We all know about Erin “Zombie Gums” Plays’ HORRIBLE candy cane/ice cream tattoo that she got when she was 19 or so on her left arm that even she’s ashamed of.
So recently, 37 year old Erin Plays decided to compound her bad decisions by getting another tattoo. Possibly more than one.
On her right arm, similar horrible placement as her candy cane/ice cream tattoo, she has the words “some day.” Wait, no, it’s “someday.” Is that a word? I guess it is.
She says that she got it from a Strokes song, her favourite band that isn’t Britney Spears.
This song obviously had an impact on old Zombie Gums. Let’s check out the lyrics.
…is this a joke? It’s nothing. It’s completely shallow nonsense about an ex-girlfriend.
Oh yeah. I remember this. It’s GAY AS FUCK. I knew it was gay then and I know it’s gay now.
And the video is about fucking Family Feud. With Richard Karn as the host. Probably the least popular Family Feud host of them all.
I’ve seen Ray Colms’ final episode probably ten times. I don’t even have to look it up, I have it memorized. Some Asian family was the winner and Ray kept making fun of the guy’s height and was a real asshole, shitting on their answers. He makes a comment like, “I thought that I was a loser” while repeating some answer that the contestant gave. Then at the end of the show, the family celebrates but Ray just walks off the set and apparently just drove home. I think they were giving him a farewell party but he didn’t attend.
He was getting replaced by Richard Dawson, the original host of Family Feud, allegedly due to declining ratings. But Richard Dawson didn’t change the decline. The show was cancelled within a year or two.
Ray Colms also killed himself within a year or two, I believe.
Let me look this up. I want to make sure I get the chronology right.
The decision to attempt to bring back Dawson was a reversal from the decision made when the revival was first proposed. Mark Goodson himself had steadfastly refused to consider Dawson for the hosting position, due in large part to his behavior and clashes with the production staff when he hosted the original series. Many of those same staff members were working on the current series, including Felsher, with whom Dawson’s relationship was particularly acrimonious. The elder Goodson also showed significant loyalty toward Combs as host, sticking with him despite the show’s struggles, but with him deceased, Dawson signed on to come back to his former position, and All American Television renewed the syndicated Feud for the following season. Combs was allowed to finish the season, and with his final episode, he tersely addressed how being displaced made him feel like “a loser” and brusquely left the studio as the credits rolled. Combs committed suicide two years later, in part because of the career collapse brought on by the hosting change and the financial ramifications of unemployment.
Right there on Wikipedia. I was dead right. And Dawson’s return only lasted a year before the show was cancelled.
These Family Feud episodes with Richard Dawson back in the late 1970s and early 1980s are entirely unwatchable. He kisses every fucking woman. People will say, “Oh, it was the 70s. That’s how things were.” No. It was controversial even at the time. People complained about it. There was a whole big letter writing campaign to try to get him to stop this shit. The producers wanted him to stop. There was some sort of public vote on this.
There’s Ray Colms’ final episode, if you’re interested.
Somebody in the comments suggested that Ray could have started a proto-blog after getting fired. Interesting take. As though that would have changed anything.
Somebody else mentions that the father on Alf also walked off the set after the last day. Yeah, I knew about that too. I don’t think that Ray smoked crack with homeless black men afterwards, though.
Another comment talks about how Ray was a Mormon missionary. I didn’t know that.
I used to get these Mormons or Jehovah’s Witnesses or whatever they are coming to my home. In the US, you answer the door and one of the guys (they always come in pairs) would say, “Do you believe you’re going to Heaven?” or something like that. Not unlike, “Have you heard the good news?” I can appreciate that. These are people spreading the good word.
What I don’t appreciate are the British equivalents. These people will knock on your door and then stand awkwardly in total silence when you open the door. Hey, asshole, you knocked on my door. What do you want? No. They just stand there like mental patients until you finally figure out that they’re Jehovah’s Witnesses and tell them to fuck off. Then they go to the next door and do the exact same crazy thing.
I had a couple of jokers just recently, they had to be in their 70s at least, and after they knocked on the door, they put an envelope through the mailslot. So I open the door and it’s these two old guys and they look at me confused and say, “I just left you a letter.”
Hey. Asshole. I’m here. If you’re going to knock on the door, fucking say something. I’m there. Are you interested in saving souls or aren’t you? Don’t knock on the door and then just leave a fucking note. If you want to leave notes, leave notes. Don’t knock on the fucking door.
So I closed the door and read the note. They were Jehovah’s Witnesses and the note was rife with spelling errors. They didn’t even spell “Christian” right. It doesn’t instill confidence. But these are the type of dopes going to door to door like zombies and then saying NOTHING when you open the door for them.
So anyway, back to Zombie Gums. Someday is a SUPER gay song about nothing. I can see why it appeals to Erin, I guess. She’s as vapid and empty as the song is.
But she has something on the back of her arm too. If you pause at 37:00, you can see a bit of it. It’s something in a square. Could be anything. Maybe an album cover.
So this has been poor choice number ten billion by Erin. Why didn’t she at least ask the horntards what tattoo she should get? That’s what Pam aka CannotBeTamed did. And Pam was innundated with people telling her not to get a tattoo. She apparently banned each and every one of those people. But had she listened, she wouldn’t have gotten that horrendous tattoo that looks like she has some disease.
Why didn’t Zombie Gums put pictures of her tattoo up anywhere on Twitter or Instagram? It’s a normal thing that people do when they get a tattoo. Pam did it. Not Erin.
Erin also still hasn’t posted any pictures of her dog.
WHY NOT? What she posts instead is a re-tweet of the anniversary of some shitty game that she doesn’t give a fuck about and doesn’t know anything about.
Instead of posting this zero-effort shit about things that you don’t care about, why not post her fucking tattoo and/or dog. Things that she’s actually doing. Is she that concerned about not talking about her personal life? She also never talks about visiting her parents twice a month, always vaguely referring to it after the fact as having been “out of town.”
Erin, you’re BORING AS FUCK. Inject a TINY bit of personality in your tweets by talking about your life in even the most superficial of terms. You got a dog. Who cares? Put a picture of the dog up. That’s not too personal. Or show your horrible tattoos. ANYTHING.
Absolutely horrendous stream, of course. She starts by playing Duke Nukem, the original shitty platformer game, and clearly knows NOTHING about it. She doesn’t even know about the 3-D Duke Nukem games. Never even heard of it. I didn’t watch much past this. She’s unwatchable. Colours, background shit, “X looks like Y”, and general stupidity.
What tattoos can Erin get next? Something zombie-related. She’s not going to get anything video game related because she doesn’t give a fuck about video games. You see what she got. It was about some shitty band from 25 years ago. This is what she’s interested in.
Maybe she could get that “iconic” image of Britney Spears doing a Woody “The” Woodpecker impression in her limo, on her back.
Or what about a giant picture of Brett Somer’s face from her Match Game days. Erin claims to be a big Match Game fan, after all. Give Mike something sexy to look at when he’s giving it to Erin from the backside.
I don’t know how the tattoo industry stays afloat. NOBODY likes tattoos. Has a tattoo ever made somebody more attractive? The industry feeds on poor decisions. Do you think that Kieran is getting any action from that Cobra tattoo on his arm? Not even CM Punk managed to get anything out of that tattoo. Any women that CM Punk manages to get are interested in him despite those fucking nerd tattoos, not because of them.
Or what about Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining? Is she fighting the dudes off with sticks ever since she got that jaundice tattoo? No, it’s a massive negative for her. And this is a woman who already has a laundry list of negatives. Why add to it?
There’s James Rolfe’s shitty tattoo that people only make fun of. The fags on Reddit, at least.
I’ve never heard a single good thing about James Rolfe’s wife’s tattoos.
There’s so much wrong with this and it’s only three minutes long. It’s shocking. I haven’t seen American television in 20 years. Is this what it is now?
First of all, they describe the buttocks as the “doody dispenser”. It’s right there on the board. And nobody even mentions it. This sort of infantile “humour” must be so prevalent in the US now that it doesn’t even warrant a mention.
And then you look at this family. Michelle is 300 pounds. I think that Abe is the Mexican boyfriend of Robert, who’s a giant fucking bear. Abe is also pretty big, by the way. And then Lavana, who I think is the matriarch of the family, unashamedly, boastful even, talks about her tits. Right in front of this fucked up family of hers. Richard is a giant, fat piece of shit too. What is wrong with these people? Does nobody eat right and exercise in the US any more?
The other family is fucking obese as well.
You absolutely did not see families like this in the Richard Dawson era. Or for that matter the Ray Colms era. Or even the Louie Anderson era. Or the Richard Karn era. Or the John O’Hurley era. What happened?
Imagine Richard Dawson approaching these fucking low-class heifers to give them a kiss.
When Louie Anderson was hosting the show HE was the only fat guy. Now, it seems, that the entire families are all bigger than Louie Anderson.
Here’s a totally random episode from 2001 with Louie Anderson. The families are normal. No weird inter-racial homosexuality anywhere. The people are (reasonably) in shape. They’re sort of dressed up. And the questions are fairly normal and respectable. The first question is about what rebelious rock and roll types would do and “dye your hair” was the top answer. “Doody dispenser” is nowhere to be seen.
“Get tattoos” was also an answer. Now, it’s rebelious not to get a tattoo. Most people have these shitty tattoos.
What a complete collapse of society in only 25 years captured so clearly by Family Feud.
I saw a similar thing with What’s My Line. You watch the 1950s episodes and everyone is well-spoken and erudite and their penmanship is first class. I don’t just mean the celebrities and the journalists and the rich people, they’ll have working class contestants and they’ll still carry themselves well.
Then you watch the 1970s episodes of What’s My Line and…hoo boy. It’s like night and day. The panel is full of idiots like Soupy Sales, the celebrity mystery contestants all behave like fucking retards, and there’s a clear decline in the cognitive abilities of the normal contestants. The host is a dumb piece of shit too. Larry Blyden making lame half-jokes about hippies and shit. Fuck off. The jobs that people do are often low class trash too. Some woman will be a “car stunt woman”, for example, and they’ll show footage of her skidding on her ass down a race track while being pulled by a car. Now, that’s entertainment.
And yet, the 1970s make the 2000s, or certainly today, look like a golden age. How much further can society decay?
there are only 2 people in history who ever managed to sport tats in a cool way: Guile from the street fighter 2 series and Don Ramón. problem is, both are fictional characters
What about Pam Anderson’s barbwire tat in the movie…..Barbwire?……
It certainly doesn’t add anything. And it’s commemorating a movie that was a critical and commercial failure.
Mexican sitcoms from the 1970s? Interesting. I wondered how you possibly knew about this, living in Brazil, but according to Wikipedia, the show was huge and translated into over 50 languages.
She should have invested in some new tits instead of tats.
This was a great read. Thank you.
You know that she’d fuck it up.
Something that always confuses me about Europeans is how they seem to think like… slower. I mean no disrespect, if anything, I meant it as a compliment, I am usually out of focus and too accelerated. For example, and this has happened in all the European countries I’ve visited, I would enter a restaurant and the owner or whoever is working there would just stare at me, as if expecting some sort of declaration… when I don’t say anything (lately I do this on purpose) they would ask something like “yeah, what can I do for you?”.
I mean, it’s a restaurant, it’s lunch time, and I am entering into the establishment.. what could I possibly want? Just say hi? And so, I need to clarify my intentions: “I want to eat, this is a restaurant right? I can order some food, you bring it to me and then I pay for it”.
The first times this always caught me by surprise. So I defaulted to ask, as reassurance, “This is a restaurant, right?” – Yes. “And it’s open at this moment, right? – Yes. (at this point I would assume that they would know what the next question would be or understand the situation, but no, they allow me to continue). “Can I get a table?” – Sure (finally) come in please.
You don’t get the fake cheeriness like you do in the US.
I was in a restaurant with my friend years ago, I had been there a few times before, and they had a limited vegetarian menu. She didn’t like any of the options so I suggested that she get a sandwich. The waiter came over, he was from Turkey or something, and my friend said, “Can I have a sandwich?” The guy said “yes.” She looked confused and I said, “Just tell him what you want.” So she said some fillings.
When he left, she said, “I expected him to tell me what kind of sandwiches they have.” But no, it wasn’t that kind of place. Sandwiches weren’t even on the menu. It was a kebab shop.
This is more of a language issue with immigrants, though.
So which is better, the blank-face of the euro waiter? Or the insipid, overly-bubbly ‘waitresses’ who apply the same metric to waiting as they do to onlyfans–which is to cynically try and construct a false rapport with you so you’ll line their pockets with silver. They prey on the lonely, shielded by the cultural practice of tipping. Remember: if you don’t tip, YOU’RE the asshole, and be prepared to be shittalked behind your back or have your food spat upon, or worse–all because you didn’t give some dull bovine cafe-whore her deserved tithes.
Frankly, I’ll take the euro approach.
Yeah, both extreme sides are bad, I think. What I meant is that I thought there was some sort of an understanding that, if you own a restaurant and somebody walks in, it meant the guy wants to eat, or at least be seated. Why on earth would anyone be there, if not for that?
I also hate tipping. Because the change is so obvious: when they try to get you into a “tipping mood” they are overly cheerful and even openly flirty. Then the bill came and their face and attitude changes.
just found erinplays’ replacement. she comes complete with all the tropes and mannerisms typical of your cookie-cutter gamerrgirl. her wikipedia-stye voice may either be an asset or a nuissance, depending on what your experience of life has been. just didn’t understand why she looks miserable in all of her videos as she was supposed to be talking about something she purportedly likes?!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjNwstEV-zU&ab_channel=ChaiTeaValley
just throwing some ideas around for the blog. it’s nice and all to read about our established cast of internet celebrities, but the posts about obscure gamerrgirls make for some particularly rivetting reading
Oh right. She even references Wikipedia and Bulbpedia in her “script”. Tough to look at with those facial piercings, though.