1570589310268874752

Here’s a picture of her dressed like a prostitute for some horror “contest”.  Well…Jesus did love prostitutes, I guess.

She posted that same picture four times in a row.

https://twitter.com/TheFinalGirl__/status/1559260803047559168

Here’s a picture of her with some other inbred hillbillies, some of whom are wearing cowboy hats, and they’re at some fucking ho down in a barn.  I’m not making this up.  This is a real picture.  This is the shit that must go on in rural Pennsylvania.  

https://twitter.com/PadrepioSaint/status/1558530365572075520

She re-tweeted a painting of Mary chilling with our lord and saviour.  The quote given is, “Love our Lady and make her loved ~•~ Always pray the Rosary and pray it as often as possible.”

Is this what Casey is doing in her free time?  Praying the rosary?  To what end?  What is she hoping to achieve?

I went to Catholic school for many years.  This is not advocated.  I have never been told to sit at home at pray all day.  Not once.  By anyone.  

What kind of a fucking lunatic, fringe, heretical, fundamentalist bullshit hillbilly cult would tell you to pray the rosary all day?  You’re just wasting your fucking time.  Even by the fucking standards of any normal, mainstream religion you’re wasting your time with that shit.  They are not telling you to sit at home and pray all day.  It doesn’t happen.  They’re telling you to be a good person, if you’re not a good person you’re going to go to hell, shit like this.  Very little mention of prayer.

https://twitter.com/TheFinalGirl__/status/1546282740009639946

She retweets a picture of a woman dressed like a prostitute who’s covered in blood and makes three drooling emojis.  

You know what the bible has to say about masturbating and homosexuality?  Spoiler: it’s not favourable.

But this fucking dumb hillbilly thinks that she can just pray her way into Heaven.  No.  It doesn’t work that way.  You have to put the time and effort in to be a good person.  Do good things.  You can’t just sit at home with your pants around your ankles, jerking off to disgusting tits and gore porn, while you pray a rosary.  That shit is sacrilegious in the extreme.

If this inbred hick doesn’t drastically change her ways, she’s looking at an eternity in the fiery pits of Hell where daemons will forever sodomise her with their spikey penises.  But maybe she’s into that.  

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