He’s still in Sao Paulo but THIS time he’s at…another video game store.
WHO GIVES A SHIT? The is the world’s most boring travelogue. The same fucking games that you can get in the US but the “bonus” here is that the proprietor of the store doesn’t understand what the fuck you’re saying.
I’ll watch at 2x speed.
2:00 – Some fat guy makes an appearance. No, not John Riggs. Not John Hancock. Not that third fat guy from the previous video. A DIFFERENT fat guy. They’re all fucking fat guys.
I just don’t get it. You’re a big fat guy, right? And you like video games. I’m with you so far. Big fat guys often like video games.
But here’s the part that trips me up. You’re going to Brazil. And instead of going to the beach or the museums or taking a bus tour or checking out the night life or eating in the restaurants or doing literally ANYTHING ELSE, you say, “I’m going to spend my time in fucking video game stores talking to other fat American nerds.”
WHAT’S THE FUCKING POINT? You could have stayed home and talked to obese nerds in video game stores. Why go all the way to Brazil for that? Who goes to Brazil for the fucking video games stores?
John Riggs’ idea of what Brazil is like is going to be “Everybody’s a fat American in a video game store.”
13:45 – So after nearly 14 agonizing minutes of showing shitty bootleg games that looked like somebody dug them out of the trash, we get John Riggs randomly showing a table full of confectionary and the proprietor of the previous video is suddenly here. Why? Nobody knows. Nothing is explained. But John Riggs makes a “joke” asking “What game is this” and pointing to the confectionary. The proprietor, who has limited English abilities, doesn’t understand. John Riggs doesn’t understand how to speak to people with limited English. Jokes can be confusing. Especially lame ones that even a native speaker would respond with, “What the fuck are you talking about?”
Then some other fat guy, John Hancock as it turns out, says, “What’s on top” in reference to the sugar, an obvious cocaine “joke”. You know…Brazil being a big supplier of cocaine.
Let me look this up. Colombia, sure, but Brazil?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_prevalence_of_cocaine_use
Well, the US has the highest cocaine usage of any country in the world. That’s interesting.
“Colombia is the top coca cultivator in the world, producing 60% of the world’s cocaine, followed by Peru and Bolivia.”
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-66784678
I found another site that again only lists Colombia, Peru, and Bolivia and they give the statistics as 65% Colombia, 27% Peru, 8% Bolivia.
If you look specifically for “Brazil” and “cocaine”, you’ll find some stories but it’s not a joke that I would make about Brazil. Who associates cocaine with Brazil?
14:45 – This is what giant nerds in Brazil look like. They’re not obese, they just grow handlebar moustaches. You see this shit in the US too. GIANT nerds grow the handlebar moustaches.
So that’s the video. Holy shit was that boring. SHOW THE FOOD, YOU FAT FUCK. That was the only good part of John Riggs’ videos. When he’d show what he was fucking eating. Here’s a perfect excuse to do it, you’re abroad, the food is different, SHOW IT. Who gives a shit about these fucking bootleg games, Woody “the” Woodpecker Brazil exclusive games, and games that are identical to the US versions but for the fact that the name of the company on the game is different?
- “stay safe in brazil”
WHAT CAN HAPPEN? He’s not going anywhere other than these fucking video game stores.
Besides, is Brazil any less safe than the US? I’ve been assaulted by random people in the US, had guns pulled on me, lunatics chasing me in their cars. I genuinely believe that I’d be safer in one of those favelas in Brazil with the scrap tin shacks than I would in my home town.