John Riggs is in Brazil trolling for booty, as usual. Some of that big, Brazilian booty.
He’s there with John Hancock.
Look at that thumbnail. The guy who owns the store has lighter skin than John Riggs, who is red, presumably from years of alcohol abuse. That strikes me as peculiar. Although, I suppose Brazilian people, like South and Latin American people in general, come in a range of shades. They’re a very mixed people, after all.
A Spanish professor from somewhere in South America (I think) once said that in her country, people decide what their “race” is, based on skin colour. So if you’re light-skinned, you’re white, if you’re dark-skinned, you’re black, and I suppose there’s a middle range for brown. And this can vary even within families.
Furthermore, light-skinned is preferred, but that’s perhaps well-known. Being of Spanish descent, or Portugese in the case of Brazil, is preferred to being a descendent of American Indians and/or African slaves.
But imagine John Riggs travelling all the way to Brazil just for booty. The levels of desperation. I know that he’s saying that he’s going there for a nerd convention, but in what universe would you travel nearly 7,000 miles for a nerd convention? He doesn’t even speak the fucking langauge.
I used to live with Brazilian guys. There were…four of them. I had to share a room with one of them. Biggest asshole I’ve ever known? Umm…possibly? There are some contenders. I talk about it here:
I used to be more open-minded back then. I’d live with Indian guys, Sri Lankan guys, Eastern Europeans, French, Brazilians, whatever. I didn’t give a fuck. Broaden your horizons, you know?
Then you live with them. Oh. This is why stereotypes exist. They’re true. Not everybody thinks and behaves like I do. Some people have WILDLY different ideas on how to think and behave.
0:15 – They’re in Sao Paulo. I know that’s the capital, but aren’t there ghettos there? There surely must be, as there are in the large cities of most countries. But I’m thinking that back in…the 1980s…1990s…there were roving police fighting with gangs in Sao Paulo. This was back when Brazil had some dictator. Let me look this up.
Oh, maybe I’m thinking of Rio De Janiero.
History of Brazil…military dictatorship. Here we are. 1968 to 1985. Supported by the US, of course.
Which country had those planes that they would fly out, fill with political dissenters, and then open the cargo bay over the ocean?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_flights
A few of them, apparently, but I was probably thinking of Argentina. Brazil not among them.
So John Riggs mentions that it’s a house. That is strange but it’s something I’ve seen in the UK too. In small towns in particular. There will be a shop, like a convience shop or something, and it’s just somebody’s house in a residential neighbourhood. How do they get the zoning for that?
John Riggs immediately shows the chocolate that you can get at this store, possibly for free. Garoto. Let me look this up.
Founded by a German immigrant in 1929 and acquired by Nestle in 2002. So it’s probably shit now.
“Today, Garoto is one of Brazil’s largest chocolate manufacturers in the world.”
Way to go, Wikipedia. That doesn’t make any fucking sense. Is it the biggest in the world or the biggest in Brazil?
Are there any reviews on Amazon or something?
“Muito bom produto, excelente qualidade”
Look at this. I don’t even speak Portugese but I think I can figure this one out. “Very good product. Excellent quality.”
“Essa marca de chocolate sempre supera as nossas expectativas. Chocolates excelentes!”
Umm…”It’s (something) of chocolate sometimes super and exceeds expectations. The chocolates are excellent.”
Oh, here’s a negative review. Only two stars. “Prezzo esagerato molto caro ho comprato a Milano nel supermercato brasiliano per 11 euro non comprerò più.”
Ummm…I think he’s just complaining about the price, the chocolates being cheaper at the supermarket. But why is he giving prices in euros? Oh, he’s from Italy and the review is in Italian.
0:45 – John Riggs is there for Retro Con, or as he calls it Booty Con. Behind him is some fat white chick. What a disappointment. You go all the way to Brazil hoping to get some Brazilian booty and the only people who show up for your meetup are fat Americans living in Brazil.
And it’s soooooooo loud in there. People are speaking English so these are people there for this weird John Riggs/John Hancock meetup. And they’re just Americans living in Brazil.
1:15 – John Riggs shows a game that this guy is selling. John Riggs doesn’t even know the name of the currency. Or at least he was unsure on the pronunciation. He clearly does no research before he travels.
So the guy is selling an N64 game called Stunt Racer for 16,000 BRL. That’s Brazilian real, of course. We all know about Brazilian currency. That would be…$2871 according to my current calculations and…yeah, exactly the same according to this guy’s calculator. So he’s giving the real exchange rate. But is that possibly the price that this game goes for? Let me look this up.
Maybe it is. Some price guide lists it at $2,300, complete in box. And there are a lot of posts on Reddit talking about the price explosion of this particular game.
The video is 30 minutes long and I’ve scanned it and NO EATING. What the fuck? I’m supposed to watch half an hour of John Riggs just showing the merchandise in a video game store? Who gives a shit? SHOW THE FOOD. Go out on the street and show the fucking Brazilian women.
This is brutal. Why am I watching this? This is no different from him showing fucking…what’s that store near to him…Pink Gorilla. He goes all the way to Brazil and then makes the exact same fucking video that he always makes.
Unbelievable. This guy couldn’t make an interesting video to save his life. He’s in Brazil but everyone around him is an American (except for the owner) and he’s just showing the fucking games. WHO CARES?
There are minor differences between the names of the games in Brazil compared to the US and shit like this. It’s…I don’t give a fuck. This is not worth travelling to Brazil for.
And it’s all fucking fat guys. John Riggs is fat, John Hancock is fat, and Keith (or whoever the third guys is) are fat too. This is embarrassing. These are the American ambassadors going to Brazi representing the nerd community. I mean, it’s accurate but it’s still embarrassing.
14:30 – John Riggs is looking at the inflated prices of the official games and says that he should be brought his games from home to sell them here at inflated prices.
It reminds me of a story that a teacher told me in the 7th grade or so. It was a religion teacher, I should mention. She talked positively about how Americans would go to the Soviet Union and sell their jeans for grossly inflated prices, even covering the entire cost of their flight, American jeans being a popular commodity in the dying days of the Soviet Union. Apparently. And this highly-religious woman was encouraging this exploitive practice.
John Riggs is going through a bunch of bootleg games. Who cares?
I’m 18 minutes in. I don’t get this. Why travel to Brazil for THIS?
21:00 – I skipped ahead. Finally, we see a woman who isn’t 300 pounds. She’s there with her boyfriend or something. Dmarcal90. Let’s look this up.
https://www.youtube.com/@Dmar%C3%A7al90/videos
Some Brazilian nerd with seven videos, none of which feature this woman. Last video uploaded nine months ago. He seems to have only uploaded stuff for a month. But surprisingly he gets more views than fucking…what’s her name…Zap Cristal.
John Riggs asks them who won some game they were playing but I don’t think that either of them speak English.
I just skimmed through the rest of the video. NOTHING HAPPENED.
Well, that was…that. I think that I’ve already expressed my disappointment in the lack of sexy ladies in the video. What else can I say? It’s shit.
In other news, I don’t think that Shishi is with us any more.
https://twitter.com/ShishiVids
He posted multiple times a day, every day, usually about apes and anime, sometimes about Erin, and then suddenly stopped on the sixth day of February. His Patreon is gone. His Youtube channels haven’t been updated in over a year. And I haven’t heard Erin mention him in a long time.
I don’t suppose that Newt tweeted about his death. But no shoutout from Erin either. This was her number one fan. She doesn’t give the slightest of fucks. Erin will talk about Michelle Trachtenberg dying, somebody who wouldn’t give Erin the time of day, but ShiShi, somebody who devoted years of his life and untold thousands of dollars to Erin…nothing.
There’s a guy who knows how to make a video about Sao Paulo. Not a video game or fat American in sight. Just a bunch of creep shots of women. Actually, it’s also pretty boring.