Gamer Girls

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkL2W7XeFrM

Two glorious hours of Erin playing a game for the first and last time ever, on stream, for money.  

Isn’t she at all embarrassed with her life?  She started this fake Youtube channel when she was 29 years old.  MAYBE that was young enough to waste your life with this dumb shit.  Maybe.  

Now she’s 34 or 35 years old.  She’s still doing this.  She’s still playing video games for horny, mentally-challenged guys.  And she’s getting $100/month for this.

There’s a reason why you don’t see many gamergrrls or even gamerguys over the age of about 30.  Partly, it’s because the horntards are looking for hot chicks and, to some degree, hot dudes.  Consider the hostility that the Screenwave gang got from the homos on Reddit.  It was ENTIRELY because of their appearance.  One-hundred percent.  

So that’s part of the reason why people move on from Youtube and Twitch and whatever.  As they get older, their looks fade.  

But I think that a bigger reason why people stop doing this shit is because it’s embarrassing and they want to do something more age-appropriate with their lives.  It’s fine to be kooky and do stupid shit on Youtube when you’re in your 20s, but when you’re in your 30s, your priorities should change.  Maybe start taking a search for a career more seriously.  Maybe start a family.  Shit like this.  Most people don’t want to be playing Donald Duck: Goin’ Quackers, on stream, for money, when they’re 34 years old.  

You look at Retro Ali or Bobdunga or PelvicGamer or Madam Fomo, these women have all given up.  They’re not doing this shit any more.  Partly because it’s not a success but I think that the main reason is that it’s just embarrassing.  They don’t want to do this shit any more.  Especially for no money.  It was fine for a lark when they were in their 20s.  “Oh, I’m a Youtuber!  Isn’t that so modern?”  But now they’re in their 30s.  Their priorities have changed.  It’s embarrassing at this point.

Not Erin.  Still cranking out the shit videos as a 34/35 year old woman.  No views.  No money.  This is all a giant scam.  A giant scam that is netting her one hundred bucks a month.  

0:15 – “Usually, a lot of Disney games — I know I really like Disney parks and stuff like that but when it comes to Disney video games, the majority of them, I don’t really enjoy that much.”

Well, you have only played a handful of them for the NES and SNES, once, on stream, for money.  And you don’t like video games broadly.  So…there’s nothing really specific to Disney.

0:45 – Then there’s an edit.  Idiotic.

1:00 – She’s reading from the chat.  “Dreamcast games are so expensive these days?  Yeah…they are starting to get up there.”

Good contribution.  When was the last time that Erin was looking at prices for Dreamcast games?  Never.  Not fucking once in her life.

So she just made this generic remark.  “They’re starting to get up there.”  Can you give us a ballpark figure?  Name some Dreamcast games that you recently saw and the prices that they were going for.  

This game looks awful, by the way.

2:00 – “I like Sailor Pluto too.”

She’s reading from the chat.  Is there ANYTHING that you can say about Sailor Pluto, Erin?  She clearly knows nothing about any of this.  Not even Sailor Moon.  This is another made up interest of hers.  

2:30 – “I feel like I identify with Sailor Moon the most because I’m really, really silly.”

Uh huh.  Look at wacky Erin over here.  She’s just so random!  Always being random!  And kooky!  And nutty!  What a free spirit!

She’s never done a single thing in her life and she’s most boring woman on earth.

3:15 – “I forget what the teddy bear does.”

How could she “forget”?  She never played this before except briefly, on stream, for money, during a “variety” stream.  

6:45 – “What’s your favourite Buffy episode?”  This was a question from the chat.  And Erin says Hush from season 4.  She actually gave the name of the episode and the season.  

Maybe Buffy the Vampire Slayer is the one thing in the universe that Erin actually knows something about.

12:45 – “Thank you I Am…Lo…Locut…Locutus.”  

She badly mispronounces “Locutus”.  She’s a big Star Trek fan, guys.  

I haven’t told this Erin story in a while.  There was a video where Erin and Mike were talking about Star Trek.  And Mike said to Erin that Erin is more of a fan of the original series.  Erin disputed that and said that she’s seen a lot of Star Trek: The Next Generation and she likes that show too.

So there was another video where Mike started showing Erin his collection of Star Trek t-shirts.  They were presumably from the 1990s and there would be a picture of one of the characters on it and they’d have the name of the character underneath.

Erin looked at each t-shirt and said the name of the character.  So she would look at the William Riker t-shirt and say, “Riker” because the word “Riker” was on the t-shirt.  She’d say, “Worf” on the Worf t-shirt.  Shit like this.  She was trying to fool us into thinking that she knows all of the characters but no.  She was just reading what each t-shirt said.  It was obvious.  She wouldn’t say anything until the part of the shirt with the writing was unfurled.  

Then Mike got his Star Trek: Generations t-shirt.  It has Captains James Tiberius Kirk and Jean Luc Picard on them.  

Erin is looking at them.  And just waiting.  This particular shirt didn’t have the names of the characters on them.  So after frantically scanning the shirt for a name, she just laughed nervously.  

She didn’t recognise these characters.  She didn’t know the two stars of the two respective shows.  She looked at the t-shirt and thought, “Who is this bald motherfucker?  Where’s the name?  I don’t know any of this nerd shit.”

Big Star Trek fan.  I wish I could find that video.  I did a review of it but it’s gone.  

13:00 – Erin says that there are some VHS tapes of Erin’s childhood talent shows.  This was after a horntard asked about this.

What possible talent would Erin have for any talent show?  She’s never done anything.

16:15 – She compares this game to Kirby in the Forgotten Land, a game that she played recently, on stream, for money.  Even though this game is nothing like that game.  

“Rayman 3 is similar to this game?  Okay, that’s cool.”

This is all that she ever says because she has no charisma, doesn’t know how to talk, and doesn’t know anything about video games.

16:45 – “You found your old 8-track records?  That’s cool.”

Again.  All she ever says is “That’s cool”.  This is not engaging content for a stream.  This is boring as fuck.  Why can she never say anything?  The guy was talking about music.  Erin claims to be interested in music.  Couldn’t she ask him anything?  “What were the bands?” would be an obvious question.

No.  “That’s cool”.  Negative charisma.

17:00 – Somebody asks her about some Barbie game and she gives a long, rambling response based on the one time that she played the game, on stream, for money.  She really likes it and it makes her happy.  She played it ONCE.  On stream, for money.  She really likes it.  It makes her happy.

You know what I say to that pack of lies?  That’s cool.

17:45 – “That’s cool FlatulentRage.”

We don’t even know what’s cool this time.  FlatulentRage could have said anything.  She didn’t read the message out.

19:00 – Erin has absolutely no idea how to play the game.  You have to touch a flying book and then grab an item.  There’s a particular item, for example, a teddy bear.  And you have six seconds after touching the book to get the item.  There’s a big timer that appears on a book.  Erin doesn’t get it.  Erin doesn’t see the timer.  She’s so unfamiliar with video games that she doesn’t know these things.

So she touches the book, avoids the obvious teddy bear right in front of her, goes backwards through the level, and then says, “It couldn’t be the one from the other level, could it?”  By the way, the six seconds that you have to get the item has already LONG expired by this point.  But she thinks that you’re supposed to touch that book and then go to a PREVIOUS LEVEL.  What a fucking moron.  Has she ever played a video game in her life?  Even from what little she’s played on stream, for money, should equip her with the knowledge to handle this.

19:45 – Then by sheer luck, she manages to do things properly this time and says, “Oh.  I guess you have to jump on him a little.”

She still hasn’t figured out that the thing is on a fucking timer.

This game is clearly for young children, by the way.  Erin can’t figure out this game for young children.

20:45 – She gets to another teddy bear and tries jumping on it a few times because that’s what she thinks you need to do.  No.  You need the fucking book and then you need to reach that teddy bear within six seconds.  There’s a big timer that appears on screen.  

21:00 – She’s reading from the chat.  “Oh, there’s a timer for getting the bear?” 

Moron.

21:15 – “Do I have a worst game of all time?  Ummm…”

No.  She doesn’t know anything about video games.  Why do people ask these sorts of questions?

“I got to think about that one…that I think is the worst of all time.”

It has to be something that she played on stream, for money.  That’s the only thing that she knows.  

Then she gives up.  She changes the subject.  She can’t even answer something as simple as this.  A question that must get asked regularly.  She doesn’t know.  She doesn’t know anything about video games.  Just give a name of a bad game.  Street Sports Soccer.  Bad Street Brawler.  Nobody is going to argue.  Nobody is going to hold you to this answer.  Nobody is going to say, “Oh, but Donkey is a much worse game than Karate Kid.”  Just name a bad game.  She can’t do it.

This then begs the question, why did she even read the comment?  Why read a comment and then not give an answer to the question?  If you don’t have an answer, just don’t read the comment.  She’s an idiot.

22:00 – “I’m trying to think.  Ummm…I do have an answer.”

She’s really racking her brain over this.

“But I can’t think right now.”

Negative charisma.

Then the horntards start prompting her with answers.  Fuck off.  Just name a fucking game.  You don’t need help from the horntards.  This is about your individual experience.  Not what the horntards think are bad games, we’re asking what YOU think is the worst game.

She can’t do it.

22:15 – She proposes Action 52 as an answer.  She’s a big AVGN fan, guys.

How about talking about your own experience with video games?  

“In the video I’m working on now, I’ve found some really bad ones.”

Oh.  Now she’s talking about something that she’s doing for a Youtube video.  Why does everything have to be about things you’re streaming or doing for a Youtube video?  Just name a bad game that you’ve played in your spare time.  Perhaps in your youth.

Can’t do it.

22:30 – “I don’t know.  I have to think.  I know that I should have an answer for that question.”

Well, if you were even remotely interested in video games and/or familiar with video games, then yes.  You’d have an answer.  Immediately.  But you have no interest or experience in any of this shit, so you don’t have an answer.

It would be like somebody asking me what the worst Britney Spears song is.  I don’t fucking know.  I can only think of one song.  What am I going to say?  So I’d just be honest and say, “Well, I don’t know anything about Britney Spears so I can’t give you an answer to that.”

Not Erin.  Erin can’t be honest.  Erin can’t just admit that she doesn’t know anything about video games.  What’s the big deal?  Nobody fucking cares.  Why continue this ridiculously transparent farce?

23:00 – “Thank you so much Keegan the Creep for the raid.  Welcome, raiders.”

Yeah.  Strap in for the excitement.  

She asks him what he was playing.  He says, “I wasn’t playing anything.”

Do you want to know what Erin’s response was to this?  You’ll never guess in a million years.

“That’s cool.”

Let’s check out the comments.  

– “Hey Erin, I think that you are a very kind , clever and open-minded person, which makes you very valuable for the whole world.I can understand that you love Mike,. because he is the complete opposite. My girl also is white; I am black.And i also think that you are very beautiful and you should’nt be too scared of going outside, because you fear to get nervous around stuff and people. It would make me happy to see somebody like you in my hood. Sadly it is, beautiful people like you and Mike are always inside their homes”

Creepy scumbag loser.